Lions Aren't Meant To Be Caged
by starryeyedwr1ter
Summary: NOW COMPLETE: TWT TIN fic: Mark Jennings usually watched from the sidelines as Bryon seduced every chick that caught his eye, but for Ally Jenkins, the girl next door, Mark would always be her one and only...
1. Prologue

**Since I wrote this some time ago, I have gone back and re-edited it. Reviews would be great.**

**Disclaimer: Hinton owns.**

**Prologue**

I guess everybody knows what happened between Mark Jennings and Bryon Douglas. It was all over town when things came to a head and after that the press got wind of it and the story escalated some more. Nobody knows about me though. I don't know if that makes things easier or harder to bear.

I was driving home from Missouri on the day I heard Mark was dead.

It had started off as one of those days when you seem to forget all your troubles. One of those days when it was far too sunny for sadness and the music on the radio was a catchy collection of upbeat tunes that couldn't help but lift your spirits. I was three years off of thirty and last year I had landed a job at the most prestigious law firm in Missouri State. After a year of working my ass off, which meant weekends and usually taking my home work at night, I was finally granted some time off. It was the first day of my summer vacation and I was driving home to Tulsa. I had two weeks to spend anyway I pleased and I had packed up the car with a ridiculous amount of my stuff. I could hardly see out of the back window and it reminded me of driving home from college, the car loaded with boxes and blankets. College seemed like a very long time ago.

I had my window wound all the way down and every now and then I pressed my face into the cool breeze. I was looking forward to getting home. I was looking forward to hugging my Mom, eating her chicken casserole, and kicking off my shoes in my childhood bedroom which was always the same. Mom never touched a thing.

It was more than a four hour drive to Tulsa and I guess I was about an hour away when the news bulletin began to play.

"_Today two teenagers entered a life threatening situation after they picked up an escaped felon at the side of the road. Mark Jennings, age twenty seven, had been serving a five year sentence for drug offences in an upstate juvenile detention centre. Police branded him as extremely dangerous. The two boys who picked him up, brothers Mason and Texas McCormick, were held at gunpoint until a traffic cop tried to pull them over. The car ploughed off the road and Jennings was shot dead while trying to escape. "_

As his name reverberated around my brain, I slammed on my brakes bringing the car to a screeching halt. I yanked open the car door, not even able to get out before I was violently sick on the tarmac road. I knew it was him, I just knew it. This wasn't a mix up with some other Mark Jennings who just happened to be incarcerated for a similar offence. This was all too fitting. He was always too wild to be caged. I began to sob big choking sobs that caused my shoulders to shake violently. I hadn't seen him in ten years but the pain was as real as if it had been yesterday.

My beautiful lion was gone.


	2. First Love

**Chapter One**

I have lived next door to Bryon Douglas since I can remember. Probably longer than he can. I remember his Dad, a big strapping man like Bryon came to be. He had an ever ready smile and was always whistling. Word in the neighbourhood was Mr Douglas had quite an eye for the ladies and one day one particular lady caused him to leave Bryon and his Mom. Mrs Douglas looked kind of sad for a while but she was the kind of woman who bounced back quickly. Pretty soon, it was like Mr Douglas had never been there.

Bryon and I never really got along too good. From an early age he was a ladies man, just like his Daddy. He went for breathtakingly beautiful girls and I guess I just didn't make the cut. My plain face, mousy coloured hair and boyish figure weren't exactly the attributes Bryon Douglas was looking for. If you were a female that he didn't want to date, you didn't exist to him. So I didn't.

Mark was different though.

Mark lived down the street with his Mom and Dad, Andrea and Teddy Jennings. They were a ferocious couple, notorious in our neighbourhood for their drunken fights that they often had right out on the street. Neither one of them were very special looking, but Mark, I always thought, looked kinda like a film star. He had silky golden hair and beautiful yellow eyes to match. On top of this, he always seemed to be laughing. I remember watching him and Bryon get in a street fight once and Mark was actually grinning as he fought. Throwing punches with a big smile on his face. Like he got some sort of kick out of it.

I didn't have any brothers or sisters. My Dad died when I was a kid and my Mum worked long hours as a nurse at the hospital. This meant I spent a lot of my childhood alone. My favourite pastime was to sit on our porch swing and watch the world go by. I also loved to read any kind of book I could get my hands on.

Sometimes, when Bryon's curfew came round and Mark had to leave the Douglas house, he would come and sit on the porch with me for a while. Even though I knew he was only delaying the inevitable (going home to his parents), I was glad of his company all the same.

"Hey, Ally, how can you just sit out here all day?" Mark was sitting on the porch steps, puffing on a stolen cigarette. He was only nine but had been stealing his parent's cigarettes since he was seven. They were usually too drunk to notice.

"It's something to do." I shrugged, using my feet to get the porch swing going. It creaked noisily and we both winced.

"You got a whole house to yourself and you sit out here doing nothing." Mark got up and started to pace up and down the porch, restless as usual.

"What would you do?" I kept turning my head to follow him with my eyes. I wished he would just keep still.

"Ah, me and Bryon have a ball when his old lady goes out," he said, hopping over the porch railing and then back again with the agility of a gymnast.

I rolled my eyes at the mention of Bryon and he grinned his careless lion-like grin at me. Then he climbed on top of the porch rail and balanced precariously with arms outstretched like a tight rope walker.

"Aw come on Ally, he's my best pal. You'd like him if you knew him."

"Not much chance of that," I grumbled, mostly to myself.

Mark jumped down and flung himself bodily onto the swing beside me. The old swing shuddered under the impact seeming to groan in protest. I shifted over slightly to give him some room.

"Do you like him or something?" He teased, stretching his arm out across the back of the swing and pushing with his sneakered feet to move it faster. He was smiling widely at me as he said it, knowing that this was anything but the truth.

"Who Bryon? No way!" I protested. Sure, I guessed Bryon was cute in a brooding sort of way but he rated himself way too highly for my liking.

"Aw Ally, you can tell me..." His yellow eyes seemed to gleam in the darkness as he grinned at me.

"Cut it out, Mark," I said, giving him a none too playful punch on the arm. He rubbed the offended spot still grinning and stood up slowly, circling round the back of the swing.

"You shouldn't have done that," his mischievous voice said from behind me.

Before I could respond or even process what he might have meant by that, he had pulled back the swing, literally shaking me out onto the porch. I grunted as I landed heavily, scraping both knees on the uneven floor. Scrambling up, I darted round the swing. I was quick, but he was much quicker.

Laughing crazily, Mark vaulted over the railing. He lost his balance as he landed and his sprawling on the lawn gave me a few seconds to clatter down the front steps towards him. He was up just before I reached him, dodging out of my reach.

With both of us laughing, I chased him out onto the street.

**Reviews are nice :)**


	3. Wounded Lion

**Chapter Two**

I guess it was a few months later that Mark came to live with Bryon.

One cold Saturday night in September, the wail of sirens could be heard echoing down our street. This was nothing new in our neighbourhood but the lights that continued to flash through our front window told us that whatever had happened, had happened close by.

Mom was home and as tired as she was from her twelve hour shift, we both filed wordlessly outside to see what all the commotion was about. Three police cars and an ambulance had pulled up outside Mark's house and there was already quite a crowd gathering around them. Me and Mom walked towards them.

"What's going on?" Mom asked curiously.

"It's Andrea and Teddy," said old Mrs Darwin from across the road "They've had a fight. Frank thought he heard gunfire."

Frank Barton lived next door to the Jennings and was often heard complaining about the Jennings arguments. He never got any sleep, he said.

The crowd were being pushed off the sidewalk by two officers blocking off the scene with police tape.

When they were done, one of them motioned to Frank.

"Anybody else live here?" The officer gestured at Mark's bike that was flung recklessly on the lawn. "Have they got kids?"

"Yeah, one boy," Frank answered "What's going on in there? Is somebody dead?"

The officer ignored his question and raised his voice to project his next question at the growing crowd.

"Has anyone seen the Jennings boy? Anyone know where he is?"

Nobody had. There were shakes of the heads and muttered 'I seen him yesterday' but nothing concrete to confirm Mark's whereabouts. I felt a growing fear in my stomach as I studied the policeman's serious face.

It was then I saw Bryon and Mrs Douglas approaching. It was the first time I had ever seen Bryon look scared.

"Here," Frank called to the officer "Ask them. He and the Jennings kid are joined at the hip."

The officer came over to Bryon's mother who also looked pale and shaken. I guess she'd seen the scene coming long before it actually happened. After a muttered discussion with the police officer, it became apparent that she and Bryon didn't know where Mark was either.

That was when I became seriously worried.

"I hope he's okay, Mom." I said, pulling on her sleeve.

"I think him not being inside there was probably the best thing that could have happened," Mom said to me, taking my hand "Come on, let's go home."

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept tossing and turning and when I did eventually drift off, I had horrible dreams about Mark's parents shooting him dead.

The next morning, the real story was all over the news. Andrea and Teddy Jennings had shot each other dead in a drunken argument and Mark was still missing. I almost dropped my cereal as a picture of Mark's house flashed up on the news. Two people I knew and had seen coming and going every day for most of my life, were dead.

On top of that, where the hell was Mark? It wasn't like him to disappear like this, at least not without Bryon being in on it too. I could tell from his scared face the previous night that Bryon had no idea where Mark was. I began to get a gnawing feeling in my stomach. Mom had already left for work so I didn't even have anybody to talk to about it.

Wondering if the press were still outside, I hurried out onto the porch only to run headlong into Bryon Douglas. Running into Bryon in my pyjamas was not at the top of my to-do list, but that day he didn't even seem to notice.

"Have you seen Mark?" He asked urgently. "He's been missin' all night."

"No." I shrugged helplessly. "Last time I saw him was yesterday when he was leaving your place on his bike."

Bryon bit his lip anxiously and for a moment, I felt sorry for him.

"Where've you looked?" I asked, wrapping my arms about myself. It had been a cold night and there was still a slight chill in the air.

"Everywhere. Mom's driving around all the parks and stores. I've been round the neighbourhood so many times people are getting sick of me." He balled his hands into fists and his face took on a fiery expression. "The damn newspapers have been outside his house all night too. They only left a half hour ago."

I didn't know what to say to that. I could see on his face that he was thinking the same thing I was. What if Mark's parents had done something to him before they shot each other?

"Well if he comes by-" I started.

"Why the hell would he come here before my house?" Bryon interrupted angrily "He only hangs out with you when everyone else has to go home. Ah, just forget it!"

Before I could respond, Bryon had marched down the porch steps and stomped up the front path. And to think, a few moments ago, I'd felt sorry for him.

I watched him walk up the Harrison's path next door and bang impatiently on their screen door before I went back inside.

I spent the next hour or so watching television and trying not to get too panicked about Mark. I couldn't help it though. It was nearing 10am and there was still no sign of him. I was starting to feel edgy. Poor Mark. His Mom and Dad were dead and it was all over the news. If he was keeping away because of that, who could blame him?

Mark never talked much about his parents. Sometimes he'd appear with a bruise or a cut, a personal gift from his father, and when I'd ask what had happened, depending on what mood he was in, sometimes he let down his guard. I thought back to the conversations that we'd had, and suddenly, I knew where he was.

I made a mad dash into my bedroom, threw on yesterday's clothes and pulled on my sneakers before running like mad towards his house. The place was still cordoned off with police tape but it was deserted. I ducked under the tape, rounded the side of the house and bent down to peer underneath. Sure enough, huddled under the porch, was a shaking, curled up Mark.

He had told me that when his parents fought, he hid under the house to escape them. Although they had no idea where he was, he could hear every word from there.

"Mark!" I exclaimed loudly, relief flooding through me. At least he was okay.

He jumped, startled at the sound of my voice but seemed to relax some when he realised it was me. He made no attempt to come out though, so I got onto my knees and crawled in after him.

"Hey." I touched his arm gently and flinched at how cold he was. "Are you okay?"

He sat there in silence. His face was pale and dirty but there was no evidence that he'd been crying.

"Mark, everybody's looking for you. Bryon's half crazy," I said, settling beside him. "You gonna come out?"

He ignored my question.

"They're dead huh?" He said in a strange, empty voice.

I swallowed uncomfortably and nodded slowly. How did you tell somebody that?

"I been wishing my whole life that they'd just disappear," he said, through gritted teeth. "And now they have, I ain't even sorry."

I slipped my hand in his ice cold one, not knowing what else to say or do, and he looked up at me briefly.

"You mind if we just sit a while?" He asked and I shook my head.

So for the next thirty minutes we just sat holding hands, without talking. I wanted to find some words of comfort, a way to make him feel better, but in the end I think it was the silence that got him thinking straight.

"I guess I better go," he said, treating me to his famous lion-like grin.

"You sure?" I asked, knowing he should, but not wanting to let go of his hand.

"Yeah." Mark nodded. "I gotta go tell Bryon I was under the house with a girl for a half hour."

I didn't even smile, shocked that he could make a joke just hours after his parents had killed each other. I was guessing from his spot under the porch, he had heard the whole thing.

He waited for me to scramble out first and then he followed. We were both caked in mud as we stood up.

"Who'll take care of you now?" I asked hesitantly. I couldn't bear the thought of him not living just down the street and I'd heard horror stories about foster homes.

Mark shrugged but I could tell he'd already thought about it.

"Bryon's old lady, I guess. She always did more than my folks anyhow." He cocked his head sideways at me. "I guess we'll be neighbours."

"Yeah." I nodded, but I was worried about how well he'd taken his parents deaths."Mark, you sure you're okay?"

He looked at me, yellow eyes glinting dangerously.

"They never gave a damn whether I was dead or alive so why should I give a damn about them?" He said with no emotion in his voice. "This is the best thing that coulda happened to me, Ally."

When I look back, I know that he was wrong. That listening to his parents shoot each other dead when he was just nine years old killed something inside of him. The best thing that could have happened was for him to have never been born to them in the first place.

I wish I'd talked to him some more in that moment, maybe persuaded him to tell Mrs Douglas what he'd told me so she could set him straight. Instead, we walked silently towards my house where he gave my arm a squeeze at the gate before heading on to Bryon's house. As I reached my porch, I could hear Mrs Douglas crying out in relief, as her adopted lion, calm as could be, strolled up the front path.


	4. Overnight Guest

**Chapter Three**

Mark settled into life at the Douglas' pretty quickly. He had spent most of his free time there for as long as he could remember and he and Bryon only became tighter over time. Mark even seemed happier. Gone were the days where he'd appear on my porch with a black eye or a bloodied nose, accompanied by a world weary frown. He didn't need to hide out with me anymore until his parents fell asleep but I guess he never forgot that when he had needed me, I had been there.

Of course, I never saw him as much as I would have liked. One thing that hadn't changed over the years was that there was no love lost between me and Bryon.

It was usually early morning when Mark came over. Bryon slept in late but Mark was an early riser like me. Sometimes he'd come over and we'd just hang out on the porch but on colder days we'd sit watching cartoons inside and I'd make hot chocolate. If Bryon ever woke up before Mark left my place, he'd come stomping over to my house, hollering Mark's name from the front steps. He never had the decency to knock. When this happened, Mark would give me an apologetic grin and disappear outside. It made me mad but I tried to understand. Bryon was the only family Mark had.

By the time we hit our teens, Mark and Bryon had joined a gang. This meant they spent a lot of time scrapping with rival gangs, usually over things as stupid as walking on somebody else's street. I didn't get it really. I thought the whole thing was stupid, beating each other to a pulp for no good reason but Mark seemed to get a kick out of it. One day I was reading on the porch swing when a swarm of boys led by Bryon and Mark came whooping and cheering down the street. Some of them were cart-wheeling and others were wielding sticks and bike chains. I glanced up just as Mark neared my house and almost gasped out loud. The whole side of his face was caked in blood from a gash on his head. From the look on his face though, he clearly didn't care.

"Did you see me stomp on him?" Bryon punched the air victoriously "Damn Cobra's thought they had us beat!"

It was at this time, that Mark, practically dancing in the street, noticed I was there. He bounded over like an excited puppy and hopped up the front steps towards me. Before I could greet him, he yelled delightedly;

"We did it Ally! We beat the Cobras!"

I started to roll my eyes but caught up in all the excitement, he grabbed my shoulders and kissed me full on the mouth. It was only for a brief moment but it was in those few seconds that I realised I was in love with Mark. I guess I always had been.

When he pulled away, I was blushing furiously, but he didn't seem to notice. I had never been kissed before and the fact that it had occurred in front of a whole gang of boys made me uncomfortable.

To Mark, it was nothing more than a celebratory kiss, but to me, it meant everything. He hopped back down the steps to join his gang who were cheering and wolf whistling at us. I smiled, despite my embarrassment, but my face fell when I caught the look of disgust Bryon was giving me. He could never understand what Mark saw in me or why he spent any time over at my place. I tried to balance this opinion with the fact that deep down I felt exactly the same way about why Mark hung out with Bryon. The difference was I didn't begrudge their relationship. I was even glad that Mark had someone after all he'd been through.

I became determined to not let Bryon spoil the moment. It was my first kiss from my first love, even if he didn't know it yet.

"Ally!" I was half asleep when I heard the frantic hiss through the slit in my bedroom window, followed by a persistent tapping. I stumbled sleepily out of bed and pulled back the curtain to see Mark standing outside, dripping wet. It wasn't raining anymore but it had been, heavily. Even in the darkness, I could see that Mark was drenched.

We were fifteen and not much had changed. We were still friends and Bryon and I were still enemies. The worst part was, at school I now saw more of Bryon than Mark because of the classes we had been put in. Bryon was in the top classes with me but Mark, who never cared much for school, was in the bottom classes. Even though Bryon and me were the only two kids from our street in the class, we always sat at opposite sides of the room.

They'd both given up organised gang fighting, it had just kinda phased out but both boys still enjoyed a good brawl.

"What the hell are you doing?" I muttered to Mark, lifting the window wide open "My mother's home, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I saw her truck in the drive." Mark shook his wet hair, laughing, and he reminded me of a proud lion shaking out his coat. "You letting me in or you gonna let me freeze to death?"

I stepped back to allow him inside and he clambered through the window.

"Hang on a minute, and be quiet!" I told him, heading for the bathroom for towels.

When I got back, he'd switched my bedroom light on. He already had his wet shirt off and was staring at my memo board. A photograph of he and I was pinned to it. It had been taken on one of the rare mornings my Mom had been home. She had rustled us up some mean pancakes and then before I knew it, the camera was out.

_"Oh, come on, Ally." My Mom coaxed as I covered my face with my hands "You never let me take your photo anymore. Mark doesn't mind, do you, Mark?"  
Mark looked over at me grinning, before pulling me towards him for the photo._

_"Oh come on, Ally. Smile, it won't kill you." My Mom complained, trying to focus her new camera. She was useless with any kind of technology._

_"Yeah, Ally, smile," Mark said, his arm snaking round my waist. He started to ferociously tickle me._

_"Hey stop it!" I shrieked, breaking out into peals of helpless laughter. We were both struggling, breathless from giggling. It was round about then, Mom took the photo._

"Jesus, this must be two years old." Mark said, staring at the picture in fascination "How come you never showed me?"

I was deadly embarrassed. He'd seen my secret photo of us. The one I stared at day after day as I thought about him.

"I forgot it was there," I lied. "My Mom stuck it up there when she got the pictures developed."

"Uh-huh." Mark turned away from the photo and gave me a funny smile.

"What's with you asking all the questions?" I threw a towel at him to hide my discomfort. "I'm not the one climbing through peoples windows soaked to the skin at-" I glanced at the clock. "Jesus, it's 1am, Mark!"

He laughed easily, rubbing his chest with the towel. Even though he was small and slight of build, I noticed his chest and stomach were well toned.

"Aww, Bryon had company and they were, you know-mid way- when I got home. His old lady was asleep on the couch so I thought I'd see if you were up."

"Ew, midway? With his Mom in the house?" I echoed "Who's the girl?"

"Beats me." Mark tossed the wet towel on the bed alongside his shirt. I hurriedly picked them both up and hung them up to dry on the heater. He watched me, an amused expression on his face.

"So you gonna put a guy up for the night?" He asked me, winning me over at once with his huge grin.

"Yeah, I guess." I pulled back the duvet and got underneath "Get the light."

He slipped out of his shoes and crossed the room to turn the light out. I pulled out one of the pillows from underneath me and tossed it down on the floor for him.

Apparently, Mark had other ideas.

I had to stifle a scream as he jumped over me into my single bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" I hissed "You're sleeping on the floor."

"Ah, come on, Ally." Mark had already wrestled a corner of the quilt from me and was wrapping it around himself. "It's freezing tonight."

In the narrow bed, it was impossible to avoid touching each other and after a few seconds of feeling awkward about this, I gave up. Besides he was right, it WAS freezing and his body heat was deliciously soothing.

"So where've you been tonight?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"The Ribbon," he said, so close to my ear that I could feel his warm breath. "Had a few beers and then Terry picked us up some girls."

I stiffened at this, and he laughed, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"Don't worry, that's when I left."

I tried to figure out what this meant. Why had he left? And why was he telling me not to worry? But tiredness got the best of me and as he buried his face into my hair, I fell asleep.

"Alison Jenkins! What the hell is going on?" A voice boomed from above me.

"Huh?" I opened one eye sleepily to see my Mom standing above me with an absolutely livid look on her face. She was holding a newspaper and a cup of something hot and boy, did she look mad. I didn't understand until I felt Mark shift beside me. He had pulled the quilt up over his head and without his show of golden hair, you couldn't even tell it was him.

"Who the hell is this hoodlum?" My Mom screamed, suddenly reaching out and rapping his sleeping form with her newspaper. Mark groaned and mumbled;

"Go away..."

"Excuse me?!" Mom took this an invitation to start pounding him with the paper "Get out! Get out before I call the cops!"

"Mom!" I groaned, struggling to sit up. "It's Mark!"

"Mark?" My mother pulled back the cover where Mark was now awake, grinning sleepily.

"Glory, Mrs Jenkins, you treat all your guests like this?"

"Well I thought-" Mom looked a little off balance as she looked from me to Mark and then back at me again. "What is he doing here, Ally? In your bed?"

Mark was up in an instant and put an arm about my mother's shoulders.

"Sorry, Mrs Jenkins. I got locked out last night and it was raining. Ally here put me up for the night. It was too cold for the floor."  
"We have plenty of blankets in the airing cupboard, Ally and you know it." My Mother said firmly, but I could tell already she was starting to soften. She'd always liked Mark and when he turned on the charm, she was like putty in his hands.

"Yeah, and I said we should go get some but Ally didn't wanna wake you, said you had to be up early. You off to work? "

"Yes, I am." She relaxed and shook her head slightly "Next time Mark, the couch will be fine."

"Sure thing, Mrs Jenkins." Mark flashed her the same smile he always used to get himself out of trouble. "Hey, is that coffee?" He added hopefully.

Mom gave him a look that read _'Are you kidding me?'_ but after meeting his yellow eyes with her dark ones, she held the cup out with a sigh.

"Right, well I'm off. Ally, there's cash on the table, and Mark, stay out of the bed!"

Turning on her heel, I couldn't believe that was all she had said. I was fifteen years old and asleep with a guy in my bed. She should still be going ballistic.

He was still shirtless, his golden hair a mess as he slurped down Mom's coffee. I was pretty sure if it had been anyone but him she would have marched me to the nearest convent, and thrown the guy out on his ear, but Mark was different. He could get away with anything.


	5. The Date From Hell

**Chapter Four**

We never really discussed that rainy night again. The next time he saw me Mark punched me in the arm like nothing had happened. We were friends, just like we'd always been.

It was a couple of months later that he came up the porch with his hands mysteriously hidden behind his back.

I had been sitting on the old swing, watching some kids toss a football between them across the street.

"Howdy neighbour." Mark tipped me a wink and produced a box of chocolates from behind his back.

"What do you want and where'd you steal these from?" I asked, eyeing him warily.

Mark placed a hand dramatically over his heart.

"Well, first of all, I'm hurt and second, I thought about paying but the line was too long."

He tossed the chocolates into my lap and gave me a smile.

"What do you want, Mark?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat and lit one up, before sinking down on the bench beside me. It creaked horribly as he did so.

"Jesus, it sounds worse than usual," he said, moving the swing experimentally to make it creak again.

"We never oil it." I shrugged indifferently "No man about the house."

"How about I fix it for you?" He gave me a big smile and I sat up, narrowing my eyes.

"Alright, Jennings. Out with it. What'd you want?"

"What are you doing Saturday night?".

I looked at him with interest. He was turning up with chocolates and asking me what I was doing Saturday night?

"Nothing, I guess. Why?" I said as calmly as I could, even though my heart was pounding.

"Fancy going to the movies?"

I stared at him wide-eyed.

"You mean-like on a date?"

"A double date," Mark said. I felt my heart sink.

"Who with?" I asked, but I had a pretty good idea what his answer would be.

Mark took a long drag on his cigarette.

"Bryon and Angela."

Bryon had been dating Angela Shepard for about a month now. She was the kid sister of Tim Shepard, who was a local gang leader with quite a reputation. They had another brother, Curly, who was well known too, but mostly for being kind of an ass. Angela was known locally as a bitch. She was tough as nails, drank like a guy and was well known for the cat fights she would usually start when she was drinking. So why was Bryon dating her? Because she looked like a super model, of course.

"Sorry, I just remembered I gotta wash my hair Saturday." I snorted with a half laugh. Mark or no Mark, I couldn't think of any other two people I wanted to spend time with less, than Bryon Douglas and Angela Shepard.

"Ah Ally," Mark wheedled, slipping an arm about my shoulders and pulling me back on the swing with him. "You gotta come. I can't face it otherwise."

He turned his head towards me and ran his free hand down my arm. I wondered if he knew the effect he was having on my insides.

"Face what?" I breathed, looking deep into his golden eyes.

"Angela." Mark sighed "I can't stand the chick but Bryon's really into her. He wants me to 'get to know her better', but I think that came out of her mouth, not his."

"So what do you need me for?" I asked, a little icily now. Here I was thinking he was asking me out when really he was just doing Bryon a favour.

"Well, Bryon asked me to double date with them. I can't bring a real date out with Angela. You know what she's like, she scares the living crap out of girls. But if I don't come up with someone fast, I'll end up with one of Angela's minions."

"A real date, huh?" I snapped, pushing his arm away roughly "As oppose to me, that is?"

Mark grinned playfully and gave me a gentle shove.

"Come on, you know what I mean. It's just I can tell you the real reason I'm going and you don't scare too easily."

"Uh huh," I said, looking down at the chocolates in my lap and cursing him under my breath.

"I'll buy popcorn..." He coaxed, grabbing my hand and pulling me close again.

"You mean, actually pay for it?" I questioned. Mark had a bad habit of taking things that didn't belong to him.

"Yeah, course pay for it," he said in surprise. "Not even I can steal movie popcorn from behind the counter."

"'Cause otherwise you would, right?" I teased. I allowed him to pull my head onto his shoulder and waited for him to deny it.

"Damn straight," he said, and without looking up, I knew he was smiling.

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"Jesus, of all the chicks you could have taken out." I heard Bryon mutter to Mark as we stood in line for food at the movie house.

"Cut it out," Mark told him firmly.

I refrained from rolling my eyes and looked over at Angela. She was dressed in a short tight skirt and a top that left nothing to the imagination. She had Bryon's leather jacket round her shoulders and her long dark curls fell loosely around her heart shaped face. She was teetering on six inch heels. Despite my distaste for her attire, I had to admit, she was beautiful.

I looked down at my own outfit, jeans and a sweater. Mom had convinced me the night before that I should wear boots instead of sneakers and I had reluctantly agreed. If Mom had her way entirely, I'd have been in a dress with a ribbon in my hair but I guess she knew how far she could push her luck.

"Movie looks good," I said conversationally to Angela.

She looked bored as she answered me.

"Seen it three times this month."

"Yeah?" I asked with enthusiasm. I loved a decent movie. "Any good?"

"I dunno. Me and Bryon didn't spend much time watching," she said, as though I were stupid. She opened her purse and pulled out a small bottle of vodka, gulping it down neat. She offered me some as an afterthought, and laughed when I shook my head.

Just then, Mark turned around from the counter.

"What'd you want Ally?"

"Just a coke, please." I said, stepping closer to him and wishing I had never agreed to come.

"You want popcorn?" He asked, fishing in his pocket for some cash.

"I'll just share yours," I said easily.

From the other side of Mark, Bryon turned back to Angela.

"You want a coke, Angel?" He asked.

"Yeah, large," she said immediately "I'm starved, get me a hot dog and some fries. Oh and see if they have fizzy cola bottles, I love those."

I raised my eyebrows at Mark, who was trying to keep from laughing.

"You should see at her at the liquor store," he muttered to me.

I couldn't help but giggle. Bryon was this tall, broad tough guy but Angela Shepard had him right where she wanted him.

Bryon repeated her order to the guy behind the counter and then started counting his change out. He frowned as he pulled out the last of it and turned to Mark.

"You got a couple of bucks, Mark?" He whispered "She's costing me a fortune."

Mark dug around in his jeans and passed Bryon three dollars.

"Costing US a fortune, don't you mean?"

Bryon only smiled.

Once Mark and I sat down, Angela made a point of climbing over me to sit with Mark. Bryon jumped over from the row behind us to sit on the other side of her.

"So, Mark, we finally get to hang out." She smiled her femme fatale smile at him and I suddenly hated her. She had Bryon, what did she want with Mark?

"Any excuse to sit in the dark with Ally," Mark answered smoothly, draping his arm across my chair. I could tell he knew Angela was flirting with him and that was his way of telling her to back off. Bryon either didn't see it or pretended not to notice.

Angela looked from Mark to me in confusion. I knew what she was thinking. Why was the beautiful, tough Mark associating with some Plain- Jane –Goody-Two -Shoes like me?

"So how'd you two know each other?" She asked.

I heard Bryon sigh heavily from the other side of her.

"I live next door." I said, seeing Mark had grown tired with the conversation.

"Ohhhh..." Angela smirked knowingly "Girl next door, huh?"

I knew exactly what she meant by that. Only that kind of circumstance could have thrown us together. I was just about to snap back a reply when Mark elbowed her.

"Sshh...the movie's starting."

Angela folded her arms sulkily but as soon as the lights went down her and Bryon started necking like it was going out of fashion.

I stole a look at Mark. He had his eyes on the screen but his hand had fallen lazily over my shoulders. He had been pretty touchy feely that night but with Mark, it was hard to read anything into it. His actions were so laid back and at ease, that you couldn't derive any real meaning from them. Besides, I had a feeling that he was putting on an act to keep Angela at bay.

We both stayed relatively quiet throughout the movie and tried to ignore the fact that Bryon had his hands under Angela's top for most of it.

I was relieved when the movie came to an end and we all traipsed outside.

"So, shall we go get something to eat?" Angela said brightly as we stood outside the movie house.

I stared at her in disbelief. She'd sent Bryon back to the food counter twice after she'd devoured the first load he'd bought her and she'd washed it down with the large coke and the bottle of vodka she had in her purse. How could she still be hungry? I wondered how the hell she stayed so thin.

"I'm not hungry," Mark said, lighting up a cigarette. "I'm gonna walk Ally home. "

Angela turned her big blue eyes on Mark who stared back at her blankly.

"Aw come on, you guys, it's early..." She pouted. "Let's go to the Dingo."

Realising her puppy eyes weren't working on Mark, she turned to Bryon. Bryon took one look at her and slapped Mark on the back.

"Come on, Buddy, it's only ten o clock." A silent message seemed to pass between them.

Mark took a drag on his cigarette and looked hesitantly at me. I hoped he'd read the look in my eyes that read '_Take me home'_ but if he did, he ignored it.

"I guess another hour wouldn't kill us."

I glared at him. I wasn't so sure about that.

Bryon caught Mark's arm and pulled him up ahead in front of us. I just managed to hear him say:

"You couldn't loan us another couple of bucks could ya, pal?"

I watched as Mark shook his head in disbelief and handed Bryon some money. I wondered suddenly where he was getting his cash from.

The Dingo was as crowded as it usually was on a Saturday night and the waitress shook her head at us regretfully as we scanned the room.

"Nothing doing, I'm afraid," she said, chewing her gum as she passed us by. "Seats at the counter if you wanna wait for a table."

We walked towards the counter but Mark broke away, heading for a corner booth filled with guys. I recognised some of them from our neighbourhood. They had almost finished eating by the looks of things.

I watched as Mark slid into the end of their booth and started talking to them. He gestured to the counter where we sat waiting and they all looked over curiously. A few of them nodded or raised their hand in greeting to Bryon. After that, they all started finishing up their cokes and pulling their jackets on. As they made for the door, I could swear some of them were smirking luridly in my direction. Puzzled, I followed Angela and Bryon over to the now empty booth Mark was standing over.

"What happened to them?" Bryon asked. "Someone leave the oven on?"

"Something like that." Mark grinned.

I slid into the booth and he followed. Bryon and Angela sat down opposite us.

"Seriously," I said, turning to face Mark. "What'd you say to them?"

"You won't like it." He laughed.

"Come on, what did you say?"

"Well..."Mark leaned over the table so we could all hear "I said that I had been trying to close the deal with this chick, Ally here, for six months, and if this evening went relatively smoothly, I reckoned tonight was the night. So could they do a guy a favour and let me have the booth since they were nearly done anyhow. I promised they could have all the gory details when I see 'em next."

"Mark!" I complained, hitting him across the arm. "No wonder they were looking at me so funny!"

Bryon and Angela threw back their heads and laughed.

"Ah come on, I made you sound real classy." Mark laughingly fended off my attack. "Six months and still waiting."

"You jerk," I muttered as the waitress came over. I wasn't that mad. Mark made it hard to stay angry at him.

"There's a line for the tables," she said not that enthusiastically "The couple at the counter have been waiting longer than you."

"You snooze, you lose." Bryon grunted as we all shot a look back at the counter. The girl there didn't look happy but the big guy she was sitting with, looked positively pissed. He glared over at us meaningfully and Bryon waved.

"I should give them the table really," the waitress started hesitantly.

Mark fixed her with an innocent smile, sidling towards her from his seat in the booth.

"Listen, uh...Sadie," he read her name tag. "The guys in this booth were friends of ours. We were supposed to be eating together, we just got here late. Those two at the counter would have done the same in our position. Besides, there's only two of them. They got a better chance of getting a table than we have."

She looked at him for a moment, considering this, before pulling out a pad and pen and drawling:

"Alright Mr Smooth, what'll it be?"

Mark ordered us all burgers and fries while the guy at the counter scowled at us. When the waitress was gone, Mark said:

"I gotta take a leak, back in a minute."

Bryon and Angela started making out in front of me like I wasn't there. I looked dully round the Dingo before locking eyes with someone I didn't particularly want to. Curly Shepard. He came strolling over with his cock sure smile and slid into Mark's vacated seat.

"Elly, right?" He asked, leaning closer to me. He stank of beer and I edged away from him.

"Ally," I said uncomfortably.

"Sure," he answered, leaning back and smiling. He looked across the booth, suddenly noticing Bryon and Angela who hadn't come up for air. "Jesus, Douglas, you have to mack on my sister in front of me like that?"

Angela pulled away as she recognised Curly's voice, glaring at him in annoyance.

"Get lost, Curly. What'd you want?" She snapped.

"I just came over to say hello." Curly raised his eyebrows at me and then nodded at Bryon. "You gonna buy us a coke then seeing as we're practically family?"

"Hey, I already got my hands full paying for one Shepard," Bryon complained, jerking a thumb at Angela.

"Hey, shut up," she retorted hotly, reaching up to tidy her hair.

I felt the hairs go up on the back of my neck as Curly moved closer to me. He was giving me his dumb trademark smile and I felt like telling him to go to hell.

"So Elly," he started, edging over in the seat.

"Ally," I corrected darkly.

"Oh yeah." He laughed. "Are you Jennings girl?"

"No," Angela and Bryon scoffed in unison.

"She lives next door," Bryon said hurriedly, looking up as our cokes arrived.

"So you ain't nobody's girl?" He asked, his eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree.

As soon as the waitress set down Mark's coke, Curly reached out for it greedily. He was just about to take a sip when a hand clamped down on his arm.

"Keep your greasy lips offa my coke, Shepard." Mark looked none too pleased to find him in his seat. "And while you're at, keep your mitts offa Ally too."

Curly looked smug.

"Way I hear it, she's not your girl to be protecting," he said, trying to put his arm round me. I moved as far away as I could, practically hugging the wall to avoid his embrace.

Mark drew himself to his full height, staring down Curly with his dangerous golden eyes.

"Way I see it, if she's on a date with me, no guy, least of all you, is gonna be hitting on her. You dig?"

Curly slid out of the booth and stood up. He was both taller and heavier than Mark but Mark had presence, something Curly would never have.

Bryon who had been looking bored at the conversation, suddenly straightened up.

"You mess with him, Curly, and when he's finished with you, it's my turn." His voice was deadly cold and I wondered if Angela was gonna defend her brother. She didn't say a word.

Curly looked from Bryon to Mark and shrugged.

"What's the world coming to?" He muttered "You can't even hit on the single chicks."

With that, he sauntered away.

"Sorry about him." Angela said to Mark as we watched Curly leave "He's never had any taste when it comes to girls. No offence, Ally."

"Gee thanks, none taken," I muttered.

Mark sat down and looked at Angela coolly. He looked as though he were going to say something, but he bit back the remark and took a sip of his coke instead.

Having had enough, I pushed my coke aside and stood up.

"I'm outta here," I said. "'Scuse me, Mark."

Mark looked up at me in surprise.

"We haven't eaten yet."

"Yeah well, I'm not hungry." I said moodily, not waiting for him to move, just squeezing past his legs. I didn't give anybody a chance to say anything else. I just strode across the diner and pushed my way outside.

I was halfway across the parking lot when I realised someone was shouting my name.

"Ally! Hey Ally, wait up!"

I turned round to see Mark jogging towards me. I stopped, still fuming, and waited for him to catch up.

"What?" I snapped.

"Whoah!" He held his hands up in peace "What's with you?"

"What do you think?" I asked incredulously "This whole night has been a freaking nightmare from start to end! What was I here for, the entertainment? So you and Bryon could listen to Angela rip me to pieces all night?"

Mark put his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

"Hey, come on, I know she's a jerk, I thought you did too," he said calmly. "The only reason I didn't let her have it for that last comment was Bryon. He already thinks I don't like her."

I pursed my lips, and avoided eye contact, still mad at him for not defending me. I was doing him the favour after all by going on the date from hell.

"Come on, come back in and we'll eat," he pleaded "I'll take you home straight after."

"I would rather stick pins in my eyes," I growled, shrugging off his arms and heading in the direction of home. The guys who had given us their booth were sitting on the bonnet of a car about ten feet away. They watched as Mark hurried after me, trying to catch my arm.

"Still no luck, Jennings?" One of them called.

"Give it up." Another shouted after us. "After six months, she's a definite lesbian!"

"What?" I spun on my heel and stared at the guy who had said it.

Mark was trying to keep from laughing.

"Ah come on, baby," he said loudly, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You don't know what you're missing."

I stared at him furiously. Did he think this was funny?_ I'll give you funny_, I thought.

Stepping away, I pulled back my arm and delivered a stinging slap to his cheek. The guys on the car 'oohed' and 'aahed' as I marched off into the night.

Not being able to resist, I took one look back at Mark who was now standing stock still, fists clenched. His golden eyes were smouldering under the lights of the parking lot. He didn't look like he was joking anymore and suddenly, I was sorry.


	6. Confessions

**Chapter Five**

I didn't see Mark for the rest of the weekend. I got the feeling he was avoiding me and it stung. Why had I slapped him? It was Angela who had deserved that, not Mark.

At school on Monday I arrived at English class a few minutes early. As luck, or bad luck, would have it, Bryon was already there. I didn't see him until I was already in the classroom and it was too late. He looked up and scowled at me as I sat down.

"Hey, Rambo," he said sarcastically.

I kept my head down and opened my English book. We were reading 'Far from the Madding Crowd' that semester, a novel I'd already read twice before.

I tried to shut him out. I knew I had done wrong but no way was Bryon Douglas going to reprimand me for it. Not after his girlfriend's behaviour Saturday night.

He was quiet for a while as he watched me, waiting for an answer. When I didn't give him one he said;

"If you were a guy, I'd knock your head off, you know that?"

"If I were a guy," I said, turning round in my seat to face him, "I'd have beat you to a pulp a long time ago."

Bryon scoffed at this but he wasn't done yet.

"You know the last time a girl hit Mark, she ended up down at the emergency room."

"Mark wouldn't hit a girl," I said in a bored voice, thinking that this was a pathetic attempt to scare me.

"No, he gave Donna Bailey five bucks to do it," Bryon snapped back.

That struck a chord. I vaguely remembered a huge fight in the school cafeteria where Donna Bailey had ended up kicking the living daylights out of a tall redhead girl. Come to think of it, I also remembered Mark climbing on a table to get a better look. I remembered the night his parents were killed and how indifferent he'd been about it. I had to remind myself that as much as I liked Mark, as much as everyone did, he was dangerous.

Bryon must have seen by my face that I believed him because he took this as his cue to carry on.

"I told him all day yesterday to call Donna up but lucky for you, he wouldn't listen. Pull a stunt like that again though, Jenkins, and I'll put up the cash myself."

Angered more than worried by his threat, I tilted my chin defiantly.

"Where the hell are you gonna get five bucks when you're dating Angela Shepard?" I shot back meaningfully.

Bryon's eyes widened but he was saved from answering by Mr Colton coming into the room.

"Miss Jenkins, Mr Douglas," he said with a slight smile. "How nice to see you both so early."

As the class started to fill up with students, I heard Bryon muttering something about me being a wise ass. I focused on the class and tried to ignore him.

At lunch time, I sat at a corner table eating a sandwich. There were a few girls from my neighbourhood sitting with me- Barbie, Ellen and Darcy. I was friendly with them but I didn't really hang out with them after school since all they seemed to do was get drunk and pick up guys. Neither of those activities were my bag so I pretty much tried to steer clear.

"Hey, did you see that hunk, Steve, over at the gas station? He was definitely giving me the eye." said Barbara, as she wolfed down a burger in a totally unladylike manner. Barbara, better known as Barbie, lived up to her name. Long blond hair and big blue eyes, she was about six foot tall, taller than a lot of our guys in our class. The only thing that let down her almost perfect appearance was a slightly crooked nose that had been broken by her younger brother in elementary school and had never quite set properly.

Across from her, her friend Ellen rolled her grey eyes. I liked Ellen best out of the girls. She was the most down to earth.

"Steve's not into you." She shook her head matter of factly "He's dating that brunette, the pretty one that's always hanging round there. They've been going steady forever."

"Evie," Darcy put in from beside me "I'd steer clear if I was you, Barb. I heard she's a pretty mean fighter. Besides, everyone knows Soda's the real hunk at the DX."

Darcy was dark and wore glasses. She was kind of bookish looking but this couldn't be further from the truth. She was known to have a wild streak a mile long.

The names the girls were mentioning vaguely rang a bell. I knew that Soda had a younger brother, Ponyboy, who was in a couple of my classes. He'd been caught up in some kinda murder rap a while ago but I could never quite understand that. He didn't look like the troublemaking type, he was sweet looking and dreamy. He hung out with Mark and his friend Terry sometimes.

_Mark_, I was reminded of miserably as I went over the events of Saturday night. We'd never had a real fight before and the thought was killing me.

As if summoned, at that moment Mark, Bryon and Terry came into the cafeteria. They were laughing and joking and it looked as if Mark wasn't giving our fight a second thought. Bryon and Terry went up for food, leaving Mark to look for a table. As his eyes scanned the cafeteria, we locked gazes for a second, only for him to turn away and grab a seat near the other side of the room. My heart sank into my shoes as I watched him sit down and start talking to some girls. The girls started giggling loudly and I thought unhappily how good Mark looked. Even in just a T-shirt and jeans.

I tried to tune back into the conversation the girls were having. It was something to do with a party Darcy was throwing.

"So Mom's not back until Monday," Darcy was saying "Which gives me all of Sunday to get the place straightened up before she gets back."

I thought she was nuts. My Mom was rarely home but no way would I throw a party at my house. Unsupervised parties in our neighbourhood normally ended up with the house getting trashed or the cops getting called. If it was a particularly good party, usually both happened.

"So you gonna come, Ally?" Darcy offered "Everybody's gonna be there. My cousin said she's even gonna ask Tim Shepard.

I stifled a groan. If I never heard the name Shepard as long as I lived, that'd be just fine.

"Tim Shepard!" Barbie gasped, clapping a perfectly manicured hand over "Are they still dating?"  
"I dunno." Darcy shrugged "I think she knows that Tim isn't a one girl kinda guy."

I didn't bank on Tim turning up. Why would he be seen at a party thrown by sophomores?

"So, Ally?" Darcy turned her attention back to me.

"I don't think so." I smiled politely "But thanks."

Barbie, Ellen and Darcy groaned in unison.

"Ally, you never come to my parties." Darcy pouted.

"All you ever do is sit on your damn porch and read," Barbie agreed.

"No I don't." I shrugged, and took a sip of my water. "I think out there too, and I watch the world go by. Sometimes I even go inside and watch a little television."

They all looked at me a while longer, Darcy and Barbie shaking their heads in disapproval. Ellen managed a smile. I told you I liked her best.

The following Saturday I stood outside Darcy's house, wondering nervously if I was acting crazy. I had had no intention on Monday of being there but after the week I'd had, I was determined to let my hair down a little.

Mark had ignored me all week. He hadn't said a word to me at school or dropped by at the house. I saw him a few more times at school and a few times walking past my place with Bryon but he didn't even make eye contact. Bryon made enough for the both of them, smiling smugly as Mark ignored me.

After another miserable day, I had come to the conclusion on Saturday night that I was gonna hang with Darcy, Barbie and Ellen. They always made an effort to include me which was more than I could say for Mark, and I guess I had snubbed them repeatedly. Tonight though, I would make up for it.

I could hear the music pumping from the moment I had set foot on Darcy's street and now outside her front door, the noise was deafening. I banged for someone to open it but after no answer I let myself in.

Darcy's Mom was a cashier at the local supermarket and her Dad was in construction, working in Texas. She told me once that he worked so far because it was either that or divorce her Mom. When he used to live there full time, they'd had fights that had rivalled Mark's parents. That weekend, Darcy's Mom and baby sister were visiting her Dad in Texas. Darcy had got out of the trip by convincing her Mom she had to work on a group project for school.

At eight o clock the party was already jumping, filled with kids from school. The place stank of marijuana and almost everybody had a beer in their hand.

Darcy spotted me and her face lit up in pleasant surprise. She was coated in makeup and wore a tiny dress that emphasised her ample cleavage.

I suddenly felt plain and boyish. I had borrowed a skirt and heels from my Mom, and even put on some pink lipstick, thinking I was really pushing the boat out. Looking round at the other girls though, I realised my skirt was much longer than the general consensus and I may as well have not had any make up on in comparison to these girls.

Darcy pushed her way over and gave me a big hug, already slightly tipsy.

"Ally, you made it!"

"Yeah." I said uncertainly, passing her a bottle of wine I had stolen from Mom. I didn't drink but I figured the polite thing to do was turn up with something.

"Hey, come here. Barb and El are gonna flip when they see you here." Darcy linked her arm through mine and pulled me towards her kitchen. The sides were littered with booze and Ellen and Barbie were drinking out of paper cups and giggling with a group of guys.

"Ally!" They both squealed upon seeing me.

"No way!" Ellen said happily. I smiled at them both and accepted the drink that Barbie held out to me, just to be polite. I didn't have to drink it, I decided, just play along, but after a few minutes of chatter, Darcy had opened the wine I'd given her and was refilling everybody's cups. She frowned at my still full one.

"Come on, drink up," she said impatiently.

"Yeah, " said some guy, leaning against the sink "You've got catching up to do."

Everybody seemed to be looking at me so I quickly threw back the drink. I had no idea what it was but it burnt my throat on the way down. The wine that I was poured seemed a soothing alternative and after the first cup, I didn't really object to Darcy pouring me a second.

"So is Tim coming?" Barbie asked a little while later.

"No." Darcy grumbled "Cassie said he didn't want hang out with a bunch of little kids. She hasn't showed either, the dumb blond."

"Hey!" Barbie interjected. Darcy grinned at her and stuck out her tongue.

"Did someone say dumb blond?"

I turned round to see a guy with reddish brown hair and green eyes grinning and raising his eyebrows suggestively at Barbie.

"Two-bit!" Darcy yelled drunkenly, flinging her arms round him.

'Two-bit' swung her round dramatically, knocking into a few people as he did so.

"What's shakin, Darc?" He said, setting her down on the floor and reaching for a beer.

As he cracked it open, he winked at Ellen but his eyes lingered on Barbie.

"You're looking hot, Barbs." He approved, looking her up and down. "You missed me?"

"Like a hole in the head," she muttered.

I started to laugh out loud. I don't know if it was the drink but the stupid way the guy was grinning despite Barbie's put down was suddenly hilarious.

"And who might this pretty little thing be?" Two-Bit turned his attention to me and I smiled at him. Ordinarily a line like that would have sent me running for the hills but from this guy it seemed like harmless banter.

"I'm Ally," I said, putting out my hand and marvelling at how confident I felt. So this was why people got drunk. I usually hated party environments but I was actually having a really good time.

Two-Bit took my hand and kissed it.

"Charmed," he said.

"Ew, don't let him do that, Ally." Barbie said disgustedly "He doesn't need any encouragement, trust me."

Two-bit laughed good naturedly before backing towards the kitchen door to the backyard, where the party was starting to spill.

"I'll come find ya later, Barbie," he called back to her. "You can count on it."

Darcy, Ellen and I cracked up laughing as he turned and walked straight into some guy, who spilt his beer all over Two-Bit's shirt.

Two-Bit looked down at his shirt and then up at the guy.

"Glory, don't waste it," he said in concern, wiping off his shirt before slipping off into the dark yard.

"Who's he?" I turned to Darcy, laughing and she smiled.

"Two-Bit Mathews." She said in surprise "Don't tell me you haven't heard of Two-Bit."

I shrugged, a little embarrassed. I was starting to realise I buried my head in my books more than I realised.

After a while, Darcy, Ellen and Barbie wanted to dance. I was a lousy dancer so I hopped onto the kitchen counter and poured myself another drink, motioning for them to go without me.

My timing was terrible.

"Elly!" Curly Shepard appeared from nowhere and with me on the counter surface he grabbed the opportunity to back me up against the wall units, his hands circling my waist. He was smiling like we were old friends.

"It's Ally, you dope." I laughed, trying to push him off, while holding onto my drink. The alcohol was making me a little light headed though and as my hand slid off his arm, I teetered slightly. Curly caught my arm again and pushed me upright.

"Are you drunk?" He asked grinning from ear to ear.

"A little," I answered unsteadily. I was suddenly glad he was there and leaned into him, letting my body relax.

"Is it true you punched out Jennings last Saturday?" Curly asked in fascination. "Somebody said you floored him in the Dingo parking lot."

I rolled my eyes. Chinese whispers.

"No." I told him. "It was more like a slap and he didn't even flinch."

"Oh." Curly looked disappointed for a second but then he shrugged "Still took guts. Remember when Natalie Arrow hit him with that umbrella? He paid Donna Bailey to put her in hospital."

"Yeah," I said defiantly "So what?"

Curly pulled me closer towards him.

"I like a girl with spunk," he said.

I suddenly realised my cup was empty and leant back to peer inside it curiously. When had that happened? Curly caught my look, took the cup from me and said;

"Wait here. I'll get you another."

He was back shortly with my cup filled and a beer for himself.

"Cheers," he said holding up the beer can. I touched it with my cup feebly and started to drink. Curly started talking about a car his brother was gonna help him fix up and I nodded agreeably. For the first time all week, I had forgotten all about Mark and the feeling that something was missing was gone.

Ellen and Darcy came back a little while later and since Darcy's cousin was dating Curly's brother Tim, the two of them started to bitch about their relatives.

Ellen gave me a smile.

"You into Curly?" She whispered to me "He's kinda cute."

I looked at Curly again. Cute? Was he? I had always thought he only got dates on his brother's reputation but now I thought about it, his chocolate brown curls that had earned him his nickname did bring out his light brown eyes. He had a good build too.

"You guys coming outside?" Darcy broke into my thoughts as she nodded at me and Ellen "It's getting awful hot in here."

The house was packed and with all the dancing and smoking, it_ had_ become hot. I felt pretty drunk so I thought some fresh air would be a good idea.

"Sure," I agreed, hopping down from the counter but not realising I had very little control over my body. I fell into Ellen and would have fallen right down if Curly hadn't caught me.

He propped me up and wrapped an arm round me.

"Easy, Elly," he said, guiding me to the back door.

I didn't bother to tell him my name was in fact, Ally. All of a sudden, it didn't seem to be that much of a big deal. There was an old bench someway out in Darcy's back yard where a couple were making out. Darcy shooed them away so we could sit down.

"Ally, you are wiped out!" She laughed as I fell heavily onto the bench. Curly sat down beside me and Ellen sat on his other side as Darcy stood, smoking a cigarette.

The fresh air felt good on my warm face. I leant sleepily against Curly and must have drifted off.

I was dreaming that Mark was kissing me, with warm lips and gentle hands. Every now and then, he'd pull back and look at me with his gorgeous golden eyes as though he had to check it was real. I started to come round to realise someone WAS actually kissing me, but they tasted an awful lot like beer and their hands were under the back of my shirt. I opened my eyes to find that the backyard was almost deserted and Ellen and Darcy were gone. I was still sitting on the bench and Curly was kissing me.

Still drunk, I let him for a while. When you got used to the taste of beer, it wasn't so bad and besides, his embrace felt strong and safe when the world seemed kinda shaky. I slowly opened my eyes and all of a sudden, I didn't feel so good. I didn't know why I was at this party and why I was drinking. Curly broke away from me and looked into my eyes.

"You wanna go upstairs?" He whispered huskily.

"No." The world became woozy as I straightened out. "I want to go home."

Curly looked at me thoughtfully for a minute before saying;

"What'll your folks say about you turning up wasted?"

"No one's home," I managed to say. I was starting to feel really awful and could think of nothing I wanted more than to be in my own bed.

A slow smile spread across Curly's face.

"You live next to Douglas, right? Couple of streets away? Come on, I'll take you home."

He started to lift me into a standing position and from there, I don't remember much else.

88888

"Ugh, I'm gonna be sick." I groaned, clutching my stomach and leaning over the side of the bed. There was a waiting bucket that usually held the detergents from under the sink. I grabbed it and heaved heavily inside.

I was home, in my own room, I knew that much. The room was dark and a male figure was standing in front of the window, smoking a cigarette. My vision was kinda hazy and the room was spinning slowly. Who the hell was in my room with me and why was I just in my underwear? As the nights events started coming back to me, I closed my eyes awash with shame. I had been drunk and Curly was going to take me home. That was all I could remember.

_Please God, _I prayed. _Don't let me have lost my virginity to Curly Shepard._

I guessed there was nothing to do but ask him. Eyes still closed, I called carefully;

"Curly?"

There was no answer.

"Curly?" I asked again.

When there was again no reply, I opened my eyes. The figure was smoking furiously. I started to think he was a little lean to be Curly. Jesus, who had I brought home with me?

"Who's there?" I asked, suddenly terrified.

"It's me, you idiot." A familiar voice snapped.

"Mark?" I gasped in surprise.

He strode over to the bed and looked down at me angrily. In the semi darkness I could just make out his perfect features. What the hell had happened?

"What's going on? I feel awful," I moaned, pressing my face into the pillow.

"Serves you right," he snapped. "Do you know that Curly took you home to an empty house while you were unconscious?"

I suddenly felt very exposed and drew the covers round me protectively. It wasn't Mark that scared me but the thought of what might have happened with Curly.

"Did we..." I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. It was just too horrible to consider.

"Lucky for you, I was leaving my place when I saw him dragging you up the front steps." Mark sounded really mad but I was just too relieved to care. I hadn't slept with Curly. _Thank you, God._

I sat up as another wave of nausea swept through me. Mark passed me the bucket before going to the window and throwing his lit cigarette outside. He then stood watching as I heaved.

"Don't look," I muttered between wretches.

"It's a bit late for that," he replied grumpily.

When I was done, I felt a little better.

"Can you-can you get rid of it?" I asked in a small voice. The bucket was right under my nose and the smell of the vomit was awful.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Mark demanded in annoyance.

"Please, Mark," I pleaded, my voice a little slurred.

Mark stood there for a moment before he sighed and then picked up the bucket. He disappeared from the room but was back a couple of minutes later.

"I bagged it up and put it in the garbage outside" He told me quietly "Bucket and all, I aint dealing with no puke."

His voice was still angry but I had so many blanks that needed filling, it was the least of my worries.

"Where are my clothes?" I asked timidly. I hated the vulnerability in my voice but having drawn a four hour blank, I had never felt so helpless. So Curly had tried to take me home and Mark had intercepted him out front. That still didn't account for me being in my bra and knickers.

"I had to take 'em off 'cause you puked all over yourself," Mark responded without emotion. I felt myself blush with shame and at the same time thanked god that I was wearing my good underwear.

"I'm outta here," he said finally, making to leave.

I felt panic thunder through me. I felt hideous and I didn't want to be alone but did I have the right to ask anything of him when we were barely talking? He was almost at the door when I called out.

"Please don't leave me."

He stood in the doorway before finally spinning round and yelling:

"For Christ's sake, Ally, whaddya want from me?"

I was taken aback by his anger. The volume of it made my head hurt. The way he shouted at me made my heart hurt. Like a pathetic girl, I started to cry.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," I sobbed.

Mark was standing stock still, his dark silhouette framed by the doorway but as I started to cry, I saw his figure relax. He came into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. I put my hand on his leg by way of apology. Mark still didn't say anything.

"Hey, did you hear me?" I mumbled, giving him a gentle shake. "I'm sorry."

He looked down at me and said quietly.

"I don't like anybody hurting me."

It was then I realised why he'd got so mad. His parents had knocked him about relentlessly when they were alive but once they were dead, he could get even with anyone who tried to do the same. With me, he couldn't get even. With me, there was nothing he could do and he was as helpless as he had been when his parents were alive.

"I'm really sorry, Mark," I said again. My voice sounded awful hoarse and I realised I must still be drunk some.

"Ally, why'd you get so drunk? If I hadn't spotted you and Curly, Lord knows what he would have done to you."

I shrugged. I vaguely remembered that I had thought Curly was cute just a few short hours ago. Jesus, I must have been totally wasted.

"Ally, answer me dammit!" Mark shouted. "Guys like Curly Shepard don't mess around. Why were you drinking?"

"'Cause of you!" I yelled back, my voice breaking "Cause you used me last Saturday and you let Bryon and Angela treat me like crap. Then you ignored me all week. You know how I feel about you, I know you know, but you pretend you don't. Why's that Mark? Why don't you just say it out loud to my face, instead of stringing me along with your stupid kisses and your dumb hugs-"

"Kisses?" Mark sounded baffled, totally thrown by my reaction. I was starting to feel foolish. Why had I said that? Stupid alcohol.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "On the porch, when we were twelve. You kissed me."

Mark stayed quiet and I assumed he was trying to remember a forgotten memory that had meant the world to me.

"I'm not stringing you along," he said softly.

I started to cry at my own stupidity. How could I have said that all out loud? I'd bottled it up for my entire childhood and after one drunken night it was all out in the open. I had ruined our friendship forever.

"Don't cry, Ally, please." Mark touched my face gently but I shied away as though his hand were on fire. How stupid had I been all this time, thinking one day he'd kiss me for real, that we'd go on a proper date and be a proper couple? I was the Plain Jane from next door, nothing else. He probably looked at me as though he would a kid sister.

"Ally, you're just drunk," he said softly, gathering me up in his arms and hugging me a while. I tried to struggle but his touch melted me and I fell against him, sobbing heavily. He stroked my hair until I quietened down a little.

"I love you," I blurted out hysterically. "I've loved you since we were eight years old."

His movements ceased a while before he went back to stroking my hair.

"You're just drunk," he repeated, holding me to his chest.

"Yeah," I agreed readily, pulling away suddenly to look up at him. "I'm drunk and I feel like the world's biggest idiot, but I need you to answer me."

He sighed and looked down at me with empty eyes.

"What do you want me to say?"

He wasn't going to give anything away and the knowledge of how stupid I would feel tomorrow started to dawn on me. I started to cry again.

"Aw, Ally, don't start bawling again. Please..." Mark hugged me tighter but this made me cry all the more.

"Alright, alright!" He relented, letting me go and standing up. He leant on the window ledge and lit up another cigarette. I heard him curse under his breath.

I wiped away my tears and rolled onto my side so I could see him better. I wish I wasn't feeling so lousy so I could get out of bed.

I watched as he pushed the curtains impatiently out of his way. With this done, the moonlight threw an eerie glow on him. With his golden hair and eyes he seemed almost ethereal.

"I don't do love," he said simply. "I just don't have it in me."

He sounded so calm as he stared out into the dark night. He was usually so full of charm but there were moments when he seemed so empty.

"But-" I persisted desperately,"we haven't even given it a chance. You could try-"

"Yeah-" he interrupted quickly. "I could try. Just not with you."

My heart sank and it felt as though a hundred knives were piercing through it.

"Oh." _'Don't cry anymore, you wuss', _I told myself firmly.

I'd wanted him to be honest and he had. I had asked for it.

"No, not like that," he said and he raised his head towards me. "I don't wanna hurt you, Ally."

It was all too much for me to comprehend. Didn't he realise by keeping his distance he was hurting me anyway? I ached every day for the boy that would never be mine.

"I'm not boyfriend material," he confessed. "I get laid every once in a while but I don't feel anything for the chicks, it's just instinct. Course I care about you, you and Bryon are the only people I give a damn about."

I shuddered at Bryon's name. That boy was a thorn in my side.

"This has nothing to do with the fact Bryon would hate the idea of us?"

"Bryon hates the idea of us anyway," Mark responded wearily. "It ain't that."

We were both quiet a while. I didn't know whether to be sad or not. He'd just told me in no uncertain terms that there was no future for us. In the same breath he'd told me I was one of two people he really cared about.

"You knew how I felt all along, huh?" I suddenly asked. I had began to piece together moments from our past, flashes of knowing smiles and strange looks like the night he'd found our picture pinned to my memo board.

"I guess I did," he answered. He didn't sound arrogant, only sad. "I think all the time about what things would be like if I were different."

"Different?" I questioned.

"Yeah," he said, his cigarette glowing ominously in the dark. "If I could care enough."


	7. Near Misses

**Chapter Six**

The next day I didn't wake up until about midday. Mom was already home and sleeping off the night shift. I was glad that I didn't have to see her with the way my head was pounding. I sat up and the room spun crazily. Mark was gone. On my bedside table stood a glass of water and two aspirin, the only evidence that he had ever been here. I gulped down the tablets greedily and lay there for a few minutes as the world came back into focus. What had I done last night?

Flashes of the party started coming back to me, throwing back drinks, allowing Curly to hug me in a corner of the kitchen and letting him kiss me outside in the back yard. I remembered Mark yelling at me that he'd seen Curly dragging me up the front steps to my house. What would have happened if Mark had come out of the Douglas' place a few minutes later than he had? Most of all though, I remembered Mark in the darkness of my bedroom telling me that he didn't have it in him to love someone. Particularly me. I wondered what it would be like when we saw each other next. I wondered if he'd avoid me like he had that week.

I got up shakily and made some toast. I took that and a glass of juice back to bed with me and spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping on and off. I didn't get why people got drunk if it made you feel so lousy afterwards.

About four o clock I decided I better grab a shower before Mom got up to get ready for another night shift. The hot water made me feel decidedly better and I even managed to rustle us up some salad. I wasn't brave enough to face the smell of anything else. Mom didn't complain when she got up, she wasn't a big eater anyway. She didn't seem to notice my tired eyes or the rings underneath them. If she did, she didn't say anything about it. As soon as she left, I crawled exhaustedly back into bed and the next time I woke up it was Monday. It was like the sickness from Sunday morning had never been there.

Bryon scowled at me as usual in English and he did the same in history. I wondered if Mark had relayed our conversation to him but I doubted it. By lunch, I still hadn't run into Mark and as soon as I found a table to sit at Darcy, Barbie and Ellen made their way over.

"How ya feeling today?" Ellen grinned at me.

"Okay," I answered, trying not to show I was embarrassed.

"Was that a great party or what?" Barbie said, setting down her tray. I didn't answer her.

"Is it true that you went home with Curly?" Darcy asked with no subtlety whatsoever as she slid into the seat beside me.

"Kinda," I answered, pushing my tuna rice around the plate.

They all squealed in excitement and I looked up at them startled.

"No!" I said irritably. "It wasn't like that. I was so wasted I didn't know what was going on and then when I said I wanted to go home, Curly took me. I didn't realise he thought my being unconscious was an invitation."

"What?" Barbie's eyes widened "Did he...?"

"No." I picked up my juice and took a gulp "Luckily one of my neighbours saw us and took me inside instead."

"Oh Jesus, Ally," Darcy said apologetically. "I knew you were drunk but I didn't know you were that bad. I'm sorry."

The three of them looked desperately remorseful so I just shrugged. It wasn't their fault; it was my own for getting so stupidly drunk.

"You wait 'til I see Curly Shepard..." Barbie muttered, stabbing her meatloaf with her fork as though it were Curly's head.

I glanced over at her.

"Well, technically, he didn't do anything. For all I know, he could have been doing the gentlemanly thing and putting me to bed."

All three of them scoffed at this.

"Curly? A gentleman?" Darcy said in disbelief. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"Not the stupidest thing," Ellen observed as Angela Shepard swept past our table. Barbie and Darcy fell quiet and I suspected there was something going on I didn't know about.

"What?" I asked, once Angela was out of earshot.

"Apparently Angela threw herself at Ponyboy Curtis last night. At the nightly double in front of everybody," Darcy explained. "Why a nice guy like him would even look at her is beyond me."

"Well from what I heard," Barbie put in, "Pony couldn't get away quick enough."

I watched Angela Shepard talking to a few hard faced girls a couple of tables away. She was flicking her hair and smirking like the previous night hadn't happened.

"Isn't she still going with Bryon?" I questioned dumbly. I guess to me it didn't make sense to be going with someone and then pouncing on someone who was so far from your type it was untrue.

"Uh huh." Darcy nodded, lowering her voice "I heard someone say Bryon wants to have it out after school."

This worried me slightly but not because of Bryon or Pony. It was common knowledge that wherever you found Bryon Douglas, Mark Jennings wasn't far behind.

A crowd had gathered outside in the parking lot. Bryon was sitting on Terry's car looking mightily pissed off. I hadn't seen Mark all day and there was still no sign of him. There was no sign of Ponyboy either.

Terry looked nervous beside Bryon and I guessed he didn't want any part of it. He hung out with Pony occasionally so he was friends on both sides.

Angela was gathered nearby with a few girlfriends, whispering to them and snapping her gum. I gave her a disgusted look. She was probably enjoying this.

I didn't feel like sticking around to watch. If I knew Mark wasn't planning on coming I would have left already but as I hadn't seen him, I hung back with Darcy, Barb and Ellen.

It wasn't long before Ponyboy Curtis came down the front steps, his jacket slung over his shoulder. He was alone but by the looks of things, he didn't look too scared. He was slouched down, in a perfect don't care pose, a greaser speciality.

The kids in the parking lot seemed to hold their breath as he made his way over to Terry's car. Bryon slid off the hood and looked at Ponyboy menacingly. They were about the same height, both of them tall but although Ponyboy had a decent build, Bryon was a good deal heavier.

Ponyboy sighed.

"I don't wanna fight you, Douglas. I got no interest in Angela. She's all yours."

I shot a look at Angela who was scowling in Ponyboy's direction. The crowd started murmuring as they realised the bull she'd been feeding everyone about it being a two way thing was nonsense.

"Well maybe I wanna fight you anyway," Bryon said, stepping closer still. He was mad and looking to take his anger out on somebody.

Ponyboy clearly wasn't gonna start anything but he had his fists clenched, ready for anything Bryon had to throw at him.

They were both startled at a new voice saying from the edge of the crowd:

"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?"

Two-Bit Mathews was making his way over, fun in his voice but steel in his eyes. I guessed from the way he was looking at Bryon that he was a friend of Ponyboy's. He came to stand behind him and Bryon eyed him coolly, before casting a look back at Terry who was still sitting on the hood.

Terry reluctantly got down and looked over at Two-Bit.

"Hey, this is between Douglas and Curtis. You ain't got no business getting involved."

Two Bit looked over at Terry and grinned widely.

"Well if these two start dancing, we'll be left all on our lonesome. How's about we couple up too?"

"Cool it, Two-Bit," Ponyboy said, not taking his eyes off of Bryon.

Bryon came forward a step and I saw Ponyboy brace himself for the blow he was sure would come.

It never happened.

A loud banging noise drew the crowd's attention from Bryon and Ponyboy to some way behind them where Mark was jumping from roof to roof of the students cars. There were muttered protests from the owners but Mark didn't linger long enough for anyone to get really mad. In a matter of seconds, he had landed on Terry's car and had jumped down to stand beside Bryon.

"Quite an entrance, Jennings," Two-Bit observed "You want in on this?"

Mark looked at Ponyboy and started to laugh. Softly at first but leading up to a cackle. Two- Bit and Bryon stared at him dumbly while Ponyboy managed a wry smile.

"What's so damn funny?" Bryon demanded as Mark held his stomach, rocking on his heels.

"This is so damn stupid!" He said through his laughter "You ain't got no beef with each other. Angela Shepard has played you all like Lord knows what and you're all falling for it. I bet she'd love to see a mass brawl fought over her. If she was a guy, there's only one person you'd all be mad at."

"If Angela was a guy," Ponyboy said "I would have been mad the moment she sat herself on my lap at the drive in."  
This made Mark laugh all the harder. Ponyboy was grinning too now. Two Bit looked a little confused but Bryon just looked mad.

"What's goin' on here?" Two-Bit asked, scratching his head dramatically. "We dancing? We not dancing?"

"Sorry, Mathews, you ain't my type," Mark said to him, reaching out and slapping him on the shoulder.

The crowd were becoming impatient. They had come here to see a fight and it didn't look like one was going to happen.

'_Fight, fight, fight'_ The chant began quietly but slowly grew louder.

Mark jumped back onto Terry's car and addressed the crowd.

"You guys wanna see a fight, huh? Alright, I'm game. Who wants to fight me?"

The chant started to die down. Terry started to pull Bryon away from Ponyboy. A few guys in the parking lot began to mutter to themselves.

"So?" Mark walked up and down the length of Terry's car roof. "Any takers? No? None?"

It was at this time that Mr Greene, the principal, accompanied by Coach Rogers pushed their way through the throng of students.

"Alright, alright, what's going on here?"

Ponyboy and Two Bit slipped off into the dispersing crowd.

"Mr Jennings, what a pleasure as always." Mr Greene looked up at Mark with his arms folded but a tone of familiarity in his voice. For some reason, he'd always liked Mark.

Mark looked down at Mr Greene from the roof of Terry's car. Bryon and Terry stood just beneath him.

"Pleasure's all mine Mr Greene."

"And what, may I ask, are you doing up there?"

"Just taking a better look at your beautiful school, Sir."

Coach Rogers shook his head but couldn't help a smile.

"Mark, will you get off my roof before it caves in?" Terry said. He looked eager to get away from the principal. I guess he knew Mr Greene didn't have the same soft spot for him as he did Mark.

"Wise words," Mr Greene said, raising his eyebrows. "Now get out of here before I give you all a detention."

Mark jumped down and as the Principal and Coach moved away, I edged nearer. Bryon was already in the back seat and Terry had started the engine when I caught Mark at the passenger door.

"Mark?"

He turned round and looked at me in surprise.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Aw, Mark, hurry up man," Terry said, darting a look at the retreating backs of Mr Greene and Coach Rogers.

Mark ignored him and came away from the car.

"Hey, what's up?" He gave me a curious smile and I faltered. I was expecting him to be distant at the very least.

"I-uh, just wanted to say thanks for you know, Saturday. And check we were still cool?"

Mark reached out and ruffled my hair.

"Course we're cool, dummy. You need a ride?"

At this point, Bryon, who had wound down the back window yelled:

"Mark, come on already!"

"Na, it's cool," I answered, backing away a little. "Maybe see you at home later?"

"You make us sound like a married couple." He grinned. "But sure."

He went back over to the car and climbed in. Bryon gave him a rough shove from behind and his voice was loud and angry when he said;

"You shoulda let me have it out with Curtis."

"If you were mad at him for good reason, then sure," Mark said, buckling his seatbelt.

"Well, it ain't like I can hit Angela is it?" Bryon snapped back.

"I've still got Donna Bailey's number if you want it," was the last thing I heard Mark say.

88888

After that, Bryon and Angela went their separate ways. In a way, it sucked for me because Bryon and Mark became inseparable again. That meant the time we had together was limited to mornings or late at night sometimes when Mark couldn't sleep.

He didn't bring up what we'd discussed that Saturday night and things should have gone back to how they were. They didn't though. Now he knew how I felt and he'd been honest with me too, uneasiness settled that wasn't there before. When he'd grab me to tickle me or I'd chase him across the lawn there was always this unspoken message between us. The sentiments of what might have been.

I was just glad he didn't start dating someone else. Sure, I knew he slept with girls, but the fact that I knew they didn't mean anything to him was some comfort at least. He and Bryon often went to hunt girls together and though Bryon would have to lead the girl on some to boost his ego, Mark wasn't like that.

By sixteen, he hadn't been on more than three dates with the same girl and I had got used to watching him and Bryon leave their house on a Saturday night, all spruced up ready for a date. After time, it didn't sting so bad.

888888

"Hey, Ally, will you take this over to Bryon and Mark?" My Mom called one day from the kitchen. She was getting ready for work and I walked into the kitchen to find her taking a casserole from the oven.

"Why's that?" I asked "I thought that was for me."

"Mrs Douglas is in the hospital." My Mom said "Chest complaint. Bronchitis maybe. Didn't Mark tell you?"

"No," I answered. "Mom, can't you take it over?"

"No honey, I gotta get to work. I'll see you in the morning maybe."

I doubted that. I would be up early for school and she would more than likely still be in bed after the night shift.

"Alright, bye sweetie." She dropped a kiss on my cheek. "Don't forget about the casserole."

After she was gone, I stared at the casserole for a long time. I made a point never to go over to the Douglas'. Bryon's coldness was bad enough on neutral ground. Deciding to get it over with, I picked up the dish and headed out of the house.

I banged hard on Bryon and Mark's front door and finally, Mark came to the door. His face spread into a smile and he leant lazily in the doorway.

"Well, Ally Jenkins, what you doing in my neck of the woods?"

I held out the casserole.

"Special Delivery. How's Mrs Douglas?"

Mark took it from me and stepped back to let me inside.

"She's doing okay. You comin' in?"

I hesitated.

"It's okay, Bryon's not home," he said with a grin.

I pulled a face at him and stepped inside. The place was a royal mess.

"Jesus, don't you ever clean up?" I complained, stepping over a pile of dirty laundry.

"Nope." Mark navigated his way to the small kitchen. "Only when Bryon gets sick of it all."

"So where is his Majesty?" I asked as Mark set the casserole on the counter.

"He's out tryna hustle some money for Saturday," Mark said. "Something like that.

I just nodded. There was a dance at school on Saturday night. I never went to the dances. I wasn't much of a dancer and there was no one I particularly wanted to go with. Well, almost no one.

"You going?" Mark asked me "To the dance, I mean?"

I shook my head.

"Why not? You must have the guys beating a path to your door." He laughed and I felt hurt.

"You making fun of me?"

Mark's face became serious.

"Naw, Ally, I'm kidding. Surely someone's asked you though?"

"Nope." I shrugged as though I didn't care. "Probably be awful anyways."

I had turned to leave when he suddenly said out of the blue:

"You wanna go with me?"

I turned round slowly.

"You serious?"

"Yeah, why not, it'll be fun."

"I don't dance," I warned him.

"Well so what, we'll get drunk."

"You know I don't drink either." I said to him.

He cocked an eyebrow cheekily at me, reminding me of the night of Darcy's party.

"Alright," I mumbled, "but I'm a reformed character."

"Okay, well how about we just sit in a corner and tell bad jokes?"

I sighed.

"Mark, you don't wanna take me..."

"Since when do you decide what I do and don't wanna do?" He said, coming over and standing in front of me. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"I guess..." I said uncertainly. I didn't know what had brought this on but I didn't want his pity.

"Are you gonna make me beg?" He put his arms around me and I felt myself melt under his golden gaze. He was just a couple of inches taller than me and his face was tilted downwards towards mine.

"I'll go," I said breathily, feeling giddy with the need I had to kiss him.

I tried to back out of his embrace but he didn't loosen his grip. Instead, he suddenly lowered his head and impulsively kissed me.

I had thought about it a hundred times before but I still couldn't believe it was happening. His lips were soft and his kiss was warm. Tender even. I kissed him back, letting my body take over. After a minute or so we heard a voice say:

"What the fuck?"

We simultaneously pulled away to see Bryon standing in the kitchen doorway.

"What the fuck is going on?" Bryon asked, staring at us in shock.

"Well, I was just proposing to Ally here. She turned me down cold though, on account of her heart belonging to you." Mark quipped.

I elbowed him sharply. Bryon looked at me then back at Mark again.

"She brought us a casserole." Mark indicated the casserole on the side.

Bryon looked at it hungrily then gave me a suspicious look.

"You cook it?"

"No."

"That's okay then," he said, lifting a corner of the foil.

"Well, I'll be off anyways," I said, stepping away from Mark and trying to control my blushing. Mark called out a farewell as I fled.

He'd kissed me. Sure I knew it was just a kiss. Sure I knew it didn't mean anything. Yet just having that memory was enough for me. A memory that I will keep forever.


	8. Second Place Ain't First

**Chapter Seven**

I actually started to get pretty excited about the dance. Mom came with me to shop for a new dress and Darcy, Barbara and Ellen were just as excited as me. Barb had a date as usual, nobody serious, but somebody to go with, and Darcy and Ellen were going together.

By Thursday, after keeping them all at bay for long enough, they finally convinced me that we should all have a practice run with make up and clothes for the upcoming dance. I guessed I could use the help 'cause I had no clue about make up anyhow.

"I still can't believe you and Mark are going together," Darcy said excitably, bouncing on the end of my bed. "I always knew there was something going on between you two."

"There's nothing going on," I answered, trying my best not to move as Barb applied my mascara. "We're just goin' as friends."

"Sure you are," Ellen giggled as she twirled in a pretty yellow dress in front of the mirror.

"Yeah, I got pics of a lot of me and my guy friends in my room." Darcy said, leaping up and pointing dramatically at the picture of me and Mark on my memo board. Jesus, I was going to have to take that down.

"Aww, shut up..." I groaned, heaving a sigh.

"Will you keep still already?" Barb barked at me. "Darcy, stop bouncing around, you're drivin' me nuts."

Darcy performed a mock salute to the back of Barb's head. Ellen stifled a laugh.

"I thought Mark would be takin' Bryon," Darcy went on. "Seein' as those two are practically joined at the hip."

I had to laugh at that one. Barbie stepped back and gave me a final warning glare.

"If you want to look like a panda, you carry right on," she said through gritted teeth.

"Jeez, Barbie, did you get your period today?" Darcy asked, rolling her eyes.

"No, I didn't and for your information, Bryon is taking Cathy Carlson to the dance."

"Cathy Carlson?" I asked curiously. The name rang a bell, I just couldn't put a face to it.

"M&M's sister?" Ellen asked in surprise. "I didn't know she was home."

It all clicked into place then. M&M was a sweet kid that hung around the candy store a lot. He was quiet and smart and I knew Mark looked out for him. Ellen lived on the same street as the Carlsons. From what I could remember, there were always loads of kids in their front yard, all miniature versions of M&M.

"Yeah, the very same," Barbie said, her voice thick with irritation.

"Why do you care?" Ellen asked Barbie in surprise "You have a run in with her somewhere?"

"Well, no," Barbie put down the mascara and pursed her lips. "It's just that I was hoping Bryon would take me."

"What?" All three of us chorused.

"What happened to Georgie Arwood?" I demanded. No friend of mine could date Bryon Douglas. It was bad enough that Mark lived with him. I didn't need any other reasons to bump into Bryon.

"Well, I was going with Georgie," Barbie explained. "But then when Ally said she was goin' with Mark, I thought wouldn't it be fun to double date? So I told Georgie to forget it and I thought I was making progress with Bryon. Until I heard he was taking Cathy Carlson."

"You dumped Georgie so you could take Bryon and double date with Ally and Mark?" Darcy scoffed. She started to giggle and Barbie began to get mad.

"Well, yeah, I mean, its not like Mark would have wanted to double date with me and Georgie and I just thought hanging out with Ally would be fun. I thought we could all meet here and go together."

She had a point about Mark not wanting to go with Georgie. Georgie's father was a police officer and Mark had a little problem with stealing. Cars mostly until he got caught. He was still on probation for it.

Ellen smoothed out her dress and smiled winningly into my vanity mirror.

"So why don't you just tell Georgie you changed your mind?"

"He's taking Hilary Reynolds now," Barbie wailed, taking a step back and surveying my face critically.

Ellen and Darcy started to laugh while I secretly thought it kinda served her right for dumping Georgie like that.

"Well, if you get desperate," Darcy said. "I'm sure Two-Bit would take you."

Barbie narrowed her eyes at Darcy.

"Darc, have you got a death wish?" She snapped "I'd rather go butt naked."

"I'm sure Two-Bit wouldn't argue with that." Darcy smirked back.

Barbie ignored her and pulled me up from my chair.

"Here, take a look."

I walked slowly over to the mirror and then stared in wonder at my reflection. I didn't look like me at all. Ellen had straightened my hair within an inch of it's life with an iron of all things and while I had protested, looking at it now, it had been worth every second. It seemed much longer now, and hung in a sleek sophisticated do that was alien to me. The make up, although plentiful, had been applied in such a way that it seemed almost natural. My eyes look larger and darker and my skin looked amazing. Barbie was a genius.

"Right, get your dress on," Ellen came towards me holding out a gorgeous pale blue dress that was a little shorter than any skirt or dress I'd worn before. It was far from revealing though and it fit me perfectly without being uncomfortable.

I slipped off the dressing gown I was wearing and Ellen helped me into the dress, zipping up. We all lined up side by side, as we tried to get a piece of the mirror. We were all finished. This is what we would look like on Saturday night. I started to get butterflies just thinking about it.

"Well, if I was a guy, I'd do us all," Darcy said matter-of-factly.

This set us all off into giggles and for once I was actually enjoying a girly moment.

"Amen to that," put in a voice from behind us.

All four of us jumped in surprise. Mark was half way in the window but had stopped on the ledge to admire us. I felt a mixture of excitement and embarrassment when his eyes lingered on me the longest.

"Hey, this is a private moment!" Barbie complained. "Get outta here, Jennings."

Mark pulled himself into my room and laughed.

"Sorry, I was just looking for Ally. Anybody seen her?"

I felt stupid as they all laughed and wondered what he thought of my new make over. We still hadn't spoken about the kiss but we hadn't seen each other alone for the last few days so it had kinda got brushed aside. I figured it had just been an impulse anyway.

"So, since you're not leaving," Barbie grumbled "What do you think of the new improved Alison Jenkins?"

"I thought she looked just fine before," Mark answered with a lopsided grin. "But I wouldn't say no to taking her out like that on Saturday night."

The girls all made silly sounds and started elbowing me. The feeling of unity amongst girls started to wear off and I found myself scornful of the whole situation again. They were acting like dorks just 'cause a guy had turned up.

"Well, I can see you're busy, Al," Mark said, backing up towards the window again. "I'll come by later maybe."

"Okay." I answered unenthusiastically "Later."

Mark clambered out again and Darcy, Barb and Ellen all looked at me questioningly.

"What?"

"He'll come by 'later'?" Barb questioned disbelievingly "It's almost 9 o clock now. Does he often climb in your window in the middle of the night?"

"Well, my Mom's at work a lot, you know that." I shrugged "He usually only comes over at night when Bryon's busy with some girl back at his place."

Ellen looked a little disgusted.

"Think you got off lightly with him, Barb," she said. I couldn't agree more.

888888888888

I was almost asleep when I heard my window slide open. There was a hard bang as Mark lost his footing and landed heavily inside.

I started to get out of bed but before I could, I heard Mom's bedroom door open.

Christ, she was home and was gonna catch him in here again.

I heard Mark scramble up and when the light went on, I held my breath. Mom was in the doorway with a cricket bat but there was no sign of Mark.

"What was that?" She demanded, looking suspiciously about the room.

"What was what?" I feigned sleepiness "Oh sorry, I rolled outta bed."

Mom lowered the cricket bat and gave me a small smile.

"Aren't you a little old to be rolling outta bed, honey?" She came over and patted me soothingly on the head. "Are you nervous about Saturday?"  
I could have died. I knew Mark had to be close by somewhere and could probably hear every word.

"Yeah, I know it's like yours and Mark's first real date."

My Mom always teased me about Mark, saying that one day we'd probably grow up and fall in love but she had no idea I'd fallen a long time ago.

From behind her, I could suddenly see the unmistakable outline of a guy crouched on the sill through the curtain. The reason I suddenly noticed him was because the guy, Mark, was shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Mom, it's not a date!" I protested with feeling "I'm only going 'cause I didn't have the heart to turn him down."

_Have that, Mark Jennings,_ I thought triumphantly as the curtain suddenly became still again.

"Ok, honey." Mom patted me again and made to leave "You wanna keep it to yourself that's fine. My lips are sealed."

Before I could protest, she had switched off the light and closed the door. Mark's laughter suddenly became vaguely audible and when I marched over to the window and yanked back the curtain, he fell off the sill onto the floor again. He had a hand clamped over his mouth to keep from laughing.

"Will you keep it down?" I hissed. "She'll hear you."

"That's okay, Ally," Mark chuckled. "Remember, her lips are sealed."

"You're such a jerk!" I muttered, feeling humiliated "What are you doin' here anyway? Are you _drunk_?"

I had suddenly smelt the unmistakable scent of whiskey on his breath. That was the only time I could ever really tell off the bat that Mark had been drinking. Unlike a lot of guys our age, he held his drink well.

"A little," he answered, climbing to his feet. "I was just goin' home then I remembered I said I'd check in."

"What do you want, a certificate?" I snapped "Go on, go, before my Mom comes back in."

Mark stroked back a stray strand of my hair, still glossy and straight from Darcy's treatment.

"You sure looked pretty earlier…" he said thoughtfully.

"As oppose to now?" I mumbled, slapping his hand away. "Gee, thanks Mark."

I trudged back to bed and clambered under the covers. He came over and sat on the floor nearby, his back against the wall.

"You sure are hard to give a compliment to," he said, lighting up a cigarette.

I pulled the duvet round me and for some reason, started to feel upset. Did he not wanna be with me because I wasn't girly enough? His eyes had never looked at me like that before tonight. All lit up like Christmas. Even when he had kissed me, the only look in his eyes was a kind of fondness, stemmed from a lifetime of hanging out.

"You asleep, Ally?" His smoke was drifting all around me but for some reason, it didn't bother me none.

"No," I answered.

"You mad at me?"

"No," I said again.

"You ever gonna say anything again, asides 'no'?"

"No-" I started, before catching myself.

He laughed easily and I couldn't help but be warmed by the huskiness of it.

"Can I get in bed?" I heard him pull out his cigarette box and put the cigarette out on it.

"Get lost," I mumbled.

As usual, he didn't listen at all. He shoved me over and rolled onto the mattress, putting his hands behind his head.

"Mark, I said no," I said irritably.

He turned sideways to look at me and I felt him smile in the darkness.

"'You afraid?" he asked, kinda proudly if you ask me.

I scoffed.

"Of you? Hell, no."

He smelt of soap and slightly of cologne and that coupled with the whiskey (don't ask, I don't know) was making me feel kinda giddy and school girlish.

"So what's the problem?" Mark persisted.

"You are. Don't want you sticking your tongue down my throat again," I blurted out. I wanted to kick myself. Could I have sounded anymore uptight? What happened to the kiss not being a big deal?

Instead of laughing like I expected him to, he said quietly:

"I guess I deserved that."

"Huh?" I said dumbly.

He shifted round onto his side and propped himself up with one elbow.

"Well, I haven't really made much sense lately." Mark said, as seriously as I'd ever seen him "Telling you to back off and then goin' and kissing you like that."

He had a point but he was talking without prompting for once, so I didn't voice my agreement.

"I don't know whether I'm coming or going these days. You make me feel kinda mixed up."  
I waited for him to go on but when he didn't I said;

"Mixed up?"

"Well yeah. I know I couldn't ever be tied down to one girl," he said immediately, like maybe he'd just been thinking."And I know I could never love a girl the way girls wanna be loved."  
I wondered why he was saying all this and put it down to the whiskey. Usually Mark's emotions were way below the surface.

"It's just sometimes you make me feel otherwise. That night I saw Curly taking you home, I was mad as hell. Anyone doing that to a chick needs stomping on but the fact that it was you…." He trailed off and I looked into his yellow eyes. "I wanted to murder him but I was too worried about you to even do it. I just threw him down the steps with a few choice words and brought you inside."

That surprised me. Mark didn't even usually need a reason to pick a fight but he had let Curly go in favour of bringing me inside. Usually, a fight and his reputation took pride of place over everything.

"Oh." Was all I could think of to say.

"Monday night when you came over with that casserole, I don't know what it was, but when I asked who was taking you to the dance, I started getting riled up just thinking of another guy taking you."

"That's just you being a possessive guy." I shrugged.

He touched my face and shook his head slowly.

"I don't care if a girl I'm on a date with gets up and goes home with the movie usher. Plenty more fish in the sea."

I put my hand over his and wondered where this was leading. If this were the case, why didn't he want to date me for real?

It was like he read my mind.

"I want better for you, Ally. You don't deserve a fuck up like me."

"You're not-" I started. He cut me off.

"Ally, I have sex with a girl and I don't wanna see her again. I slice someone from gut to belly and it makes no odds. I wake up sometimes and I have to disappear for the day, or night even. Just get away and be separate from the world. Bryon gets that, he lets me be. Those things wouldn't be fair to you."

"I don't care, Mark. You are who you are," I answered.

"You may not now," he reasoned. "But I don't want you to be the girl I don't wanna see again. I don't want you scared to hell 'cause I'm fighting or disappearing or anything like that. I don't want you to be loved by half a heart, 'cause that's all I have, Ally, that's all I got to give you."

He laughed hollowly and dropped down onto the mattress again.  
"Jesus, I must be wasted. I sound like some Hollywood jerk off."

"Kinda," I said, attempting humour although my heart was aching. Knowing I was that close to being with him was agony. It was like coming second in a race as oppose to fifth. Being just beaten to the post was that much harder to take.

Mark laughed at my weak joke anyhow.

"I tell ya, I'm gonna have to give my hands a serious talking to before they leave the house on Saturday," he said.

"My mother will do it for you if she catches you in my bed again," I warned.

Mark laughed softly.

"I guess I better go. I don't fancy going up against one of Charlie's Angels if she comes in here with that cricket bat again."

I cringed inwardly. I had hoped he hadn't seen that from behind the curtain.

"Cricket bat?" I said tentatively.

"Yeah, surely you noticed the bat, Ally." Mark chuckled "I peeped out and nearly fell off the sill laughing."

He got up and slowly moved to the window.

"Just think, if she ever gets sick of nursing, she could start her own gang. Tim Shepard wouldn't know what'd hit him."

I was still laughing long after he was gone.


	9. There'll Be Other Dances

**Chapter Eight**

I was way too excited about the dance for something not to go wrong. Of course, it had to.

I got sick.

Friday morning I woke up with a bit of a headache but it seemed to go after some aspirin. By midday I was vomiting and the nurse sent me home after asking me some embarrassing questions. I could have sworn she thought I was pregnant.

By the time I went to bed, I had the shakes and was burning up. I tossed and turned all night trying to get comfortable, one minute too warm and then shaking like I was cold.

Saturday morning Mom came in with some aspirin and a thermometer. Once I sat there for what felt like an excruciatingly long time with the thermometer in my mouth, Mom took it from me and frowned.

"Sorry Honey," She sighed "Looks like you're staying in bed this weekend."

"I can't!" I wailed "Tonight's the dance, Mom! I spent all that money on the dress and-"

I was starting to feel hysterical. My head hurt something awful but this was the first time me and Mark would be going out properly. You couldn't count the horror of the double date with Bryon and Angela. This would be just me and him.

"It can't be helped." Mom shrugged, standing up. "There'll be other dances."

I took a breath to steady my voice.

"Mom, I can't stand Mark up, okay? I have to go. Maybe I'll be better by tonight, maybe it's a twenty four hour bug."

I was clutching at straws and she knew it. She smiled at me.

"I don't think so, honey, but I'm sure Mark will understand."

I slumped back onto my pillows and put my hand over my face. Who knew I would be this disappointed about missing a dance?

"Listen, I have a lemon meringue I was gonna take round to the boys anyway so I can tell Mark you're sick on my way out."

Mom knew I couldn't call because although we had a phone, Bryon's Mom didn't.

"You're not letting me go but you're still going to work?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"Ally, you're not dangerously sick, you just might get that way if you go out. Besides there's people a lot sicker than you at the hospital so they need me more. You've got the number, if you feel like you need me, you can call and I'll come straight home."

"Fine," I muttered.

"There's some soup in the kitchen. Shall I open it so you just have to heat it up?"

"No, Mom, it's fine. Can you go over to Mark's now before he goes out?"

Mom nodded at me, touched my cheek briefly and left. Grumpily, I rolled over and fell back to sleep.

It was almost four o clock in the afternoon when I woke up to the front door opening. I wondered if it was Mom, but the door was usually open anyhow.

"Hello?" I heard Mark's voice call. A few seconds later, he was in my room.

"How's it goin', Jenkins? No miraculous recovery yet?"

I still felt dizzy and nauseous so I shook my head sulkily.

"Aw, come on, it's not that bad. You didn't even want to go to the stupid dance," he said, sitting on the end of my bed. He was carrying a carton of juice which he passed to me.

"What's this for?" I asked in surprise.

"You," he said simply. "I dunno, Bryon's Mom always makes us drink juice when we're sick."

I managed a weak smile.

"Thanks." I tried to smooth down my hair a little "So, you found yourself another date yet?"

Mark looked up at me and grinned like I was crazy.

"As flattered as I am at your confidence in me, it's a little short notice for a replacement."

"Sorry," I looked down at my hands but he only laughed.

"Don't be an ass, Ally. Hardly your fault you're sick. Besides, Terry and Ponyboy are going stag. I figure I'll go with those guys. Bryon has a date."

"M&M's sister right?" I remembered.

"Boy, good news sure travels fast," he was still smiling but then, what else was new?

I was starting to feel awful. The room started swimming and my stomach growled emptily.

"Was that your stomach?" Mark asked with a laugh.

"Yeah, I need to make some soup." I started to get out of bed but the movement made me groan. I lay back on the pillows, feeling beads of sweat build up on my forehead. Mark stood up and looked at me, frowning.

"You don't look too good, Jenkins. You want me to stay here tonight, until your old lady gets home? The dance ain't a big deal anyways."

"Don't be silly," I mumbled, as the world started to slow again. "I'm just gonna sleep once I've eaten."

"Well let me make the soup then , " Mark offered. "Then you can crash out."

I looked at him sceptically and he feigned offence.

"Hey, I can heat up soup! That's what you meant right? I don't gotta make it from scratch or anything?"

"No. I closed my eyes again and tried to relax. "Just out of a can. Thanks."

When he came back with the hot soup a few minutes later, he set it proudly on my lap. I gave him an amused smile as he started to fill an empty glass he'd found with the juice he had first came in with.

"See, look at me," he said with exaggerated pride. "I'm a regular domestic type."

I didn't answer as I was devouring the soup, but I did think about the state of his place. Domestic type, my ass. He sat on the end of the bed and lit up a cigarette. I paused long enough to glare at him before he took the hint and moved over to the window. Smoke was bad enough when you were eating, but more so when you were sick and eating. After I'd finished the soup, I set it on my night stand and washed it down with the orange juice. As my food started to settle, I started to feel sleepy again.

"It's a real shame I don't get to take you out in that dress," Mark said, looking at it hanging up on the door of my wardrobe.

"I'm gonna take it back, see if I can get a refund," I answered with a yawn.

"You should keep it," he said thoughtfully. "There'll be other dances."

I was just about to tell him that's what my Mom had said, when I drifted off to sleep.

888888888888

I didn't wake up fully again until Sunday lunchtime, but I felt a whole lot better. I couldn't believe I had slept through the entire dance. I wondered if Mark had found a date last minute. It wasn't impossible. Most girls would give anything for a date with beautiful dangerous Mark. It was just that most girls up to his standards would have already had a date lined up. Mark liked pretty girls but he wasn't keen on big talkers or aggressive types like Angela Shepard. As long as I'd known Mark he'd only ever gone out with girly types, particularly shy ones.

Mom had come home from work the night before but was now on the early shift so I'd missed her too. I was starting to feel a little sorry for myself when the phone started to ring. I got up, expecting to feel dizzy but was relieved to find it didn't feel half as bad as yesterday. I got to the phone in time and said hello into the receiver.

"Ally, hey." It was Darcy and she sounded concerned. Mark must have told her at the dance that I was sick.

"Hey Darcy, how's things?" I settled down on the sofa and tucked my legs underneath me.

"Yeah, okay. You feelin' better?"

"Much," I replied, realising suddenly how hungry I was. Man, I might make myself a grilled cheese sandwich.

"How's Mark, is he doing okay?"

"Mark?" I suddenly snapped to attention and all thought of food was swept away.

"Yeah, didn't you hear? He got hit with a bottle last night at the dance."

My heart started pounding in my chest. A bottle? Last night?

"Huh?" I said into the receiver.

"Yeah, Ponyboy Curtis got in a fight with some guy. The guy picked up a bottle so Mark stepped in to say fight fair. Before he knew it, the guy had hit him with it."

"Is he okay?"

"No idea." Darcy said "He was out cold when the ambulance took him away."

I felt my blood run cold. Unconscious?

"Darcy, I have to go."

Without waiting for an answer, I dropped the phone back onto it's cradle and headed for the shower. I was in and out in five minutes flat and dressed in another two. Hair still wet, I pulled on my sneakers and hurried next door. I banged a few times on the screen door and waited. After what felt like a lifetime, Bryon swung the door open holding a cigarette. He looked me up and down , his lip curling in contempt.

"Yeah?" Bryon took a drag on his cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke at me.

"Is Mark home?"

He looked down at me from his great height and I started to feel like a midget.

"He's sleeping."

"Well, is he okay? I heard what happened." I said frantically.

"He's fine. Few stitches, he'll be right as rain."

Bryon continued to look at me coldly and I don't know whether it was because I was out of my mind with worry or that I had just had enough but I suddenly snapped.

"What is it with you, Bryon?" I snapped angrily "Why you always gotta talk to me like I'm dirt?"

"Well, if the shoe fits..." He smiled annoyingly.

"I aint never done anything to you. You've hated me since we were kids and I don't see you hating on anyone else like you do me. What's your problem?"

"Maybe I just don't like you. Maybe I don't trust somebody who spends so much time sitting on their porch watching people. Maybe I don't like the fact that Mark's slipping off to you every five minutes when he isn't even banging you. It's like you got some sorta hold over him and I don't like it."

"I've got the hold?" I exclaimed "He's your personal guard dog and you spend every waking minute together."

Bryon stared hard at me but I stared back. He wasn't gonna win this one. I had only come over to check Mark was okay. Usually I wouldn't dream of it.

"Will you just tell him I called by?" I said through gritted teeth as we stared at each other stubbornly.

"I'm sure you'll tell him yourself next time he slips over to yours."

"Well thanks Bryon," I said sarcastically. "You've been a huge help, you great ass."

His eyes widened in surprise but before he could retort, I had spun round and swept up the path.


	10. Playing Hooky

**Chapter Nine**

Monday morning I felt better but I still had a temperature so Mom told me to stay home one last day. Ordinarily I would have argued with her. I had been home all weekend and I was awful bored but when I'd been having a coffee that morning on the porch swing, I'd seen Bryon coming out to Terry Jone's car. He was alone.

Terry was leaning on the car patiently and when Bryon had reached him, he'd spotted me and scowled. I'd responded by smiling sweetly and giving him the finger. Terry almost fell over from laughing until Bryon slugged him in the arm. Pretty soon after that they got in and took off.

I was pleased. Not at giving Bryon the finger, though that had felt good too, just happy that Mark was home alone and I could finally go over and see him. So when I took my mug inside and Mom came downstairs with the thermometer, I was secretly glad she said I was too warm to go to school.

I had breakfast and took a shower after Mom left then I went and put some clean clothes on. I tried to apply my make up like Barbie had done but I was useless at it and ended up washing it off. To hell with it. I was me, the same Ally Mark had always known. He'd seen me sick as anything just days ago so I guessed I had little to hide from him now. Running a brush through my hair, I headed next door.

I tapped gently but there was no answer. Pushing the door open a little I called out but there was no answer. I decided to go in anyway. In the hall, I could see one of the doors were ajar. Striding over, I knocked twice.

"Who's that?" came Mark's voice.

"It's me." I swung the door open further and stepped inside.

The room was kinda messy but not as much so as the living room. There were two single beds against opposite walls, a pile of laundry on the floor and a stack of books on the window ledge. I guessed they must have been Bryon's and was surprised to know he read the same books I did.

Mark was stretched out on his bed, wearing just a pair of jeans. He looked relieved to see me.

"Sweet Jesus, some company!" He said, flashing me a grin.

"Bryon only left about an hour ago," I laughed. "You missing him already?"

"Naw, I'm just sick of laying in bed, it's killing me."

"You want me to bring the TV in here?" I offered.

"Sold the TV a while back now. Electric bill needed paying I think."

I suddenly realised I'd never thought about Mark and Bryon's financial situation. It must have been tight with Mrs Douglas in hospital. Sure, I'd seen Mark flush once or twice but I knew Mark was just an opportunist, earning a few dollars here and there anyway he could, so the money was never regular. Besides he was so generous, the cash never stayed in his pocket long anyhow.

"So you was just waitin' for Bryon to leave huh?" Mark gave me a sideways smile and I felt embarrassed.

"Well, he's hardly Mr Hospitable, is he?" I snapped.

"Oh yeah." Mark was still smiling. "He said you called by yesterday."

I narrowed my eyes. _Oh he did, did he?_

"He told me you called him an ass too."

"He is one," I said darkly.

"Then he called me an ass 'cause I couldn't stop laughing."

I smiled at him and came over to sit on the end of his bed. Up close, the stitches in his head were really distinct against his golden hair. He looked a little paler than usual but other than that, he seemed okay.

"So..." I started, staring at his stitches. "What the hell happened to you?"

Mark laughed and started to tell me how some guy had come over to pick a fight with Ponyboy Curtis. The two had fought for a while before the guy picked up a bottle. Mark had stepped in to try and get the guy to fight fair and then he'd cracked Mark over the head.

"I got a concussion and had to have a few stitches but I got off lucky, I think. The guy would have probably finished me off if the cop hadn't come over. I was out for the count."

I tried not to visibly shudder at the thought. If anything happened to Mark I didn't know what I'd do but why should I worry? Mark was always okay, always lucky. He could get away with anything.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay, I was worried," I said quietly.

"Aww, Jenkins, you aint gotta worry about little old me." Mark stretched powerfully and I strained to not look at his well toned chest. "So you aint wagging school are ya? Your old lady won't be happy."

"No, I have a temperature still," I said. I still felt a little tired, come to think of it.

"Yeah, sure you do. I reckon you just came over to catch me in bed," he said slyly.

"You're lucky you're injured, Mark Jennings!" I said, dropping the fist I had just made.

"You ever noticed how similar our last names are?" he said suddenly.

"Yeah, I guess if we got married, my name'd sound pretty much the same," I blurted out without thinking. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, _I cursed silently.

Mark just gave me an odd smile.

"I don't think I'm the marrying kind," was all he said.

I tried to laugh but I could feel my cheeks burning. That was not the kind of thing you said to a guy. It was enough to send the nicest of them running for the hills.

"So," I tried to change the subject. "Did they arrest the guy that hit you?"

"Yeah, Bryon said they arrested him on the scene but check this out; Guess who set him on Curtis?"

I shrugged, puzzled.

"Angela."

"Angela Shepard?" I gasped.

"The very same," Mark nodded. "I guess she was mad about him telling the whole parking lot he had no interest in her. Wish I'd seen her face!"

I suddenly remembered Mark had come along after that. Bryon must have filled him in.

"Well, you know I'm not her biggest fan anyway." I shrugged.

"Yeah." Mark sat up and propped himself up on his pillows "Pass me my cigarettes, they're under the mattress."

He pointed at Bryon's bed and I went over and fumbled around for a bit under the mattress. I handed them over to him and he produced a lighter from his sheets.

"Who you hiding them from?" I asked as he lit one up. "Mrs Douglas is still in the hospital right?"

"Yeah. " Mark exhaled heavily. "Habit, I guess. We hide them when she's home but I think she knows we smoke anyhow."

I watched him smoke for a while, comfortable in his company. The room was warm though and I felt sleepy as I sat on the edge of Bryon's bed.

"I'm gonna go home, I'm tired." I said as I fought to keep my eyes open. I stood up but Mark instantly protested.

"Hey, you just got here!" he complained. "Crash here for a bit if you're tired. I think I got enough to order pizza later."

I looked back at Bryon's bed and shook my head. No way was I sleeping in that creeps bed. Mark must have read my mind because he laughed.

"You can have my bed, "he offered. "I might have a sleep myself."

"Okay." I yawned. "Just don't let me sleep all day."

I walked over and stood next to the bed, waiting for him to get up and get in Bryon's bed. He didn't move.

"Are you gonna get up then?" I asked.

"No." Mark gave me an amused smile and grabbed my arm, pulling me into bed with him. We were on top of the covers but I still felt a little uneasy. What if Bryon came home to check on Mark or something?

"Come here." Mark lifted up one arm and after hesitating, I lay down on his chest. He felt warm and he smelt good. In a few moments I was asleep.

I guess an hour or two passed before I woke up.

Me and Mark were wrapped up in an embrace, the duvet now half over our legs. It felt strangely natural to be cuddled up in bed with him and that idea seemed ridiculous. I was sixteen, still a virgin and I'd never even kissed a guy asides Mark. He, meanwhile, had probably lost count of the women he'd slept with. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, he was no Bryon, but certainly far more experienced than me. So how could I be so relaxed with him like this? The answer came to me as soon as I thought up the question. I trusted Mark. He'd never push it too far.

I watched him sleep a while, not wanting to break up the embrace we shared. Boy he was gorgeous. With his eyes closed, you couldn't see the toughness in him. He looked younger, more angelic and I fell in love with him all over again. Without the toughness, the barricade he'd built up, I reckoned we'd be together so while his face was as relaxed as it was, I felt like I could pretend.

It was as though he felt me watching him because a few minutes later, he opened one eye, startling me.

"What you looking at?" he grumbled.

I smiled at him and he opened the other eye.

"Boy, you're grumpy in the morning!"I teased.

"It ain't morning," he countered, his eyes smiling as he tried to keep his mouth from following suit.

"Okay, when you wake up then."

"Maybe I'm just grumpy when I wake up to a pretty girl and didn't get any before I went to sleep."

I started laughing.

"If you think that line's gonna get you lucky, you must be crazy!"

Mark widened his eyes dramatically.

"You insulting my lines, Jenkins?" he frowned and tightened his grip on me.

"Naw, I think they're great." I said trying to keep a straight face. "You should do stand up comedy."

He leapt on me then, tickling for all he was worth. I bucked and screamed at him to stop but he just carried on, knowing how ticklish I was. I struggled so hard that before we knew it, we'd hit the floor with a loud thud, him on top of me. All the wind was knocked out of me for a second and I struggled to breathe. Mark instantly put his hands to the floor and lifted his weight off of me. He looked down at me with worried golden eyes, his body just a few inches above me as he supported himself.

"Are you okay, Ally?"

I couldn't answer, struggling to regain my breath.

"You okay?" He repeated.

Slowly, I found I could breathe normally again.

"I'm okay," I answered weakly.

Mark gave me an amused grin.

"Good job too, I thought I was gonna have to give you mouth to mouth."

I looked into his eyes and marvelled again how beautiful he was. Even sleepy eyed and unshaven, he was hotter than any guy I knew.

"What'd be so bad about that?" I asked out loud as he hovered above me.

"I promised myself I ain't gonna kiss you no more," he said seriously.

I looked at him steadily for a few seconds.

"Good job I didn't make any promises," I replied impulsively, putting a hand behind his neck and leaning up to kiss him on the mouth. He was startled for a second but then he kissed me back. After a while, he gently lowered his body onto mine and kissed me harder. I felt like I was in heaven.

I ran my hands along his smooth back and he ran his fingers through my hair, making me tingle all over. Encouraged by my shudder, he slipped his hands under my top and ran them across my stomach. Without thinking, I undid the top button of his jeans.

"Wait," he suddenly broke off the kiss and sat up, one knee on either side of me. He shook his head as if to clear it.

"What's wrong?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

He looked down at me with a strained expression.

"This isn't right," he said, his eyes sad. "Your first time should be with someone special."

"It will be," I murmured, pulling him back towards me. We kissed for a while longer but it didn't feel the same on his part. I knew he was reluctant to take it any further.

"What's the matter?" I finally said, exasperated.

Mark shrugged and then sighed. Irritated, I pushed him off me and got to my feet. He followed my action, standing up beside me.

"Don't be mad." He gave me a little grin but I glared at him.

"Why would I be mad? You'll sleep with half of Tulsa but I'm not good enough? Why would that make me mad?"

"Ally." Still laughing, he grabbed me and backed me up against the door "I want to more than anything but I can't do that to you. I can't be your boyfriend so it wouldn't be fair."

I sighed and felt myself soften. I guessed he was right, he was doing the honourable thing. I should be grateful for that.

"Ally?" Mark's voice broke into my thoughts and I looked up into his questioning eyes.

I punched him lightly on the arm.

"Where's this pizza you promised?"


	11. Sweet Sixteen

**Chapter Ten**

A few weeks later it was Ellen's birthday. Since she was turning sixteen, her parents said she could throw a party, only not at home. Ellen's brother, Joey, washed dishes at The Dingo to help put himself through college and he persuaded the Dingo manager to let her have the party there. Since it was always like a teenager's party anyway in there, the manager gave in.

Ellen's parents were pleased 'because there would be adult supervision and no alcohol being served. Ellen had told them under no circumstances were they themselves allowed to show up. Joey was put in charge, a DJ was hired and an array of snacks and drinks with a punch bowl were laid out courtesy of the diner.

I asked Mark if he was coming but he only said maybe, that he was probably hanging with Bryon that night. I turned up with Darcy and Barbie at a little after eight and the place was already packed.

"Hey!" Ellen squealed excitedly when she saw us. "Guess who's here?"

I scanned the crowd quickly but I didn't recognise anybody unusual.

"Everybody?" Barbie shrugged, glancing around.

"Tim Shepard!" Ellen squealed "He came with your cousin, Darcy!"

She pointed out a corner booth where Tim Shepard sat like royalty, surrounded by his cronies with Darcy's pretty cousin Meghan under his arm.

"What's he doing here? There isn't even any alcohol!" Barbie snorted.

"Everyone seems to have a bottle of something hidden somewhere." Ellen shrugged. "Tim keeps topping up his coke with whisky from Meghan's purse."

As I looked around, I noticed everybody was kinda livelier than normal. And there I'd been expecting a quiet party with no alcohol and some supervision.

I spotted Ellen's older brother Joey over by the counter. He was tall and dark with quick brown eyes and a nice smile. Except today he wasn't smiling. He was frowning as he looked about the place.

"Come on, let's get a drink." Ellen led us over to the counter and said to the waitress: "Four cokes please."

"Hey, Joey." Darcy smiled at the older boy who looked distracted.

"Oh, hey, Darc. Barbie, Ally." He gave us all a small smile but then grabbed Ellen's arm. "Is everyone in here drunk?"

Ellen turned a little pink.

"It's not like we can throw _everybody_ out for drinking. You're here to keep an eye on things."

Joey rolled his eyes.

"You owe me big time for this, Ellen."

Ellen punched him on the arm.

"Come on, Joe, enjoy yourself a little. Dance or something. Stop standing around like a doorman."

He opened his mouth to protest but Darcy was already dragging him onto the dance floor. We laughed as we watched her propel him across the floor. It was then that I heard him.

"Elly!" a familiar voice yelled from behind us.

I turned round slowly to see Curly Shepard grinning stupidly at me.

"Get the hell away from her!" Barbie snapped angrily "What you did is disgusting!"

Curly looked genuinely taken aback.

"Huh?" He gaped.

"Yeah, we know what you almost did to Ally," Ellen put in. "You're scum of the earth and you weren't invited, so leave!"

"Hold on a minute!" Curly held up a hand to quieten them. "I carried her home, nothing more. It was Jennings getting all carried away and accusing me of stuff. Me and Elly were having a good time."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's Ally, you dumb ass!" Barbie barked.

Curly was looking at me pleadingly but I didn't say anything. I'd been unconscious at the time, what could I say? Maybe he had had bad intentions, maybe he hadn't. There was no way for me to know.

"So what happened when Jennings took you in, huh?" Curly looked at me and raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Tuck you in with a cup of cocoa?"

"Something like that, yeah," I responded .

"Curly, go away before I get my brother to throw you out," Ellen threatened.

Curly looked over at Joey who was now laughing and twirling Darcy around.

"Oooh, the pot washer...I'm real scared." Laughing, he took off for his brother's table.

"Jerk!" Barbie shouted after him.

"Thanks, you guys," I said, once he was gone.

Barbie looked pretty mad so I squeezed her arm gently.

"You never said Mark took you home," Ellen said, her eyes shining.

I coughed, embarrassed. I hadn't because I knew how they'd react.

"Yeah, he saw Curly taking me home and came over to stop him," I admitted.

Barbie and Ellen squealed stupidly, just as I knew they would.

"Mark is such a dreamboat." Ellen sighed. "You guys are so meant to be."

I smiled but said nothing. 'Dreamboat' sounded all wrong when referring to Mark.

Ellen and Barbie went to dance after a while and Joey started clearing tables. I don't know how I started helping him but I guess I was bored standing around alone.

"We got waitresses to do that." Joey grinned at me as I followed him into the kitchen loaded up with plates.

"If you hadn't noticed, one's on a stool chain smoking and has been for half hour and the other one is drunk and sitting on the lap of one of the Shepard gang."

Joey laughed until he saw my expression was serious. Hurrying back out, he headed over to the Shepard table. I watched as he hauled the waitress off one of the guys laps and pulled her aside. The girl hung her head as Joey went to get the drunk girls bag and coat before telling the smoking waitress to walk her home.

"You do realise you've sent all your staff home." I giggled, as he came back shaking his head.

"I'll stay behind and clear up." He shrugged. "I wouldn't say no to you helping me clear tables though."

I nodded and followed him out into the diner. I actually had a pretty good time. Joey was great company and we cracked jokes as we worked. I kept watching the door though, hoping against hope that Mark might show. As the night went on, I realised this was more and more unlikely.

It was while I was clearing a table near the restrooms that I heard a scared female voice that I recognised.

"Get off me, you jerk!"

There was a small corridor that led to the Ladies and the Gents bathrooms and some guy had pinned Barbie against the corridor wall. Barbie, usually fearless, sounded terrified.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" I demanded, standing in the entrance to the corridor, my eyes narrowed.

The guy looked at me like I wasn't there and ran a hand down Barbie's face.

"Tell her to go away," he said in a deep slur. He was out of it and using his considerable frame to pin her against the wall.

"Ally, get Joey," Barbie said trying to stay calm but squirming underneath the guy.

I didn't want to leave, worried that by the time I found Joey in the crowded diner, the guy could have done anything to her.

As if by magic, the door to the gents opened and Two-Bit Mathews strolled out. I had never been so glad to see anyone.

"Hell, if it ain't Batman and Robin." Two-Bit grinned at us then at the guy. "And who are you, the joker?"

"Get lost, Mathews, and take the other chick with you."

"He won't let her go!" I told Two Bit, since the guy was blocking Two-Bit's view of Barbie. She had started to cry now, but noiselessly, tears slipping silently down her face.

"Oh really?"

Two-Bit stepped forward, smiling but I saw the same expression in his eyes that he'd worn the day Bryon wanted to fight Ponyboy. It could appear as if out of nowhere.

"That's not much of a technique, buddy, having to hold her there like that," Two-Bit went on thoughtfully. "How's about you let her go?"

Two-Bit didn't give the guy a chance to let go or respond, he just grabbed him by the shoulder and hauled him backwards. The guy crashed into the opposite wall of the corridor and Two-Bit swung a ferocious punch into his stomach. The guy was steaming drunk and went down like a sack of potatoes.

I was too stunned to move. Barbie stood there sniffing for a second before Two Bit fixed her with a grin.

"You alright there, Barb?"

She nodded and wiped away her tears as Joey appeared.

"What happened to him?" Joey demanded, looking down at the dazed boy on the floor.

"Beats me." Two Bit grinned. Joey started to look mad so I quickly explained what had happened.

"Right, he's outta here." Joey hauled the guy to his feet and twisted his arm behind his back before frog marching him towards the exit.

"Boy, am I glad you came along," I said to Two Bit.

"I call that fate." Two Bit smiled and bowed at Barb. "How's about we grab a coke, Barbie Doll?"

Barbie smiled and took Two Bit's proffered arm. I watched them go, surprised at the way she was smiling at him. What a night this was turning out to be.

When I got home, I was shocked to find Mark sitting on my bed. It was gone 2am, my Mom was still at work and he was sitting with the light out.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed after switching the light on. "What you doing, sitting here in the dark?"

Mark was sitting up fully dressed at the edge of the bed.

"Charlie's dead," he said quietly.

"Who?" I dropped my bag and sat down beside him. He looked awfully calm.

"Charlie, you know he owns 'Charlie's' bar on Main Street?"

I did. Bryon and Mark went down there sometimes and played pool for money. I had heard Mark mention Charlie now and then and I'd seen him about town, but I didn't really know the guy.

"He's dead?" I asked quietly. I touched his arm but he seemed not to notice.

"We hustled these guys. Texans. They wanted to teach us a lesson outside but Charlie saved us." Mark was staring straight ahead but not looking at anything specific. "They fired a gun at us and they got Charlie."

"Oh, Mark, I'm sorry." I tried to pull him to me but he was stiff as a board.

"Bryon was in pieces man, sobbing like a baby," he went on. "I ain't never seen him like that."

"Where is he?" I asked, for once actually concerned for him. Mark should be with him if he was still in shock.

"Asleep," Mark muttered. "He crashed out when the cops dropped us home."

"You want a drink?" I asked. "I think my Mom has brandy."

"Okay." He nodded but didn't move so I went out into the kitchen, fixed him a brandy and came back into my room. He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, same as he had been when I came in.

He gulped down the brandy in seconds and let the empty glass slip to the floor. It rolled a few feet away.

"Mark, are you okay?"

"I fired back, Ally. Charlie had a gun and I fired back at the Texans but I missed."

I didn't know what to say. I was glad he'd missed but horrified he would try and kill someone at the same time. I forgot too often how dangerous he could be.

"I'm sorry about Charlie," I said, choosing to ignore the gun comment.

"At least one of us is."

I looked at him sharply.

"I ain't glad. He was a good guy," Mark went on "but shit happens. It ain't the end of the world."

I rubbed his arm again and said gently;

"I think you're in shock, Mark."

He shook his head vehemently.

"That's what the damn cops said. I ain't in shock, Ally. I didn't give a rat's ass when my parents shot each other so why should I care too tough about Charlie?" he demanded forcefully. " I looked at Bryon and I knew I should have been as upset as him but I wasn't. It reminded me how dead and empty I really am."

"You're not either of those things." I said. I climbed behind him and wrapped my arms round his chest resting my cheek on his shoulder. I saw him smile a little.

"That's why I came over, Ally. You always make me feel something, even if it ain't the full ticket."

He loosened my arms and turned around hugging me tightly.

"Stay," I said in his ear.

He was quiet for a minute but then he shook his head.

"I should be there when Bryon wakes up."

"So go in the morning," I said. "Don't leave yet."

He looked at me for a long while before getting undressed down to his boxers and t shirt. I took off my socks and shoes before clambering into the bed. He turned out the light then got in after me, holding me close. He was so quiet but clearly awake.

"I love you," I whispered. I figured he needed to hear it.

He didn't answer for a while but for once, I didn't feel embarrassed.

"No one's ever said that to me besides you," he said finally.

I kissed his cheek then his other cheek and then I kissed him on the mouth.

He kissed me back and it grew more and more heated.

"I should go," he broke away and I could see he was wrestling with himself. He lifted up the edge of the duvet but I pulled him back.

"Stay. I want to," I whispered softly.

He stiffened.

"Ally, you know we can't-" he said hoarsely.

I put a finger to his lips. I didn't want to hear that speech again.

"I don't expect anything else," I said simply and with honesty. "I don't want anyone else to be my first."

He paused before kissing my hand and then guiding it away from his face.

"'You sure?" He asked again, his breath heavy and warm.

I nodded before leaning back and letting him slowly unzip my jeans.


	12. Are We Or Aren't We?

**Chapter Eleven**

I woke up dazedly and saw that I was alone. I wondered if it had all been a dream. Charlie dying, Mark being here, me giving him my virginity.

I sat up and saw a note on the nightstand. In a childish scrawl, Mark had scribbled:

_Had to check on Bryon and didn't want to wake you. _

_I'll come see you later._

_Mark_.

It was hardly romantic but I knew it was his own way of telling me he hadn't just took off after what had happened between us. It all seemed like it hadn't really happened.

I asked myself whether or not I regretted it but I couldn't say I did. People grow up and always talk about the horrors of their first time. Mine had been with my best friend and first love. He'd been tender and sweet and I hadn't been afraid for a second. It had hurt some but afterwards he'd kissed me softly and told me it had been amazing. Well, actually I think he'd said something like _'that was unreal'_ but the sentiments were the same.

I'd expected to feel totally different but everything was just the same. Mom was the same, the house was the same and the neighbourhood was no different either. By three o clock that afternoon, the glow of the previous night was subdued and I found myself out on the porch. I was reading 'Gone With the Wind' for the fourth time so I didn't see Mark until he plonked himself down next to me on the old swing. The creak it made was loud enough to wake the dead.

"Christ," he muttered to himself.

"Hey." I smiled at him and we looked at each other. Mark grinned.

"Man, this is weird."

I cleared my throat.

"How's Bryon doing?" I decided to change the subject. It was weird to not even greet each other with a kiss after the previous night but it had been my decision. I knew it would be like this.

Mark rubbed the back of his neck and his face clouded over.

"He's acting mighty weird. He took off with Cathy a little while ago."

I nodded.

"How you feeling?"

"Same." He shrugged and grinned.

I looked at him sideways wondering if he really wasn't bothered at witnessing a murder but his face remained impassive. It wasn't always that way though. The previous night I'd seen him look at me with an expression of happiness. I wonder if I had imagined it or if that was the face he projected to women he slept with. Mark wasn't a liar though. I knew that as well as I knew my own name.

"So what are you up to?" Mark asked. "You wanna sneak into the drive in movie? I'm meeting Ponyboy and Terry."

I thought about it. I could hang out here and feel weird about last night or I could go with him and try and get things back to normal. Tough choice.

"Yeah, okay." I stood up and stretched "Let me just take my book inside."

At the movies, I found myself seated between Mark and Ponyboy. Terry was on Mark's other side. I had refused to climb under the fence so had paid while they all had. Mark tried to give me back the money but I wouldn't take it. I knew things were tight over at his while Mrs Douglas was still in hospital.

The film was '_The_ _Odd Couple'_ with Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau. It was pretty funny and we were all laughing pretty hard when Ponyboy said he was going for snacks. I fancied another coke myself so I followed him over to the snack bar. We weren't saying much, Pony was studying the menu and I was counting out my change to hand over to the attendant.

I think we both spotted Bryon and Cathy at the same time, parked a little way away.

"Oh, great," Pony muttered. He went a little pink when I looked at him.

"You okay?" I asked as I received my coke.

"Yeah," he responded, turning his back on them. "It's just Bryon Douglas doesn't like me very much."

"That makes two of us." I shrugged, putting the coke straw to my mouth. "He generally doesn't need a reason."

"Well, I guess I kinda gave him one when I asked Cathy out after the dance." Ponyboy smiled.

I spat my coke everywhere.

"You did what?!"

Ponyboy shrugged and we both laughed. We were just moving away from the line when somebody grabbed each of our shoulders.

"Awww, ain't love grand!" Two-Bit Mathews grabbed some of Pony's popcorn and danced round us animatedly.

"Hey." I gave him a huge smile. After he had come to Barbie's rescue the previous night, I decided he was one of the good guys.

"Didn't know you were here, Two-Bit," Pony said, offering him some more popcorn. "Wanna come sit up front with us?"

Two=Bit shook his head and grinned.

"Sorry, kid, I got a date tonight."

He indicated his car where a blond girl was trying to conceal her face.

"Who is-BARBIE!?" I yelled.

She rolled her eyes at me as half the drive in looked over at us. I made my way quickly over grinning.

"Barbie, are you on a date with Two-Bit?"

"Yeah, and you just let the whole drive in know so thanks, Ally." Barbie grumbled, sinking in her seat. She spotted Ponyboy with Two Bit and straightened up triumphantly "Hey, what about you? You here with Ponyboy?"

I grinned and shook my head.

"Mark and Terry are waiting over there."

Barbie followed my gaze and groaned, letting her forehead fall on the dash. I reached through the window and squeezed her arm.

"Come on, Barbie, I like Two-Bit."

"He calls me Barbie Doll," she wailed, "and he didn't even get out of the car to knock on my door. He just honked the horn until my dad came out and yelled at him."

I smothered a grin as Two-Bit and Pony approached.

"Come on." Pony nodded at me."You two enjoy ya date."

"Oh we will," Two- Bit said, hopping back into the car.

Pony and me went the long way round in an effort to avoid Bryon's car but it was a futile effort to escape him. He was standing near our seats talking to Mark.

"Great," I muttered as we made our way over.

Bryon looked at us as we sat down but he didn't give us his usual scowl. Instead he just looked kinda lost. Charlie dying must have hit him hard. Mark came back a while later but he looked distracted. I don't think he even noticed when I took his hand.

We said our goodbyes to Terry and Pony at the drive in. They hopped in somebody's car and disappeared. Mark walked me to the top of our street but said he had things to do and walked back in the opposite direction.

I walked home slowly trying to make sense of things. What were we now to each other? Still friends? Was last night a one off or was it to become a regular thing? I didn't like the idea of it being over but offering myself to Mark with no strings whenever he felt like it seemed wrong. There were names for girls who behaved like that and none of them were nice. Last night it had seemed romantic that he was my first but now I was confused.

I was so lost in thought I didn't even see the figure hanging around on my porch. I was surprised to realise it was Ellen's brother, Joey.

"Hey Joey," I greeted him with a smile and he smiled back.

"Ally, I was hoping you'd show up soon."

He had dimples when he smiled, I noticed, just like Ellen did.

"Everything okay?"

As nice as it was to see him, I was still a little puzzled as to why he was there.

"Well, yeah." He took my hand and pulled me over to the porch swing. I sat down with him and looked at him quizzically."I had a great time last night. I was dreading it but when you started helping me out, I actually really enjoyed myself."

I smiled and nodded. _Where was he going with this?_

"So I was wondering." He still had hold of my hand. "Would you like to go out sometime?"

I hadn't seen that one coming.

"Well, I-" I didn't quite know what to say. Joey was in college, he had to be eighteen or so and he was Ellen's brother. Sure I liked him and he was cute and all, but he just wasn't...I searched for a word, but I knew what the real reason was. _He just wasn't Mark._

"Just think about it," Joey said, seeing my uncertain face. "I know I kinda sprang this on you. Think it over and gimme a call."

Joey attended the College of Medicine at Oklahoma University and still lived at home. I wondered how Ellen would ever react if I called the house and asked for Joey_._

"Okay." I looked up at his expectant face and gave him a smile "I'll think it over."

"Right, well I'll let you get inside." He stood up and the old swing creaked. "Boy, does that thing need oiling."

I smiled as I thought about all the times Mark had said the same thing.

"No man in the house," I explained, "just me and my Mom."

Joey smiled but said nothing. Then he waved and walked away.

At lunchtime on Monday at school, Bryon and Cathy huddled together in a corner table. I wondered where Mark was, I hadn't seen since the night of the movies but I didn't go over to ask. Bryon still seemed different to me, the cocky exterior was evaporating more and more and it kinda unnerved me.

The shock of the day was Barbie and Two Bit making out on the front steps after school. She seemed to have completely got over her embarrassment of being with him and he was clearly head over heels for her too. Neither of them saw me as I passed them by, looking around for someone I could hitch a ride from. I didn't fancy playing gooseberry to Two Bit and Barbie.

I looked up at the honk of a horn and saw Joey Granger grinning at me from behind the wheel of the car. I walked over to him.

"Need a ride?" he offered with a smile.

"Sure." I climbed in. "You here for Ellen?"

"I was but I guess she left already." I watched him avert his eyes and knew he was lying.

"She may not have," I answered lightly. "School just let out, we could wait."

He looked at me and laughed.

"I didn't come here for Ellen," he admitted sheepishly. "I kinda hoped I'd run into you."

I buckled my seatbelt as he pulled away from the school, smiling a little. It was flattering really, a college guy going out of his way to pick me up.

"So how was school?"

"Okay, I guess." I answered evenly. I liked Joey, I did, but I couldn't go on a date with him. My heart belonged to Mark."Listen, Joey-"

I decided just to be straight with him. I wasn't into playing games.

"I thought about what you said yesterday," I said carefully "and I think you're a great guy but I kinda like someone."

Joey digested this as he made a right turn. I was relieved to see he didn't look mad.

"He like you?"

I paused, wondering how to answer, wondering if I knew the answer myself.

"It's complicated."

Joey nodded and drove on quietly for a few moments.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I considered this. I hadn't told anybody about me and Mark but maybe it would help to get an objective opinion.

"Well, I have this friend," I started, wondering how best to explain it, "but he's had a lot happen to him, you see. We kinda have this thing but he doesn't really want to commit."

Joey was quiet for a moment.

"Seems kinda selfish," he observed, "so he gets you but you don't really get him. Hardly seems fair."

The way Joey said this didn't come off as angry or jealous. In fact, when he said it out loud, it made sense.

"Maybe. It's just he's the only guy I've ever felt anything for and he is such a good friend to me. He always has been. He'd do anything for me."

"Except date you properly," Joey said, "the guy must be crazy."

I smiled at the compliment, feeling infinitely better having talked to someone.

"Don't tell anyone okay?" I asked cautiously.

Joey looked at me sideways and without saying anything, I knew he wouldn't breathe a word.

We talked about lighter stuff for the rest of the journey home and he really made me laugh as he talked about college and his job. He really was a good guy.

As we pulled up outside my house, I recognised Terry's car outside Mark and Bryon's. Terry beeped his horn in greeting to me and I waved as he pulled away. Mark stood at the gate watching as I said goodbye to Joey. He started to make his way over so but by the time Mark was at my side, Joey had driven away.

"Who was that?" he asked without a greeting.

I watched Joey's car roar off into the distance.

"Ellen's brother."

"So where's Ellen?" He demanded.

I looked at him strangely. Was he jealous? Mr No-Commitment had a problem with me hitching a ride from a friend's brother?

"What's it to you?" I asked curiously.

Mark shrugged and started to walk away. I hurried to catch him up and caught his arm.

"What's the matter?"

When he turned back to me, he was his smiling self again.

"No worries, Ally. I'll catch ya later."

He had his back to me again when I blurted out;

"He asked me out on a date."

Mark froze and slowly turned around.

"What'd you say?"

"I said no."

He breathed an obvious sigh of relief but I didn't understand. Was Joey right? Was Mark expecting me to stay exclusive to him while he was living the single life?

"Why does it matter, Mark?"

He looked furious when I said that and marched over, gripping my arm as he hissed:

"It matters because we slept together Saturday night!"

I yanked my arm from his grasp.

"Yeah, I don't need reminding! So what, you wanna date now?"

Mark shook his head, looking confused.

"I don't know, Ally, this is getting all too much. I knew it'd get complicated."

"Only because you won't say what you mean!" I yelled at him.

He looked at me for a moment before striding away.

"Mark!" I yelled after him

"Do what you want, Ally," he called over his shoulder as he turned into his front yard.


	13. If I Were The Dating Type

**Chapter Twelve**

There soon came a time when Bryon was rarely seen without Cathy by his side. Charlie had left Bryon and Mark his car but it seemed like Bryon had it most days with Cathy riding shotgun.

Bryon got a job bagging groceries and I started to think maybe Cathy was having a real positive influence on him. He had stopped scowling at me and was usually too wrapped up in Cathy to even notice me pass by.

Considering Mark wasn't with them much, I still didn't see very much of him. I wondered what he was doing with his time. He didn't really climb in my window anymore but he'd come hang out on the porch if he saw me and we'd talk about nothing and fool around. He never asked about Joey again so I never brought him up.

I saw Joey every now and then. Sometimes he'd drop me home and other times I'd go over to the Dingo where he'd buy me a soda on his break. I couldn't feel anything but a friendship for him but he was fine with that and didn't press me about going out again.

I guess it was one day mid week on a sunny afternoon when I ran into Mark outside school. It was pretty dead because I'd been in the library for an hour after school let out but I spotted Mark immediately smoking a cigarette on a bench out front.

"Mark!" I called.

He turned slightly and raised his hand in greeting. When I walked over, he stood up and stretched.

"What you still doin' here?" I asked.

"Detention." He flicked the cigarette away and raised his chin. "How about you?"

"Library," I answered.

Mark smiled at my response and I knew what he was thinking. We were total opposites.

"I was just thinking about borrowing a car to get home. You game?" He gave me his lion like grin and I wondered whether or not he was kidding.

"I'm walking," I said automatically.

"Okay." Mark put his hand on the small of my back and guided me onto the sidewalk. We started walking.

"They got sentenced yesterday," Mark said, kicking a stone into the road. "Life imprisonment."

I knew instantly he meant the Texans that had shot Charlie. He and Bryon had had to testify.

"That's good news," I said, looking over and studying his face.

"Ain't gonna bring him back." He shrugged. There was no sign of any emotion.

We walked quietly for a while until we got to the rougher side of town. Charlie's bar was boarded up and there was a 'for sale' sign hanging over it. I felt sad on seeing that and I shot a look at Mark. I didn't even know Charlie so how must he be feeling?

"We sit here sometimes," he said as we stood opposite the bar looking at the faded lettering of the overhead sign. "Bryon and me sometimes sit here for hours."

We carried on walking a while and then Mark climbed up on a bench and lit up another cigarette. I sank down beside him, imitating his position, with feet on the seat, perched on the very top of the backrest.

I was trying to find the right words and wondering if there were any. Like he'd said before, he wasn't upset about it at all, it just seemed to puzzle him.

"How's Bryon doing?"

Mark looked distant when I asked this and shrugged.

"I don't know who he is anymore."

He looked a little upset at this and I marvelled at the fact that he was more bothered about his friendship with Bryon than witnessing a murder. It struck me then that Bryon was the only person that kept Mark normal, the only stability he had.

"All loved up with Cathy I guess..." I said. "I take it you don't like her?"

"I never liked Angela either," Mark said honestly "but Bryon didn't act like this. He's like a different person."

We sat there quietly and I felt the sun on my face, the street eerily quiet.

"You ever think about just getting up and leaving, Ally?" Mark said quietly "About living on the coast somewhere where it's always sunny and you don't know anybody else?"

I had a vision of me and Mark in a beach hut somewhere, entangled in the covers with sun streaming through the window, reflecting off his golden hair. Where there was no Bryon, no parents, no painful memories right down our street for him. I imagined him looking at me the way he had when he was inside me, like he had never been happier.

I didn't really focus on the black car that pulled up in front of us. I saw it but I didn't really take too much notice, too caught up in my fantasy. When I came to, two guys were climbing out. Mark stiffened beside me.

"Jennings?" One of them demanded, standing threateningly close.

I looked up at them. They were about our age and both looked mad as hell. Mark got down slowly but didn't show any sign of fear.

"Ally, get out of here," he said in a low voice.

I didn't need any more encouragement so I started to slip off but one of the guys caught my arm.

"Wait up, princess. This your girl, Jennings?"

"No." Mark threw his cigarette and looked up at the guy calmly."She ain't got nothing to do with anything so just let her go."

The guy's fingers were digging painfully into my arm as I desperately tried to work out what was going on.

"My sister didn't have anything to do with anything but you still sold her shit that made her end up puking her guts up for two days straight," the guy said angrily.

I felt myself gasp involuntarily. Mark had sold someone drugs?

"Listen, she asked, I gave, and no one else got sick. Not my fault if she can't hack it."

I could scarcely believe my ears. Mark was selling drugs? And asides that, he didn't even sound remorseful.

"You little-" the guy let go of my arm and lunged at Mark who stepped aside and cracked him a good one on the cheek. The guy was thin but taller than Mark and he was only knocked back for a few seconds before he went at him again. The two of them fell onto the sidewalk and then the guy's friend stepped forward and started kicking out at Mark. One attempt caught him hard in the ribs and this gave the guy Mark was fighting time to get an advantage.

I stood by helplessly as the guy got astride Mark and dealt out two blows aimed at his head. Mark somehow managed to block both with his arms but he was cursing and panting from the kick to his ribs. He bucked and twisted, finally throwing the guy off him but just as soon as he was halfway up, the friend kicked him back down again. It was two on one and I really started to panic as both guys started laying into him.

Deciding I had to do something, I grabbed one of the guys from behind and tried to pull him off. He shook me off impatiently and I was sent sprawling backwards onto the sidewalk. I landed heavily and skidded backwards, scraping the backs of my legs on the gravel.

I was still sitting there kinda stunned when I saw Joey's car screech up beside us. He jumped out and looked like he was gonna come over and pick me up, but before he even got a choice in getting involved or not, one of the guys punched him. Joey hit back.

Now the odds were even, it was only a matter of seconds before Mark got the better of the guy who had hit him first. He landed punch after punch, clearly breaking the guys nose and busting open his lip.

After a few punches to the chest and face, Joey knocked the second guy down with a lunge to be proud of. He hurried over to me and helped me to my feet while Mark carried on punching the guy still standing. Joey helped me into the passenger seat and then looked back at Mark.

The guy he was fighting was swaying on his feet and Mark could have easily knocked him down. Instead, he kept punching and punching with a look on his face that made him seem capable of murder.

Joey ran back over and tried to pull him away but Mark struggled with the strength of a bull. During Joey's intervention, the guy with the broken nose slumped over and fell down. Mark stopped struggling and looked at Joey in annoyance.

"I wasn't done yet," he snapped.

"I think you were, kid." Joey sighed. "Come on, let's go."

Mark looked over at me in the car. I was pretty upset by now and couldn't help the flood of tears that were cascading down my face.

"I'll walk," he said warily. I could tell he recognised Joey's car from the day he'd dropped me home and he wasn't too happy about being rescued by him. Sirens started to wail in the background. Joey hastened to the car and got in.

"You coming or not?" he called to Mark as he started the engine.

Mark hesitated.

"Please Mark!" I sobbed.

He paused for one last second before hurrying over and jumping in. Joey sped off.

Nobody spoke a word until we pulled up in front of my house. We were all breathing heavy and I could feel the tension in the car as if it weighed down on my shoulders.

"Th-thanks, Joey." I tried hard to stop myself from crying again. The whole experience had been horrifying. I had thought those guys were going to kill Mark and it had really shook me up.

"It's okay." Joey patted my leg gently. He was quiet but I could tell he was mad. Not with me, but with Mark. "You want me to take you inside?"

I opened my mouth to answer but I was cut off by Mark slamming the rear door and yanking open the passenger one.

"We got it from here, thanks, super hero," he said through gritted teeth.

"Ally?" Joey ignored Mark and looked at me directly. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Thanks Joey." I gave him a small smile and slid out of the car. He looked disappointed.

As soon as Mark slammed the door shut, Joey roared away.

I started to head up my path, wishing that it didn't hurt so badly. Boy, my legs were sore. All I wanted to do was get inside. I was so mad at Mark. He had a lot of questions to answer.

"You're dealing!?" I yelled at him, as soon as we were in my room.

"I wouldn't call it that," Mark said casually, leaning back on my window ledge and pulling out his cigarettes.

"Well, what would you call it, you jack ass!" I yelled, flopping down on the bed and groaning at the pain in my legs. I started to take my jeans off, my legs felt like they were on fire.

"Quit yelling, already," Mark said lighting up and slouching back again. "I just do it now and then to bring a bit of money in. It ain't regular. Not like I'm doing the stuff myself."

"Mark, you could go to jail for that!" I hissed, biting my tongue as I pulled my jeans all the way off. Man, I hurt. I had a fleeting thought about being half naked in front of Mark but then I reminded myself it was nothing he hadn't seen before.

I walked over to the mirror and tried to get a glimpse of the backs of my legs. I could see they were scraped and bleeding from my slide on the concrete.

"Run a bath," Mark observed in a flat voice. "You'll be fine."

"Fine?" I shouted at him. "Fine?"

I reached onto my dresser and threw my jewellery box at him. It hit his leg and bounced off.

"Ally, will you get a grip, you ain't my mother!" Mark finally lost his temper too.

"You're selling drugs, you almost kill a guy who was just protecting his sister and then when Joey comes to help you, you're rude to him! What the hell is the matter with you!?"

I was crying with anger now and shaking too. I couldn't shake off the image of Joey's wounded face when I'd gone in with Mark.

"Oh, is this what this is about? The knight in shining armour? Did you enjoy being rescued?"

Mark kicked my jewellery box across the room and it hit the far wall. The lid broke off it and the jewellery spilled out. I suddenly remembered my Nana had bought me the box for my twelfth birthday. She had passed away when I was fourteen.

I bent down and picked it up, sobbing at the sight of the gaping hinges and the splintered wooden box. It was ruined.

"My Nana bought me this," I sobbed, scraping up the cheap scattered jewellery and piling it back in. I guessed it was my fault anyway. I'd thrown it at him first.

Mark came over and knelt beside me, helping me pick up the jewellery.

"I'm sorry, Ally, I'll fix it," he said, taking the box from me. He stood up and emptied the jewellery onto my vanity table and tried to bend the hinges back into place.

He wouldn't look at me and that made me even more upset. He must have felt my eyes on him because he finally put down the box and said;

"Ally, what'd you want me to do? I been tryna get a job for a month now but no one'll take me 'cause of my record. Bryon's working to support us both and his old lady's still sick. What am I supposed to do for money? How am I s'posed to pay my way?"

"Why drugs?" I sobbed.

"It aint just drugs." he sighed. "I buy things, I sell things. I make money all kinds of ways. I'm not pushing nothing on no one. What's the big deal?"

I wiped my face with my sleeve and stared at my feet. He just didn't get it.

Mark sighed.

"Wait here, I'll run you a bath." He disappeared into the hall and I pulled off my cardigan and blouse and slipped on my bath robe. Mark was a pretty long time but I guessed he was cooling off. I was too.

"Bath's ready," he said as he entered. I didn't answer.

I was standing quietly by the window, remembering a simpler time when we were kids and everything seemed straightforward.

"Ally?" he questioned softly. He came over and wrapped me up in a hug. I marvelled at how strong his arms felt. He was almost entirely unscathed by the fight. "Sorry I got mad at you."

"What about Joey?" I asked stubbornly. Joey had saved his neck and he'd treated him like dirt.

Mark's jaw tightened.

"Now _that _guy I don't like."

"He saved us! He saved _you_!" I pointed out angrily.

Mark took a step back and looked down at me incredulously.

"To impress you, that much was obvious. You already said he asked you out. You can date who you want, Ally, but I don't have to be friends with the guy, do I?"

"I'm not dating him." I sighed.

"Good," he enveloped me again and pressed his lips against mine. I was just about to protest but when he kissed me like that, all reason went straight out the window.

"If I was the dating type, you know you'd be my girl, Ally," he murmured to me as he kissed my neck. I closed my eyes. How many times had he said that kind of thing to me?

He continued to kiss me while he steered me towards the bed. He gently pushed me back onto it and I grimaced at the pain from my legs.

"You okay?" he whispered softly as he tugged at the belt of my bath robe.

I nodded. He was worth the pain.

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	14. Not Ready To Let Him Go Yet

**Chapter Thirteen**

The next day at about five o clock, I was swinging on the porch, my feet up and eyes half closed. My legs were still a little sore but a whole lot better than the previous day. I was too tired to read and I felt mad. Mad at Mark for yesterday's fiasco but mad at myself for letting him win me over like he had. The swing screamed in protest as it creaked loudly back and forth but I kept on rocking.

"You tryna wake the dead?"

My eyes flew open as Joey Granger mounted the porch steps and leaned back lazily against the rail.

"Oh, hi Joey." I sat up and swung my legs down onto the floor. I felt kinda embarrassed about what had happened the previous day and didn't quite know where to look.

"Hey." He smiled at me "I just came by to see how you were doing. Ellen said you hurt your legs or something."

"Yeah." I nodded, shame faced. "Yesterday, you know, when I fell."

He fixed his warm brown eyes on me, his face etched with concern.

"Is he the guy, Ally? Mark Jennings, right?"

I swallowed. Somehow him having a face to put to my secret made me feel a lot more vulnerable. He was the only person that knew something was going on. Sure, Bryon had caught us kissing but I'm sure he thought that didn't mean anything, after all Mark was a free spirit.

"Yeah." Was all I could say.

"This thing between you still going on then?" Joey had his arms folded but his face remained friendly enough.

I nodded. Joey let his arms drop to his sides then he walked over and came to sit beside me.

"I've been thinking for the last twenty four hours that standing in the way of childhood sweethearts isn't the cleverest place to be..." he said quietly, studying his tanned hands.

I didn't know what to say so I stayed quiet.

"...but then I came to the conclusion that I must not be clever." He went on.

I looked over at him and frowned.

"I really like you, Ally," he rushed on, "and if you were with some guy who was making you happy then I could be happy for you, but that guy? Is he gonna pull out your chair at dinner? Hold your hand in front of his friends? Be proud that you're his girl?"

I tried to block out what he was saying because I knew the answer to all of those questions. Mark wasn't going to do any of them. Mark was gonna climb in my window in the dead of night, punch me playfully in the arm like I was his buddy and whisper in my ear how I _should _be his girl.

"I know you're right," I said quietly, "but.."

I couldn't finish, instead I felt hot tears well up in my throat.

"...but you're not ready to let him go yet," Joey finished for me.

I nodded miserably and he grabbed my hand.

"How about you give me one night, one date, to show you how it could be? No funny business, no strings, just so you can see what it's like mattering to somebody?"

I bristled at his words.

"I _do_ matter to him," I said, half crossly.

"Okay, visibly mattering to someone," Joey said, taking a breath.

We looked at each other for long moments as my mind whirled. His eyes were imploring me to agree, to accept his invitation. I squeezed his hand and sighed a long sigh.

"I'm sorry, Joey, I can't."

888888888

"Hey Two-Bit, you seen Mark?" I was making my way across The Nightly Double and Two Bit was sitting on his car hood, swigging from a bottle of bourbon.

It was Friday night and two days had passed since I'd turned down Joey for a date for the second time.

"Yeah, skinny guy, not too tall, weird ass yella eyes..." Two-Bit answered faultlessly. I gave him a shove as I passed him by and he laughed.

"Well, while we're locating people, you seen your doll of a friend, Barbs?" He called after me.

Without turning around I called back

"Yeah, tall, blond, pretty..."

"Yeah, she is that!" Two-Bit sighed.

The place was busy like it always was on a Friday and I recognised a lot of people from school. I had come with Darcy and Ellen but some guys had climbed into Darcy's car to talk so I had taken that as my cue to leave. Ellen didn't mention Joey to me so I assumed she was in the dark about the whole thing. Either way, I was I didn't have to ask any questions.

"Terry!" I suddenly saw Terry Jones with a trademark beer in his hand, talking to a few guys beside his car.

"Hey, Ally." Terry gave me a wide smile.

"You seen Mark?"

"He was here a minute ago." Terry darted a look about then focused someway to his right. "Yeah, there he is, sitting on the Camero."

I followed his eyes and through the crowd, I could just see Mark's golden hair. He was obscured by some middleclass girls that I thought were on the cheerleading squad so I wove my way round them so I could see him properly. Unfortunately, he was still obscured from my view.

Mark was sitting on the hood of a car with his legs dangling over the side, a beer in his hand. In front of him stood a redhead girl in a tiny skirt and heels, her arms wrapped round his neck. He wasn't holding her as such but he was laughing at something she'd said, flashing that perfect smile.

I felt hot and cold all over, then I felt sick. For a second I contemplated storming over there but the urge was gone as quickly as it came. I just stood there, shell shocked as I started to wonder how many other girls he had on the go. How many he bedded when I wasn't around. Sure, I'd got used to him dating but that had been before we'd had sex, before he'd got jealous over Joey, before he'd made me think we actually had something.

It was right about then that Mark caught my eye. His smile faded and he quickly disentangled the girls arms from about his neck. Then he set down his beer. I took a step backwards before running as fast as my legs could take me.

I raced back past Terry, further past Two Bit, beyond Darcy's car without looking in at any of them. I ran out of the drive in exit and darted across the street before pounding the pavement towards our neighbourhood. I couldn't stop the tears or the dull pain in my chest as I realised what was so glaringly obvious to Joey but not me. Mark was using me. He didn't want me to share me, sure, but he didn't love me. I wasn't his one and only.

"Ally!" I heard a voice yell behind me. Not caring who it was, I began to run harder. I wanted to get home and crawl under my duvet and forget the world existed.

"Ally!" the voice yelled again.

I was pretty sure it was Mark this time but this made me all the more determined not to stop. I raced across a residential road and was just about to round a corner when I was rugby tackled and sent flying onto a front lawn.

"For Christ's sake!" Mark swore. He was out of breath and panting.

"Get the hell off of me!" I yelled, shoving him away as though he were an attacker. "Just leave me the hell alone!"

I scrambled up and he did too, grabbing my hand as I tried to take off again.

"That wasn't what it looked like," he said, trying to even his breathing.

"Oh, gee, real original!" I snapped, wrenching my hand free.

"She's a customer, Ally. I was selling her a stereo."

"Funny that, I didn't see no stereo, all I saw was her on your lap!" Angry tears were stinging my eyes but worst of all was the sickening lurch of my stomach.

"Jesus, I just fitted it for her. That was her car, come back and I'll show you. She wanted to make sure it worked."

"She had her fricking arms around you!" I screamed hysterically. "You don't do that to a guy you ain't into!"  
I tried to push him away but he caught my arms. He didn't look mad at me, just impatient.

"That don't mean I'm into her, okay?"

"Well, you can do what you want, Mark," I spat, wrenching my arm free from him. "You always said you weren't my boyfriend so why should I care? I turned down a date with a perfectly nice guy this week 'cause of you and then I catch you practically groping some chick right in front of me!"

"Groping?" He grinned at me which made me all the angrier. Why was everything such a big joke to him?

"From now on, we're done!" I yelled with all the strength I could muster. "No more late night house calls, no more hanging on your every stupid word. We're both free agents, have a nice life!"

With that, I turned round and strode off. I had to make a phone call.

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	15. Those Little Things

**Chapter Fourteen**

"You want anything else?"

Joey looked over at me from across our booth in the Dingo and smiled. I smiled back and shook my head.

"I still can't believe we're in here." He shook his head, grinning. "We could have gone anywhere."

"I don't like fancy restaurants." I shrugged, reaching for my coke.

Joey leant back in his seat, quietly watching me as I drained the glass. I decided his chocolate brown eyes were just as good as golden ones.

Joey couldn't have done any more to please me tonight. He'd been early picking me up and even turned up with flowers. My Mom, who had just been leaving for work, was deadly impressed.

"_A doctor huh?" She'd asked, smiling so hard I thought her face would crack_.

It was all I could do to prise him away from her.

"Another coke?" Joey asked, indicating my empty glass. I shook my head, smiling ruefully.

"Well, then, can we get out of here?"

I nodded and started to get my feet when I noticed Ellen, Darcy and Barbie entering the diner.

"Uh-oh," I said to Joey.

He turned round to get a look but shrugged when he saw them like it was no big deal.

"Ally!" Ellen grinned at me from the doorway as they all came further inside. She did a double take when she saw Joey. She looked back at me then again at her brother.

"Oh, Jesus, are you guys here together?"

"That's right," Joey said, shrugging on his jacket. "What's it to you?"

Darcy and Barbie started grinning but Ellen still looked a bit confused.

"You mean like a date? Aren't you a little old for her?" Ellen wrinkled her nose and Joey started laughing.

"Old?" he chuckled, making his way out of the booth."So a three year gap's now a crime?"

"Well, no-" Ellen looked at us again before breaking out into a smile.

I took this as her sign of approval.

"Look after her, okay?" she smiled, digging her brother in the ribs as he passed. "See you later Ally."

"Bye," I said with a smile.

"Bye," the girls chorused together.

Darcy and Barbie were raising their eyebrows comically and it was all I could do not to burst out laughing.

Once we were outside, Joey and I looked at each other.

"Leave it up to Ellen to make me feel like a total cradle snatcher," Joey said, laughing.

I giggled as we made our way into the parking lot but we had both sobered up by the time we got to the car. Inside, Joey turned to me and cocked his head sideways.

"So what do you wanna do?"

"You choose," I answered "I got a feeling you had it all planned until I railroaded you with the Dingo anyway."

"I kinda did," he admitted, looking a little embarrassed "but I'm starting to wonder if it was all a little too fancy for a girl like you."

As soon as he said it, he realised his mistake and started backtracking.

"I didn't mean a girl like you, like, you're not good enough for fancy, I just meant-" he stammered, trying to find the right words.

I watched him fumble around and couldn't keep the smile off my face. He was so adorable. I loved that he could get embarrassed when I didn't think Mark was even capable of it.

"What I meant-" he said, taking a breath. "-Was that I know you don't need to be impressed to have a good time. You're easy company, Ally."

I couldn't resist teasing him a little more so I widened my eyes as though offended.

"Easy?" I demanded, blinking in shock.

Joey's face fell. He started to stammer again when I leant in and kissed him. I don't know what possessed me. I had never initiated anything with Mark, probably because I was kinda in awe of him. Joey seemed much less threatening.

If Joey had seemed shy for a few minutes, he wasn't when he kissed me back. The kiss was passionate and steamy and it was me who was blushing when he pulled away.

"I think I'll insult you more often," he said, kinda dazedly.

Grinning at him, I sat back as he started the engine.

Joey said he wanted to go somewhere we could talk and he knew just the place. We took off to head through The Ribbon which is a hectic dual carriageway that runs through town. There were kids out everywhere, the restaurants and diners on either side of the road were jam packed and it was only sheer coincidence that I spotted Mark as we stopped at a red light.

He was with Bryon and they were talking to Angela Shepard of all people. She looked wasted and was draping herself all over Bryon. I was surprised. Word had it, Bryon and Cathy were going steady now and I thought going from Cathy back to Angela was a pretty dumb move.

Angela's friends were watching the whole scene with interest, several of them eyeing up Mark like he was prime meat. A hot shooting pain thundered through me, something that I could only recognise as jealousy.

"_We're both free agents..."_

My own words from the previous night came back to haunt me. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't take them back now.

A car blowing its horn behind us made me realise the lights had turned green and the fact that Joey hadn't noticed made me realise he'd seen Mark too. He'd also seen my jealous face as I watched him talk to Angela surrounded by girls.

With a start, Joey pulled off and for a long while, neither of us spoke.

"I'm sorry," I said finally. My voice sounded strangled. "You wanna go home?"

Joey looked sideways at me and shook his head.

"Not unless you do."

I shook my head too and put my hand over his on the gear stick. It was soft and warm. We stayed that way long after he'd pulled off the ribbon and into a wooded lane.

Looking back on it now, I must have really trusted him to let him drive so far off the beaten track at that time of night.

After we turned onto a dirt path through the trees, we really did seem isolated. Joey parked the car and got out, rounding the car to open my door. I got out and looked up at him questioningly. He just held out his hand.

"Come on, I wanna show you something," he said.

By then, I was willing to go anywhere with him. Anything to make up for the way I'd just made him feel.

We walked through the woods for a few minutes until we could see a clearing ahead. Joey picked up his pace and I hurried to keep up. We came out of the trees all at once and found ourselves standing on a steep hillside. Below us, lit up, it seemed the whole of Tulsa was at our feet.

"Wow," I said in amazement as I took in the thousands of dotted lights. "How in the world did you find this place?"

Joey led me over to a huge log and helped me climb up beside him before answering.

"I could tell you this is where I bring all my women," he said cheekily. "Truth is my Grandpa lived not far away. He used to walk his dog here."

I continued to stare down at the lights. They seemed to go on for miles.

"Ally, if nothing comes of tonight, make sure we stay friends." Joey put an arm round me and I sank into his shoulder. I felt safe with him, different than I did with Mark.

With Mark, I felt safe in that I knew he wouldn't let anybody harm me, that they would have to go through him first, the dangerous golden lion. Yet I would fall asleep beside him not knowing if he'd be there in the morning, not knowing when he'd come back or I'd see him again.

Joey was solid. Not only was he tall and strong but he was trustworthy. He was also smart and ambitious, he was going places. Mark would probably end up ducking and diving in Tulsa for good.

"We'll always be friends," I said to Joey, turning my face towards him.

He kissed me, more gently that I'd kissed him and I nestled into him, trying to push Mark to the farthest point of my mind.

For the rest of the night, we stayed on that log, kissing and talking and keeping each other warm under the stars.

I knew it was only Tulsa, but when we looked down at all the sparkling lights, it felt like we had the world at our feet.

8888888888888

The next day was Sunday and by two O clock that afternoon, both Darcy, Ellen and Barbie had called separately.

"So you and Joey huh?" Barbie gushed down the phone. She was the last of the girls to phone and I was getting tired of the same questions.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered unenthusiastically.

"Well, gee, Ally, you could be a little happier. This is Joey 'Hottie' Granger, we're talking about. I thought he was only into college chicks."

"Apparently not," I said, sighing. "How's Two-Bit?"

"Still Two Bit," Barbie said resignedly. "He's fun and all, and I gotta admit, he's kinda cute but he drinks like no tomorrow and gambles just as bad. Last week, I had to pay for dinner 'cause he lost all his cash in a poker game."

I stifled a laugh as I tried to picture Two Bit sticking the cheque on Barbie.

"So, nothing doing with you and Mark then?"

"Nah," I answered, trying to keep my voice even. "I saw him out last night with Angela Shepard and her cronies."

"Ah, you saw her last night then? What do you think of her hair?" Barbie said excitedly.

I frowned as I tried to think back to the previous night. Her hair? What about it?

"Huh?"

"Her hair. She's cut it real short, all them beautiful curls are gone."

"Really?" I didn't remember her hair being any different when I'd seen her. It was hard to imagine her without her waist length blue-black curls.

"Yeah, I saw her buying aspirin at the store this morning, she looked like she needed it," Barbie told me. "She sure looks different but still looks great, the ho."

I rolled my eyes. I could have worked out that much for myself. Angela would always be beautiful. Shame about her lousy personality.

I hung up from Barbs a little while later and wandered out onto the porch. With gusto, I took a little leap backwards and waited for the swing to creak in annoyance.

The only sound was the swish of the air as the swing cut through it. Damn. Someone had oiled the swing.

I sat there in surprise as I realised it could only be one person. When I had been out with Joey last night, Mark must have snuck over and oiled the swing. Why was it, whenever I was mad at him, he did something so sweet and thoughtful that I melted?

I sat there swinging on the silent porch swing as I thought about the time he'd made me soup when I was sick, and put me to bed when I was drunk, and took out my bucket of sick. I thought about the time he'd stood up to Curly in the Dingo and kissed me in his kitchen and asked me over and over if I was sure before he'd made love to me.

Joey was kind and Joey was sweet and he was everything a girl should want from a guy. If things were different, I'd be with Joey in a heartbeat but I couldn't help how I felt for Mark, how I'd always felt. Mark Jennings was my everything and I couldn't shake that off.

Suddenly, there Mark was, strolling down my path, a determined look on his face.

He had on jeans, sneakers and a pale blue sweater, a colour that looked good on him. His golden hair blew untidily in the wind and he walked with an air of authority, a purposefulness. It was then that I knew that he was there to fight for me.

"Ally." Mark hopped up the steps, firmly took my arms and pulled me into a standing position.

I looked up at him, wondering what he would say and where this would all lead. Could anything ever change?

"I know you went out with that Joey kid last night," Mark said earnestly and without any anger.

I found it kinda amusing that he called Joey 'kid' when he was three years older and training to be a doctor no less.

"Yeah," I said, looking deep into his golden eyes.

I saw a little something beyond the emptiness that once was. Some sort of emotion was trying to escape the deadness that usually lurked there.

"I asked around, I know he's a good kid," Mark went on.

I felt my stomach lurch violently. Was he going to give us his blessing? Tell me it was okay?

"I don't care how good a guy someone is," he said firmly, pulling me into an embrace. "I don't want you dating other guys. I don't wanna date other girls. You're my girl, Ally Jenkins."

My mouth fell open and I began to wonder if this was all just some wild dream that I'd conjured up. I'd heard him say those words a thousand times when I was sleeping, just never for real.

"You didn't..." he trailed off anxiously, looking into my eyes with a passion that thrilled me from inside out.

It took me a few seconds to realise what he meant, and that he was referring to me and Joey and what we'd got up to the previous night.

"On the first date?" I demanded incredulously. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

His face broke out into a grin and he pulled me in and kissed me long and deep. I smiled with a radiant happiness I didn't think was possible and then I hugged him tightly. He held me for a long time, silent and strong as I pressed my cheek against his. With his arms around me, I felt invincible.

That is, until I looked up and saw Joey Granger in the gate way. He was paused, mouth half open as if he'd started to say something. The crushed look of surprise and anguish on his face said more than words ever could. Joey was heartbroken.


	16. Getting Even

**Chapter 15**

I tried to call Joey that evening but Ellen said he wasn't home. She sounded sympathetic so I guessed she knew we'd had a fight. I was just glad she wasn't mad at me.

"Ellen, if he comes home, get him to call me okay? Thanks." I put down the receiver and looked over at Mark who was sitting in an armchair. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"No luck?"

"She says he's not there," I sighed.

"You believe her?

"Yeah, she wouldn't lie to me," I answered.

After I had spotted Joey, he had turned and walked back to his car. I had called out and gone out after him but he'd driven away, not making any eye contact. Mark had been pretty good about it and that surprised me.

"Thanks," I said to him."For understanding."

Mark stood up and came over to me, his hands circling my waist.

"He seems like an okay guy," he said. "I guess I was just mad at him before because he could give you what I thought I couldn't."

I looked at him still a little shocked at the turnaround of events. I was now his girl and he was exclusively mine. I still couldn't believe it. He took my hand and led me back to the bedroom where he flopped down on the bed and patted the space beside him.

I dropped down next to him and we lay there quiet for a while.

"So how did this all come about?" I asked him suddenly. "The change of heart, I mean?"

He turned his head slightly and looked into my eyes before reaching out and tracing the side of my face with his finger.

"I didn't wanna lose you," he said simply. "Me and Bryon were with Angela Shepard last night and I just got to thinking how classy you were in comparison."

"I saw you," I said before I could stop myself. "Angela and Bryon looked cosy."

Mark started to laugh.

"It's not what you think."

I looked at him curiously, not getting the joke.

"We cut off her hair."

"You what?!" I gasped, bolting upright.

Mark started to tell me how they got Angela so drunk she passed out then cut off her long curly hair before dumping her on her front lawn. I couldn't believe it.

"The Shepards are gonna kill you..." I groaned.

"They gotta catch me first," he said, golden eyes glinting. He pulled me back down beside him and kissed me gently before getting to his feet.

"I gotta go, Ally. Cathy's brother is missing and I promised Bryon I'd take him to look for him."

"M&M?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah." Mark moved to my bedroom door. "He's been missing for a while now but I think I know where to find him. He's not the most streetwise kid, he needs to come home."

I wasn't surprised to see that Mark looked concerned. He was loyal to those he cared about.

"Alright, I hope you find him," I said. I was a little disappointed but I knew M&M meant a lot to Mark and Bryon and besides, he was only a kid.

Mark pulled the door open.

"Listen, Terry's parents are away. There should be a big party on later at his. Meet me there?"

"Sure." I nodded and smiled at him and then he was gone.

It turned out that Ellen, Darcy and Barb were going to Terry's that night too.

They came round in Darcy's car to pick me up. I found myself next to Ellen with Barbie and Darcy upfront.

"Listen, about Joey..." I said quietly.

Ellen looked at me with understanding grey eyes.

"I'm not mad at you, Ally, I warned Joey about you and Mark, I told him you were soul mates but he didn't care. He told me you were honest with him from the start. That's about all you could have done."

"Thanks," I said, squeezing her arm gratefully.

At Terry's, the party wasn't as busy as it usually was, maybe because we had school the next day. Inside, the stereo was on mid level and there were about twenty kids, dancing, talking and rolling joints in the living room.

In the kitchen, Terry and some of the guys were playing poker, the table littered with cash and beer bottles. Other people stood round watching.

"Hey, Terry, where's Mark?" I asked, as we walked into the kitchen.

Terry didn't look up from his cards.

"Upstairs in the bedroom with Bryon," he answered.

"I knew it!" Darcy said triumphantly. "And to think, you just dumped Joey for a fag!"

Ellen shot her a filthy look and it was then that I realised they all knew. Of course Ellen had told Barbie and Darcy. The guys playing poker didn't pay much attention, too caught up in their game, thank goodness.

"Sorry." Darcy winced. "Was that like a secret?"

I rolled my eyes.

"What are they doing up there?" I called to Terry again.

"Well, I woulda thought that much was obvious," Darcy muttered.

"Douglas took a pasting off the Shepards," Terry called back. "A little quiet now, Ladies, I'm tryna concentrate."

I instantly wondered whether Mark was hurt too. I gave the girls a worried look.

"Go," Ellen said, nodding upstairs."We'll be here."

I gave her a grateful look and hurried back through the living room to find the stairs. I opened two bedroom doors before a gruff voice said:

"Get outta here, this room's taken."

"Mark?" I slipped inside the room to see Mark sitting on a chair by a bed Bryon was asleep in. The light was out, but a streetlight outside shed enough light for me to see Bryon was pretty banged up. Apart from looking a little upset, Mark seemed untouched.

"You okay?" I whispered to him.

He put a finger to his lips and indicated that we go into the hall. I slipped outside and he followed, slowly closing the door behind himself.

I felt unnerved by how upset he looked. He took me into his arms and held me really tight for a long time. Finally, it was me who pulled away.

"Is Bryon okay?" I asked.

Mark looked mad now.

"No, no he's not. Them damned Shepards nearly killed him and he won't let me get even for him."

He took my hand and led me over to the stairs where we both sat down on the top step.

"I'm sorry about this, Ally, I wanted to spend tonight with you. I just came over here and found him all smashed up in the yard. Jesus, I thought he was dead."

There were tears in his eyes so I reached up to touch his face.

"It's okay," I said softly. "He'll be okay."

"Why's he being such an ass?" Mark demanded, as though I'd have an answer. "Why won't he let me look up the Shepards?"

"Maybe he's tired of it all. It's pretty stupid to keep jumping each other." I shrugged. I had never gotten why they had to alternately beat the living hell out of each other. It seemed pointless.

Mark glared at me.

"You sound just like Bryon."

"Well, there's something I never thought I'd hear you say," I said, attempting humour.

Mark didn't smile.

"They did it 'cause of me. 'Cause I cut off Angela's hair."

I shook my head in disagreement.

"You were both there."

"No!" Mark said forcefully. "I planned it, I cut off her hair, it was all me. I started thinking about that night she was so awful to you and when she got that guy to start in on Pony and got me in the hospital...I wanted to get even."

"You did, and now so have they." I sighed.

I knew he was upset but I couldn't see how hunting the Shepards down and waiting for them to retaliate was the answer.

We sat in the quiet for a while and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He let me for a few seconds before he said;

"I gotta go sit with Bryon, he's in a bad way. You hang out though."

He stood up but I shook my head.

"I only really came to see you. I got homework anyways."

"Oh." Mark looked kinda guilty. "You want me to walk you home?"

"No, you stay here with Bryon. I can walk."

I knew ordinarily he would protest at this hour but he was sick with worry over Bryon.

He helped me up and gave me a long lingering kiss before disappearing back into the bedroom.

888888888

The next day Mark didn't go to school. Instead he drove Bryon to the hospital. I saw them pull up into the Douglas driveway in Charlie's old car as Darcy dropped me off after school let out. I don't think either of them saw me. I considered going over to see how Bryon was but decided against it. We still weren't friends. It would just be too weird.

A half hour or so later, Mark let himself into my house. I was watching television with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Hey." He came into the living room and bent down to kiss me.

"Hey, how's Bryon doing?" I sat up straighter.

"Much better," he said, sitting down on the arm of the chair. "Stitches in his lips, broken ribs, black eye, but nothing he can't handle."

"That's good," I answered, not really sure if it was.

"I came to ask a favour actually," Mark said "the last three payphones I just tried weren't working. Damn kids."

His smile was infectious and I found myself marvelling again that he was mine.

"Can I use the phone? I promised Bryon I'd call Cathy for him."

"Yeah, sure," I waved him towards it and he went over and picked it up.

I went into the kitchen to give him some privacy and when I came back, he was done.

"She okay?" I asked.

"She freaked out a bit. I guess she knew if I was calling, it had to be serious."

"You guys still not seeing eye to eye?" I asked sympathetically. I knew Bryon meant the world to Mark and since Cathy had come along they'd seen less and less of each other.

Mark shrugged but then flashed me a grin.

"So..." He caught me up in his arms quick as a flash. "How about tonight we go out and celebrate the end of my bachelorhood?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. Jesus, we weren't getting married.

"Don't you think we should be celebrating the beginning of us not the end of your singledom?" I asked wryly.

Mark threw back his head and laughed loudly.

"How about we do that tomorrow?"

He swung me round playfully and then planted a kiss on my lips.

"Have you just commit yourself to two consecutive dates with me?" I asked, looking up at him incredulously.

"Yep," he agreed readily. "With Bryon banged up Cathy'll be round at ours every waking minute. I don't plan to stay in for that."

"Gee, thanks, Romeo," I said, rolling my eyes.


	17. Of All The Bars In All The World

**Chapter Sixteen**

"You get much sleep last night?" he asked me, leaning in so we were nose to nose. I tried to suppress a smile.

We'd gone to the movies the night before, just me and Mark, and then we'd come home with the intention of going straight to the bedroom. Unfortunately, my Mom had been home and literally caught us kissing in the hall with Mark steering me towards my room.

"_Mom," I'd said in surprise "What are you- I mean the trucks not outside?"_

"_It's in the shop," she countered, still looking from Mark to me in shock._

"_So it finally happened huh?" She shook her head as she looked at us both. Mark dropped his arms from about me and gave her a big smile._

"_What guy could resist Ally when she looks just like you, Mrs J?" _

"_Oh, gimme a break," I gagged._

_Mom smiled at Mark but then she folded her arms firmly._

"_So you two weren't going to make yourself comfortable in the bedroom then?"_

"_Yeah, what's wrong with that-" Mark started, feigning innocence. He then gasped theatrically at her "Mrs J, what a filthy mind you have!"_

"_Mark, shut the hell up," I mumbled, wanting the floor to swallow me up. I couldn't see how he found it so funny. I wanted to die._

"_Goodnight Mark," Mom said, half smiling but giving him a pointed look._

"_Okay, okay, I can take a hin.," Mark winked at me as he headed for the front door. I knew what that wink meant; ' I'll see you in there.'_

_When he was gone, Mom fixed me with a hard stare._

"_What happened to the doctor?"_

"_Ah, Mom, Joey's just a friend," I groaned, covering my hand with my face. I could feel the warmth of my cheeks against my fingers. Did she have to humiliate me like this?_

"_Well, I can't say I didn't see this one coming." Mom smiled. "Just be sensible and that means, being careful. Are you prepared Ally?"_

_Lord, I wanted to fall through the floor. She was giving me the safe sex talk, one she'd already put me through aged fourteen. What did she think I was, an idiot?_

_No, I didn't have condoms stashed in every drawer but Mark was always prepared- I wouldn't take stupid chances and neither would he._

"_Mom, I'm going to bed now," I said, turning my back on her._

"_Ally, I don't want Mark in your room anymore, I mean it. You two aren't kids anymore,"she called after me._

_She could have fooled me the way she was talking._

_I took my shoes off and flopped down on the bed waiting for Mark to make an appearance. That was when Mom followed me into the room jangling some keys._

"_What are you doing?" I asked uneasily as she crossed the room to the window. She tore back the curtains and came face to face with a grinning Mark on the other side of the glass. His voice drifted in through the slightly ajar window._

"_Mrs J!" he exclaimed not losing his grin for a second. "May I say you're looking mighty fine today?"_

"_Goodnight Mark," Mom said again._

_With that, she used the keys to lock the window. I guess she was smarter than I gave her credit for._

"Your old lady sure was tough last night." Mark brought me back to the present as he leant towards me."I was tempted to come break you out."

I started to giggle and he laughed too.

"So did you tell Bryon yet?" I asked when we were both done laughing.

Mark rubbed the back of his neck and frowned.

"Naw, not yet, I figured I'd wait until he was on his feet again."

I narrowed my eyes and he pushed me gently, in the fashion he had when we were buddies.

"Don't be like that, Ally, I told you I'd tell him but he's acting all weird right now. The thing with Charlie and M&M being missing has kinda messed him up."

"It's okay." I sighed. "But he might hear it from someone else before you which would piss him off no end."

"Quit worrying." Mark backed me into the lockers and kissed me long and hard. I felt myself being swept away, forgetting I was at school, not knowing where I was, just knowing I was with Mark.

"Get out of here!" Someone suddenly screeched from behind us.

We both turned to see Angela Shepard frozen to the spot in disgust.

"Surely you ain't that hard up, Mark?" She said, raising her perfectly shaped eyebrows. Barbie had been right. Her hair did look good short.

"Well, I ain't turned up on your doorstep, Angel, so I guess I'm doing okay," Mark retorted smartly.

Angela scowled at him and then grinned wickedly.

"I hear your boy Bryon ain't looking too good," she simpered.

I felt Mark tense up beside me. He was fuming but I reckoned only I could tell.

"Just as good as you look with short hair," he said nonchalantly, turning and leaning against the lockers. "You gotta give me the name of your hairdresser sometime."

I started to laugh and Angela turned red before spinning on her heel and leaving.

"Stupid broad," Mark muttered, watching her go.

It took him a few seconds to focus on me again but when he did he was his usual smiley self.

"Hey, there's a party at Bucks later," he told me. "You wanna go?"

"Bucks?" I wrinkled my nose. Buck Merril ran a bar on the outskirts of town, a bar that was well known for gambling and fighting.

It was also well known for the rooms upstairs he rented out. Buck rented by the night but everybody knew the rooms were often occupied for just the hour.

"Come on, it's a party," he persisted. "Besides, with your Mom on surveillance we might be needing to rent a room."

I smacked him on the arm and laughed.

"Come on, I'll walk you to class," he said, draping an arm round my shoulders.

"I got Math," I said in confusion. "You've got English right over there."

I pointed at Mrs Davidson's classroom where Mark should be but he steered me right past it.

"I know, why d'you think I'm walking you?" He grinned, pulling me in and kissing my forehead.

Laughing, we made our way down the hall.

88888888888888

"So we're really going in there?" Barbie asked.

We had pulled into Buck's parking lot in Two-Bit's car. Me, Mark, Ponyboy, Two-Bit and Barbie. Except Barbie wasn't quite convinced yet. She remained in the passenger seat looking at the entrance to Bucks in a mixture of awe and horror.

"It looks so shabby. I always thought girls just went there to get laid."

"You're the one who wanted to double date," I reminded her patiently. "So here we are. You coming in or not?"

I wasn't exactly sold on the idea of Buck's myself but if it meant me and Mark would be out together, I decided I'd deal.

"Ah, that does it, I'm leaving," Ponyboy said, backing away from us. "I knew I was being a tag along even before you just called it a double date."

"It ain't no double date, Pone." Two-Bit grabbed his friend and got him into a headlock "And if it is, I'm here with you, Buddy. Barbs is the tag along."

Barbie ignored the joke, sighing and finally getting out of the car.

"I guess if you can handle it then I can too," she said to me. I knew what she meant. She was definitely more the party type than I was.

Ponyboy struggled to free himself from Two-Bit and then looked back at Bucks.

"Darry'll skin me if he finds out I'm here, Two-Bit."

"Well, what Darry don't know won't hurt him, Kid. Come on, relax," Two-Bit gave Pony a little shove towards Bucks and Barbie followed them uncertainly.

"Who's Darry?" I whispered to Mark as we trailed after them.

"His big brother," Mark explained. "His parents were killed in a car wreck."

Mark said this in a real sympathetic voice like it never occurred to him that his own parents were dead too.

Inside Bucks, the juke box was playing Elvis and the party was already swinging. I didn't much get what the big deal was. The crowd may have been a little older but to me, it was much the same as Darcy's party had been. Booze, smoke, girls in short skirts and guys with their hunting faces on.

"Come on, let's go get us a drink," Two-Bit said, nodding to a few people as he wound his way through the crowd to the bar. We all followed, Mark first and Ponyboy, Barbie and me following uneasily.

We came to stop at a counter top that was swimming in beer. Barbs made the mistake of leaning her elbows on it.

"Ew, gross!" She exclaimed, shaking her arms off and letting droplets fly every which way.

"It's raining beer." Two-Bit grinned as the most of it hit him. "I've died and gone to heaven."

"What'll it be Mathews?" the barman asked with a sigh. "And before you ask, Buck said you're out of credit. You pay with cash and you got 'til next week to pay off your tab."

"Hey." Two-Bit looked genuinely offended "When have I ever not been good for it, Jerry?"

"I'll ignore that," Jerry said dryly. "What'll it be?"

"Five beers," Two-Bit said with a smile, producing some money.

"Four beers and a glass of white wine," Barbie cut in, annoyed. "Are you ever gonna get that straight?"

I tugged on Mark's arm.

"Just a coke's fine," I said to him.

Mark looked at me with amused eyes.

"One drink ain't gonna kill you, Ally."

"Did you forget what happened last time I was drinking?" I hissed at him.

He gave me a quizzical look like he didn't quite understand.

"That was different. You're with me tonight. You want wine instead of beer?"

By now, Two-Bit, Barbie, Pony and the barman were all looking at me.

"No, "I said firmly."I just want a coke."

"You tell him, Kid," Two-Bit said, winking at me. "Way to not cave to peer pressure and save your buddy, Two-Bit, some cash at the same time."

He turned back to the barman.

"Lemme get this straight; three beers, a white wine and a coke. Jeez, chicks are so complicated."

When everybody's attention was elsewhere, Mark grabbed me from behind and put his mouth close to my ear.

"I love that you're you," he said.

The music was kinda loud and it was such an Un-Mark like thing to say that at first I thought I'd misheard, but when I looked up at him, he was smiling from his eyes right down to his mouth.

"Here, lookit, a table!" Two-Bit suddenly yelled gleefully as some girls got up to dance "Man, I love this place!"

I wondered if he was drunk because he always seemed on top of the world to me.

Mark and I wandered over and sat at the table to save it. Two-Bit, Pony and Barbie soon followed with the drinks.

Two-Bit started to sing along to the music in an awful howl making Barbie grimace and everybody else laugh.

"_You aint nothing but a hound dog, hounding all the time. You aint nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time."_

The lyrics were a little off but he sang with such passion no one had the heart to correct him.

"_You ain't nothing but a hound dog and you ain't no- _why Sodapop Curtis!"

Two-Bit straightened in his seat and grinned at a devastatingly handsome boy a table away who bore some resemblance to Ponyboy. I recognised him from the gas station as Pony's brother, Soda.

"You live here on a permanent basis, Two-Bit?" said a boy next to Soda with brown curly hair and a smirk.

"Almost, Steve." Two-Bit smiled easily.

I guess it was then that Soda and a slouching Ponyboy locked eyes.

"Ponyboy Curtis!" Soda gasped. "What the hell are you doin' in here?"

Pony looked embarrassed for a moment but then he straightened up.

"Same thing you are, Soda. Having a beer." He raised his bottle.

"Well, who knew you had it in you, kid?" Steve smirked at Ponyboy but Soda looked worried. He got up, came over to our table and pulled up a chair. Steve followed, taking his own chair with him since there were none left spare.

"Darry'll throw a fit if he finds out you were in here, Pony," Soda said, pulling his chair closer to his brother. Up close he was even better looking, I thought, but nobody anywhere could outshine Mark. You couldn't find that hair and eye colour on anyone else if you tried.

"He'll have a fit if he finds you in here too," Pony answered with a shrug.

Soda sat up taller, an annoyed look on his usually smiling face.

"Shoot, little brother, I'm nineteen years old which makes me three years older than you and able to go where the hell I want."

Steve watched with this with an amused expression, as if Soda getting tense was a rarity.

"Cut it out, Soda. Darry's exact words were _'I don't care if you're drawing your pension, if I catch you in Buck Merill's place, I'll bust your head in_.'"

Soda looked a little embarrassed so I guess that was why Two-Bit piped up;

"And what do you think he'll do to you for riding shotgun, Stevie?"

Steve scowled at Two-Bit as he lit up a cigarette.

"I'd take being Soda's chaperone to Pony's any day of the week. Darry will cut you in two, smart mouth."

There was a sort of awkward silence. I got to thinking this Darry must be a pretty frightening guy to have these four worried. I looked at Mark but he was just leaning back watching the exchange, smiling and smoking a cigarette.

"So since no one's gonna benefit from Darry finding out," Two-Bit drawled, "how's about we all get so drunk that tomorrow we'll have forgotten we were ever here?"

"I'll drink to that," Steve said, raising his bottle. Two-Bit, Soda and Pony raised theirs too and the four of them clinked their drinks together in solidarity.

"You guys quite finished?" Barbie picked up her wine glass and took a sip. "You gonna dance with me or what, Mathews?"

Two-Bit was out of his seat in a shot, bowing dramatically and holding out his arm. Laughing, Barbie let him lead her out onto the floor.

"So, Two-Bit's really into the blonde, huh?" Steve asked, watching them laugh and dance out on the dancefloor.

"Well, there's a line I ain't heard before..." Soda joked.

Ponyboy suddenly seemed to remember his manners.

"Hey, sorry Ally, this is my brother Sodapop and this is Steve. Guys, this is Ally."

Sodapop smiled hello and Steve nodded at me before looking at Mark with interest.

"She your girl, Mark?"

Mark looked at me and smiled.

"Yeah," he said, sure as anything. "Yeah, she is."

I felt myself glow from the inside out.

One by one, the guys drifted off to talk to other people. Ponyboy got collared by a pretty brunette who dragged him onto the dance floor. He put up a bit of protest at first but the girl was cute, she smiled a lot and she danced well. Pretty soon, he looked like he was having a good time. Mark and me stayed snuggled up in the corner, only getting up for drinks.

We didn't say much and we didn't sit in the corner sucking face like a lot of the couples were doing. Instead, he sat with his arm round me, tapping his feet to the music. I leant back against him, drumming my fingers on the table top in time to the music. It was like we were just enjoying being a couple for the first time and there wasn't any need for words.

I was just wondering what everybody had against Bucks when it all started to make sense.

Mark had gone to the bathroom so I had gone up to the bar for drinks. I was still a little shocked that the barman didn't even bat an eyelid at the school aged kids drinking but Ponyboy was at the bar anyway so I didn't feel too worried.

"Where's your friend?" I grinned at him.

Ponyboy grinned back. He was sweating from the vigorous dancing he had been doing for the last half hour.

"She had a curfew, thank the Lord. One more dance and she woulda killed me."

Ponyboy's smile suddenly froze on his face and he stared at something or someone over my shoulder, his face becoming hard. He was barely recognisable as he narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists. Something had got him spooked.


	18. Me Too

**Chapter Seventeen**

I looked back to where Ponyboy was staring but all I could see was a crowded room of people, laughing, dancing and drinking.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Uh-yeah." Ponyboy looked back at me vaguely. "Where's Mark?"

"Bathroom," I answered. "He said to get you a drink. He's paying."

I waved a five dollar note at him but Pony just nodded distractedly.

"Hey, Pone, where's your girlfriend?" Steve, looking slightly tipsy, stood next to us and leaned over the bar.

Pony turned his attention to Steve who started ribbing him something awful about the girl he had been dancing with. It was then a tall stocky boy with black hair and big bushy eyebrows tapped Ponyboy smartly on the shoulder.

"What's happening, horseboy?"

Ponyboy turned around and went rigid with anger. Steve, sensing this, slouched down and put an elbow on Pony's shoulder.

"You got a problem, Jackson?" he demanded, lifting his chin aggressively.

"Not with you, Randle." Jackson shook his head, still grinning provocatively at Ponyboy. I didn't like the way his smile never quite reached his eyes.

"Well, this here is practically my little brother. You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me. You dig?"

"It's cool, Steve," Ponyboy said, staring hard at Jackson. "We been here before, aint we buddy?"

I don't know if Jackson was afraid of Steve but he took a little step back and said;

"Yeah, and we'll be there again sometime_ real_ soon. See ya around, horseboy."

With that, he disappeared into the crowd.

Steve instantly dropped his arm from Pony's shoulder and glared at him angrily.

"What the hell was that about, kid?"

"How do you know him?" Pony asked Steve at the same time.

They both started to talk at once and as I looked from one to the other, I couldn't understand a word. That was when I felt an arm slip round me.

"What's goin' on?" Mark grinned at us, oblivious to the tension.

"Mark, you aint gonna believe who's here," Ponyboy said through gritted teeth.

"Who?" Mark looked non plussed. "You get the drinks yet, Ally?"

I shook my head but said nothing. I was starting to get a real bad feeling in my stomach.

"Karl Jackson, he's with the East Side Tigers," Steve said, looking from Mark to Ponyboy. "Will you two tell me what the hell is goin' on?"

Mark was apparently as clueless as Steve was.

"Who's Karl Jackson?" He darted a look around before leaning over the bar until his head disappeared from view. He resurfaced with a beer in a matter of seconds.

"Golly, that is one trick I gotta learn..." Steve said, looking at the stolen beer bottle in awe, his frustration momentarily forgotten. Mark had moved so quickly nobody had noticed a thing, least of all the barman who was at the other end of the bar talking to a pretty girl.

"Jesus, Mark, will you take a look at who it is!" Ponyboy yelled, grabbing Mark's shoulder and pointing out Karl Jackson who was standing about ten feet away.

"Son-of-a-bitch," Mark muttered, his face taking on a dangerous look I'd learned to spot.

He gave me his bottle and started pushing his way through the crowd. Pony started after him and me and Steve followed.

"What's goin' on?" I shouted above the music to Ponyboy. Ponyboy only looked back for a second but I think he saw how worried I was.

"That's the guy that bottled Mark."

Everything clicked into place. Angela Shepard had set Jackson on Ponyboy. They had started fighting and Mark had stepped in when Jackson picked a bottle up. After that, Jackson had cracked Mark over the head before the local cop had arrested him. This was not gonna end well.

Mark walked right up to Karl Jackson, stepping past the guys he was talking to so he was in the middle of their conversation. He smiled a dangerous smile.

"Remember me, pal?"

Jackson looked at Mark for a moment then threw back his head and laughed.

"Hey, Humpty Dumpty! They _did_ put you back together again!"

"Yeah, that's real funny," Mark said coolly. "How about we step outside and finish up properly? You and me, you can leave your bottle or you can bring it. Don't bother me either way."

Jackson snorted.

"Lead the way, kid."

With that, almost everybody at Bucks trooped outside.

When I managed to fight my way out there, Jackson stood, surrounded by his buddies, laughing and joking.

Mark stood a few feet away, not looking at anyone else or saying a word. He had his eyes firmly fixed on Jackson.

"Don't do this, Mark," I grabbed his arm but he shook me off.

"Get out the way, Ally," he said quietly.

Soda, Steve, Two-Bit and Ponyboy stood behind Mark, ready to defend him if anyone else got involved.

I nervously shifted my weight from foot to foot and then sighing, moved right out of the way to where Barbie was standing with hers and Two-Bit's drinks. There was nothing to do but watch. I couldn't stop him, I knew that much.

Jackson strutted arrogantly forward and looked back at his buddies, the East Side Tigers.

"This'll be over in a second, boys," he called back to them cockily.

Mark strode forward purposely, headed right for Jackson.

"Come on-" Jackson didn't get to finish his sentence because it was right about then that Mark delivered an earth shattering blow, felling him instantly and knocking out his two front teeth.

The crowd gasped or cheered, depending on who they were rooting for but most people were disappointed. The fight was over.

Mark picked up Jackson by the scruff of his neck. His face was covered in blood and he was semi conscious.

"And I didn't need no bottle either," Mark said before he dropped him face down back into the dirt.

The East Side Tigers made their way over so Mark stood his ground as Ponyboy and the others walked out to meet them.

"Fair fight." Soda shrugged at the other gang. "One on one, you can't argue with that."

The gang muttered their dislike for what Mark had did as they picked their fallen comrade off the ground but none of them could argue. It had been one on one, fair and square.

"Well, alrighty!" Two-Bit yelled at the crowd as Jackson was carried off to a friend's car. "Whoever finds Jackson's teeth gets a free drink at the bar...on me!"

The crowd roared with laughter.

Once we were all back inside, we sat back down at our table. Mark's knuckles were swollen and split on his right hand but if he felt it, he didn't let on.

"Well, you sure work fast, Jennings," Steve commented as Mark slid his arm round me like nothing had happened.

Steve was right. It had been a mere six minutes since Mark had asked Jackson to step outside.

"Less talking, more walking, that's my motto," Mark shrugged, taking a swig of his beer. I had expected him to be shaking or at least tense but leaning back on him, I could feel he was as relaxed as could be. His indifference was worrying and strangely sexy at the same time.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful until about midnight when Ponyboy said he had to be getting home.

"Aw, shoot, Kid," Two-Bit said. "I was gonna get me and Barbie a room. I ain't in no fit state to be driving."

Ponyboy laughed but Barbie looked annoyed.

"Is that how you proposition a girl, Mathews?" She snapped.

"Hell, no, baby. I'll sleep on the floor," Two-Bit said, all innocent. This set everybody off into laughter.

"I'm about ready to take off anyway," Steve said to Ponyboy. "You can jump in with Soda and me."

"Mark? Ally?" Soda asked us. "You guys need a ride?"

Mark looked at me and I looked at him. We both smiled.

"No thanks, Curtis," Mark responded. "We're gonna hang a while."

So Pony, Soda and Steve waved their goodbyes and Two-Bit led Barbie away to find Buck and inquire about that room. Me and Mark went over to the bar.

I guess it was about twenty minutes later that Mark and I were upstairs in one of Buck's grotty bedrooms tearing off each other's clothes.

"I thought you were kidding about renting a room." I gasped as he lifted me into his arms and pressed me against the back of the door.

"Less talking, more walking," Mark murmured as he unclipped my bra.

I must have been high on Mark 'cause I'd stayed on the Coca Cola all night and there was no other good reason I should ever have been upstairs at Bucks. However, my Mom was on the warpath about Mark staying over and he didn't even have the window to escape out of or climb through anymore since she'd locked it. There was no room at the Douglas's because Mark roomed with Bryon so Buck's place would have to do.

At first we had lustful urgent sex but the second time round we slowed it right down. If it didn't sound so corny, I guess I'd say we made love, cause that's what it felt like to me.

"I love you, Mark Jennings," I whispered to him as I looked up into his brilliant yellow eyes.

He halted and looked at me for long moments, seeming troubled for a while.

"What you thinking?" I whispered, as I kissed his neck.

Mark smiled at me slowly and shook his head like something was dawning on him.

"I guess I was thinking, me too."

That was the closest he ever got to telling me he loved me, but it was more than enough for me.

**Please review :)**


	19. I'll See Ya'

**Chapter Eighteen**

It was gone eleven o clock when I woke up the next morning. The sun was streaming through the cheap blind and when I squinted at my watch, I nearly had heart failure. School had started hours ago.

"Christ!" I yelled, trying to climb over Mark in the tiny single bed we shared. I accidentally put my knee down on his thigh and he groaned and sat up sharply, knocking me off of the bed and onto the floor. Yeah, real graceful.

"Glory, Ally, what are you doing?" Mark mumbled, sinking back down and rubbing a hand over his face.

"It's eleven o clock," I said to him, scrambling to my feet. I had on just panties and his t-shirt so I started a frantic search for the rest of my clothes.

"So?"

"So we're late for school! Have you seen my bra?"

Mark turned over onto his side and gave me an amused look through sleepy eyes.

"Half the day's gone. No point in going now."

I rolled my eyes at him as I pulled on my crumpled jeans.

"You know where the bus runs from here?" I asked him, sitting down to pull on my socks.

"Who cares? Come back to bed." Mark grabbed hold of me and tried to haul me back into bed. I struggled defiantly.

"Mark! I gotta get home, get changed and then get to school. What if my Mom noticed I didn't come home last night?"

"Wasn't she working?"

"Yeah, but what if she checked on me when she came home?"

"Doubtful." Mark shrugged and again tried to pull me into bed. He was stronger than me and before I knew it, I was beside him on the pillow.

I let him kiss me, sinking into his arms with a sigh. He was just too darn hard to resist sometimes.

"You know you always look the same, even in the mornings," Mark said, pushing a stray lock of hair out of my eyes. "I've been with some chicks who don't look like the same person without their makeup on."

I stiffened. Why did he have to bring up other girls? He smiled sheepishly at me.

"Sorry. That was my half assed attempt at a compliment."

He kissed me again and as the sun streamed through the window, I remembered him asking me if I'd ever thought of getting away to somewhere where it's always hot, where I didn't know anybody. I closed my eyes and tried to picture that beach hut again, leaving Bucks shabby bedroom far behind.

"I aint interrupting anything, am I folks?"

I jumped at the sound of Two-Bit's voice and I looked up to see him poke his head round the door.

"Get out of here, Mathews!" Mark snapped, bolting upright in bed.

"Well, I was just seeing if you two wanted a ride home but that's fine..." Laughing, he banged the door shut behind himself.

"I oughta knock his block off," Mark muttered, reaching for his jeans and pulling out some cigarettes. He lit one up and sank back down on the bed.

"He didn't mean nothing by it," I said, putting my face in his neck. "We probably should hitch a ride with him."

"Yeah." Mark nodded, unable to stay mad with Two-Bit. Nobody ever seemed to be able to.

I got up and started hunting down my bra again. He watched me for a moment as he smoked then a smile spread across his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Look up," he said, still smiling.

I glanced up, confused, to see my white bra hanging from the light fitting, thrown thoughtlessly in the throes of passion. I blushed something awful.

"Oh God, do you think Two-Bit saw?" I cringed.

Mark started laughing at my stricken expression.

"Naw. You think Two-Bit could have seen that and not mentioned it?"

Realising he was right, I started laughing too and reached up to pull it down. After putting it on I then found my blouse, laced up my sneakers and went out to find Barbie and Two-Bit.

Mom wasn't home when Two-Bit dropped us back. She'd left me out money for school and there was no threatening note so I knew she hadn't realised I hadn't come home. Mark went home to grab a shower but came back later that afternoon.

We crashed out on the sofa and watched a few daytime shows before we both started getting hungry.

"Shall we go to the Dingo?" Mark asked, stretching slowly and powerfully like a jungle cat.

I looked at him curiously. He seemed to have an endless supply of money lately. The night before he'd spent a small fortune buying everyone drinks.

"You paying?" I asked him.

"Sure." He grinned at me like I was stupid to imply anything else.

"Been selling a lot of car stereos, huh?" I said, turning to face him but trying to keep my voice light. Mark's smile faded.

"You got something to say, Ally, then just come out and say it."

I was a little taken aback at his bluntness. I'd expected him to skirt round the subject a little, at least.

"Just you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself, that's all." I shrugged.

Mark looked at me coolly and his gaze started making me feel uneasy.

"It ain't none of your business how I make my money," he said evenly. "The main thing is, I been giving Bryon's old lady enough money so she don't gotta do any overtime. With all of us working, she ain't looking so tired no more."

I softened at this. He was doing it to help his family financially, something I had never had to do. Maybe that was why I didn't understand. Still, I couldn't help but remember the fight he'd gotten into over selling drugs, something that I was never gonna commend him for.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Mark looked at me with burning golden eyes and then seemed to shrug it off. The look was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"So...you wanna go to the Dingo?" he asked again.

"How about I cook?" I said, getting to my feet "Spaghetti Bolognese?"

Mark nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I guess you owe me a meal after the gourmet soup I made you."

I rolled my eyes and he followed me into the kitchen.

Mark was sitting at the table while I stirred the Bolognese sauce when Barbie and Two-Bit knocked. I went out and let them inside.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked as they followed me into the kitchen.

"You ain't seen her earring have ya, Ally? We been looking all over the place," Two-Bit, for once, was looking a little pissed off. I guessed he was probably hung over.

"I told you I didn't wanna stay last night," Barbie snapped at him as she came over and sat down next to Mark.

"Well, nobody forced you, Barbie Doll, and it's just a damned earring, so get over it." Two-Bit slouched against the counter. "Oh, hi Jennings."

"What's doin, Two-Bit?" Mark answered, sipping from his glass of milk.

_"She's_ doing," Two-Bit grumbled. "Doing my head in is what."

"Were the earrings expensive?" I cut in quickly, going back to stirring the sauce. Barbie looked like she was ready to kill him and Two-Bit looked like he was beyond caring.

"Well, yeah, kinda." Barbie looked mighty fed up "We looked at Bucks, we looked outside, we checked Two-Bit's car. I don't understand where it's gone!"

"Right, listen!" Two- Bit suddenly snapped, putting a hand to his head as if to ward off a jarring headache. "You shut the hell up and never mention the damned earring again and I'll buy you a new pair. Is that a deal?"

Barbie thought this over for a moment and must have decided this was a pretty good deal because she stopped pouting.

"Okay."

"Well, thank the Lord!" Two-Bit said, pulling out a chair next to her "What ya cooking, Ally Cat?"

"Don't call me that," I grimaced "you make me sound like a mangy stray!"

Barbie and Mark laughed at my comment.

"It's kinda fitting though considering your boy here's got eyes like a Tom Cat," Two-Bit observed "it almost ain't natural."

"And them sideburns are?" Mark retorted, commenting on Two-Bit's long reddish hair.

"Hell no, it takes time to grow these just right," Two-Bit said, stroking both sides of his hair. "So is that Spaghetti Bolognese? And more importantly, is there enough to go around?"

I looked at his eager face and laughed.

"Yeah sure, Two-Bit, there's enough."

We all sat down and ate together comfortably. Mark looked a little distant as though he were thinking about something else. After we'd eaten, we wandered into the living room and Two-Bit found some cartoons on TV.

"He's so immature," Barbie grumbled, sitting down beside me.

"Well, you and him seem pretty much joined at the hip," I said to her. She blushed.

"I guess so. I got a little drunk last night," she whispered, "we ended up going all the way."

I nodded but didn't answer. I wasn't into sharing intimate moments. Those belonged to me and Mark.

"Right, I gotta make a move." Mark suddenly stood up. "Walk me out, Ally? "

I got up obediently and started to walk him out.

"See ya later," he said to Barbie and Two-Bit.

"Bye," they called out after him.

Outside, Mark flopped down on the porch swing.

"Hey." He smiled up at me. "You oiled it."

"Yeah, yeah, very funny." I grinned back. "Where you going?"

"I gotta make some cash," he said, pulling me down beside him. "I wanna take you somewhere nice this weekend."

I took his hand and looked into his eyes.

"You haven't gotta take me anywhere," I said. "Don't worry about that."

Mark leaned towards me, pinning me against the swing, his eyes playful.

"Listen, Jenkins, if I wanna take my girl somewhere nice Saturday night then I sure as hell will, okay?" He grinned at me. "I'm getting pretty used to how that sounds now. 'My girl,'" he repeated.

I shook my head, thinking how far we'd come in just a few short days. It was only last weekend that I had been out on a date with someone else. I felt a pang of guilt as I thought about Joey. I still couldn't shake the image of his crumpled face from my mind, but what could I do? I was with Mark now, and nothing felt more right.

Mark gave me a quick kiss, leapt up and vaulted over the rail like he used to when we were kids. He landed on his feet with the agility of a cat and turned back to grin at me.

"I still got it," he said winking and backing away from me as he crossed the lawn.

I can still see him now, backing towards the street, his golden hair glinting in the sun. I can still see the smile on his face and the bounce in his step as he called over to me;

"I'll see ya."

I had smiled back feeling like my heart would burst, and called back;

"Sooner rather than later, I hope!"

Little did either of us know, hoping wouldn't do either of us the slightest bit of good.


	20. He Ain't On This Planet No More

**Chapter Nineteen**

_I was dreaming about the police sirens flashing through my living room window. It was the night Mark's parents had killed each other and I had the same sickened feeling in my stomach. Where was Mark? Where had he got to?_

It was morning when I woke up on the sofa. Someone had thrown a blanket over at me and I struggled to remember how I had ended up there. That was it. I'd been waiting for Mark to come over. Had he showed up? Maybe he couldn't wake me? I looked across the room to see my mother hunched over in a chair, her face pale and drawn. I sat up with a start.

"Mom?"

"You're awake," she said, sounding relieved and worried at the same time.

She got up quickly, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the sofa.

"What's happened? Is everything okay?" I asked. I touched her arm. It was clear she'd been crying, something she never did.

"Did you know Mark was selling drugs, Ally?" She asked me. I looked into her brown eyes so like my own, filled with a desperate hope that I would give her the answer she wanted.

"No," I said, starting to feel sick. "What's going on?"

"He's been arrested," she said. "The police came and took him away last night."

_So the sirens hadn't been in my dream. They'd been real._ He'd been arrested right outside my window while I slept.

"What?!" I exclaimed hysterically, jumping off the sofa. "What's happening? How do you know this?"

Mom shook her head sadly.

"I saw Bernie at the end of the drive when I got home last night," she said. I struggled to make sense of this and then remembered that Bernie was Mrs Douglas's first name.

"Mom, please tell me you're joking..." I started to cry and shake and I fought down the urge to vomit. With Mark's record there was no question that he was headed straight for jail.

"Poor Bryon." Mom wrung out her hands. "That was a very tough thing he had to do."

I looked at her in confusion, this small frail woman in front of me who worked too many hours and had no idea what was going on in my life. She had no idea that Mark was my very reason for breathing.

"What do you mean?" I demanded.

"It was Bryon who called the police," she explained gently. "He found the drugs and turned Mark in."

I stood there, mouth agape as I tried to digest what she was telling me. BRYON had turned Mark in? The same Mark that would have killed for him? My Mom had to have it wrong.

Without pulling on my shoes, I rushed outside and up Bryon's path. I hammered hard on the door until he answered, looking dazed and tired.

"Is it true?" I demanded of him, hair wild and still in my socks. I didn't care what anybody thought just then, I had to know the truth.

"About what?" Bryon asked in a weary voice. I think he'd been expecting me.

"Did you turn Mark over to the cops?"

Bryon sighed, a big heavy sigh and then said;

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."

He said it real honest like, looking me right in the eye.

"You Son- of- a-Bitch!" I yelled, flying at him and swinging my fists. Bryon patiently let me hit out at him until I ran out of energy. By then, I was crying heavily and swearing awful words I had never used before.

_Why the hell had he done this? Why?_

He was looking at me with sad eyes like he regretted it too, like he understood how I was feeling but he couldn't._ He_ had put Mark in jail. _He _had done this to all of us.

My Mom came up the path seconds later, her face worried. She looked at Bryon's torn clothes and the scratches down his face and then she looked at me. I guess she knew I was responsible but she let it go.

"Let's go home, Ally," she said, taking me by the arm and leading me away. I let her, not caring about anything anymore. Mark was gone and it was all Bryon's fault.

I didn't go to school all week. I stopped talking and I slept fitfully. Darcy, Barbs and Ellen came round but I refused to see them. Ponyboy Curtis called but I wouldn't come to the phone. I couldn't stand to see their pitiful faces or hear their sympathetic voices as they told me they were sorry. Sorry wasn't getting anybody anywhere.

Mom started getting real worried about me. She tried to get me to a doctor and when that didn't work, she brought one home with her one day. I stared at him listlessly as he filled out some kind of form and told my Mom I was depressed. Depressed? He had it all wrong. I was broken hearted.

Mom tried to contact the jail for me. She wasn't too keen on me and Mark maintaining contact at first but after a while I think she was ready to try anything. The result crushed me even further. Mark didn't want to see me. Apparently, he didn't want to see anyone.

I didn't know when the trial was. The first I heard of it was when Mrs Douglas told my Mom she'd been. Mark had been sentenced to five long years. My life fell apart.

888888888888

It had been a year since Mark went to jail and I still hadn't heard a word from him. I'd stopped socialising and thrown myself into my school work. It was the only thing I had to keep my mind off things, my only way out. My grades had gone up considerably and the teachers said they had high hopes for me but I didn't care about that. I only studied to blot out my pain.

Darcy, Barbie and Ellen had drifted away as they gave up hope of me ever becoming my old self. I heard Ellen tell Barbie one day in class that Joey had moved into halls at his college but none of that mattered to me anymore. Everything was pointless.

I was walking up my front path one Thursday afternoon when I saw a figure sitting on my porch swing. My heart lurched as for one fleeting second I thought it might have been Mark. Dumb thought. How the hell would he be here now?

I was surprised to see it was Bryon.

I didn't feel so mad at him anymore. He had aged overnight since Mark had been gone. People talked about him all over town and he couldn't walk down the hall without someone calling 'gutter rat' or 'traitor'. The usually hot tempered Bryon Douglas didn't even lift his head to see who had said it.

He had broken up with Cathy Carlson at almost the same time Mark went to jail and now, he was always alone. He walked like a dead man and in time, I began to feel sorry for him.

"What do you want?" I asked as I came up the front steps. I didn't say it harshly but I got to the point. I couldn't think of anything we had to say to each other.

Bryon got to his feet.

"I went to see Mark," he said quietly. "I thought you might wanna know."

I felt a pain in my chest. I had thought Mark wasn't seeing anyone and here Bryon was, fresh from the jail.

"Know what? That he'll see you but not me?" I said, my voice strangled.

"He's been getting in trouble," Bryon said, his eyes searching my face. "They wanted to see if I could straighten him out."

I looked at him for a second before coming to sit down on the swing.

"What happened?" I asked softly, rocking it gently with my foot.

Bryon took a breath.

"He hates me. He said he wanted to make sure he hates me and he sure does. He sure does," he repeated, looking lost and miserable.

"He mention me?" I couldn't help but ask.

Bryon shook his head and each movement tore me in half. It was like I had never existed.

I decided then I had to know. I had to know what was going on in Bryon's head when he had picked up the phone and turned his best friend over to the police. The two were like brothers. Mark had only been dealing so he could pay his way in their house.

"Why'd you do it, Bryon?" I asked him.

Bryon came and sat down beside me on the porch swing and I was reminded of the many times Mark and me had sat there and talked about nothing.

"It was Cathy's brother," Bryon started slowly. "M&M. He had a bad trip you know, he was a mess. Won't ever be the same."

I had heard that from Darcy the week Mark had been arrested but it had seemed trivial at the time in comparison to what else was going on.

"So?"

"So I know Mark was dealing in the same circles. I knew that some dealer had broken Cathy and her family to pieces, then I came home and found the drugs."

Bryon shifted uncomfortably, reliving the moment.

"I just flipped. I don't know why. I just flipped."

We sat there for a long time, old enemies side by side thinking about Mark, our only common link, the only thing we had ever shared.

Bryon said something to me then that probably saved me from the emptiness that I had carried for a whole year.

"He ain't Mark anymore, Ally. He ain't the guy we both knew. He wanted to see me 'cause he hates me. He wanted to see me because he can handle hate. I don't think he can handle what he feels for you."

I looked at him, surprised.

"You knew?" I asked him, wide eyed. As far as I knew, Mark had never gotten around to telling Bryon about us.

"I heard it on the grapevine after it all went down." Bryon shrugged. "But there ain't no room for him to love anyone anymore."

We were quiet for a while longer and I suddenly felt like someone had cleared my airways somewhat. Yeah, it still hurt, I didn't think it would ever stop hurting but Bryon had provided me with the first real words of comfort I had had in about twelve months. He did that off his own back. He didn't have to.

"No hope for you and Cathy?" I asked, suddenly desperately sorry for him, suddenly wondering how I would feel if I had made an impulsive decision that had ruined Mark forever.

"She's dating Ponyboy Curtis." Bryon shrugged. "And the sad thing is I couldn't give a damn."

He got to his feet and gave me a sad smile.

"You're better off to remember Mark how he was," he said as he looked over at me. "He ain't on this planet no more."

Turning away, Bryon walked back to his lonely quiet life, never to be the same boy again.

I sat, swinging on the porch swing, remembering that last time I'd seen Mark, hearing his _'I'll see ya'_ as he crossed my lawn with that lion like grin on his face.

He was gone. I had to accept it.


	21. Eleven Years

**Chapter Twenty**

I never did see Mark again.

I graduated from high school with honours and colleges were falling over themselves to offer me a place. I decided to study English Literature and when I started looking through all the college brochures, one stood out. It was the college of Berkley, California. The reason that it stood out was the front cover had a picture of a deserted beach and far off in the distance, there was a wooden beach hut.

"_You ever think about just getting up and leaving, Ally?" Mark asked me quietly "About living on the coast somewhere where it's always sunny and you don't know anybody else?"_

That was how I ended up in California.

I loved the sun. I loved the easy going nature of life and I told myself that even if Mark wasn't here, I was living the dream. It was warm most days, the coast was beautiful and there were no bad memories. Every once in a while, I spotted a golden haired boy and my heart would skip a beat but whenever he turned around, his eyes were never golden to match.

I dated casually but infrequently throughout my first two years. In the third year I met a guy and it was serious for a while, but then Mom got sick.

Spending every spare minute dashing to the airport put a strain on things but in comparison to my Mom having cancer, I didn't feel too bad about it coming to an end. Some things were more important.

I sat by Mom's bedside day after day, studying through the night and playing nurse in the day. Mom was only worried I would mess up my college degree but I wasn't going to let it slip. I remembered all the hours she'd worked to put me through college and I wasn't going to let her down. However, throughout this determination I suddenly became very afraid that I'd lose her.

Mom slowly went into remission and I returned to California. The cancer scare was enough for me to fly home whenever I got the chance though. She was the only family I had and she was getting older now. Somebody had to take care of her.

After graduation, I decided to go on to law school. I was tempted to stay at Berkley since they had a great law program, but I missed my Mom and wanted to be closer to her. Washington State University in Missouri was only a six hour drive making it quicker and cheaper to visit my Mom. Sometimes she came down to visit me too and we became closer than we had ever been.

I had to get a bar job to put myself through law school and I found a new respect for my Mom and how hard she worked. My Dad had died and left her with nothing except a mortgage and a one year old baby girl. Mom didn't collapse like a lot of people would have. She worked every hour God sent, raised me as best as she could and paid off every single cent of that mortgage singlehandedly. Now that took some doing.

I heard from Mom that Bryon went off to Chicago to study business after high school and had done well. He went into consultancy straight after college. His Mom still lived next to my Mom and whenever I visited, I'd wave and say hello. Bryon never came home at Christmas time, he never showed up there ever but I know that Mrs Douglas visited him a lot. I guess the memories of Tulsa still burned him.

There was still no word of Mark.

I had dreams sometimes about him sitting in a jail cell with his knees pulled up to his chin, tears filling his yellow eyes. I'd wake up my face wet with my own tears and then I'd scold myself for crying over someone who didn't care for me anymore. It was a lifetime ago so why did it still hurt so bad?

I met up with Barbie, Darcy and Ellen now and then when I was home. Darcy ended up hairdressing in a salon downtown and Barbie married some banker type and moved across town to what used to be considered Soc territory. Ellen became a nurse and it was my Mom that actually got her a job at the local hospital. They'd run into each other when Ellen had been going for an interview and Mom had kinda swung it for her.

I heard from Ellen that Joey had moved in with a girl he'd met at medical school and they were engaged to be married. I felt happy that he'd found someone and I was happier still when he became a fully fledged doctor. He deserved it. I hadn't seen him since that day he'd caught me and Mark kissing but I liked to think he didn't hate me.

Two-Bit took on odd jobs around town but most of his employers were lonely housewives who were much more interested in his banter and the twinkle in his eye than his DIY skills. He didn't sound like he'd changed much.

I heard Ponyboy and Cathy Carlson got engaged but I hadn't run into either of them.

I studied hard at Washington and after graduating, I landed a job at a top Missouri law firm. Life was good. I had a fancy apartment and a cat named Hemmingway and I drove a sports car. It contained the same car radio that emitted the bulletin, telling me Mark was dead.

"_Today two teenagers entered a life threatening situation after they picked up an escaped felon at the side of the road in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Mark Jennings, age twenty seven, had been serving a five year sentence for drug offences in an upstate juvenile detention centre. Police branded him as extremely dangerous. The two boys who picked him up, brothers Mason and Texas McCormick, were held at gunpoint until a traffic cop tried to pull them over. The car ploughed off the road and Jennings was shot dead while trying to escape. "_

After I had finished being sick, I sat and cried. I cried for two hours straight and the sun was beginning to set before I felt capable of driving again. Back on the road, I kept the radio off and stared solemnly ahead, trying to keep my mind as blank as possible. I guess I was in shock.

Mom was out on the front porch swing when I arrived home. I guess she had heard the news too.

She looked older, her once glossy brown hair was streaked with grey and she was thinner since the cancer, thinner than ever before.

As soon as she saw my face she said;

"I guess you've heard."

I nodded and she moved over to make space me for me on the swing. She put an arm round me and I leaned my head against her shoulder.

"Did you hear everything?" She asked. "About Bryon?"

I sat up and shook my head, not knowing if I could take anymore. The world seemed to be blurred around the edges like a dream sequence in a movie.

_Mark was dead, Mark was dead._ I still couldn't believe it.

"Three weeks ago Mark broke out of jail and went to Chicago to kill Bryon. He had a gun and it was loaded."

I stared at her and moved my mouth but no sound came out.

"Bryon reckons he had a change of heart at the last minute, that he couldn't go through with it. While he was hesitating, Bryon grabbed for the gun and it went off."

"Is Bryon dead too?" I gasped, my voice sounding strange and unfamiliar. I could have been sixteen again, sitting out on that porch the day I found out Mark had gone to jail.

"No." Mom shook her head. "He was hit in the chest but he's okay. He got to hospital and they fixed him up. Mark was on the run though and for some reason we don't know he was trying to hitch a ride back to Tulsa. That's when he held up those kids with the pistol and that's when the police gave chase and you know...shot him."

"Is Bryon still in Chicago?" I asked. Mom shook her head again.

"No, he's home with his Mom."

"Next door?"

"Yes, hon."

Everything felt surreal. I hadn't seen Bryon since he'd left for college and on the day I found out Mark was dead Bryon was in the very next house. I rose automatically and started to head down the front steps as if on auto pilot. I suddenly remembered I hadn't seen my Mom in almost a month and I stopped and looked back at her. She got it though.

"You go, I'm not going anywhere," she said to me.

I walked down my Mom's front path and opened up the gate to the Douglas house. Little had changed. So little, it was almost surreal. Same chairs on the porch, same dustbins by the side of the house. The place obviously hadn't seen a lick of paint since Bryon had left.

I knocked without hesitation and remembered the last time I'd been here, when I'd attacked Bryon in the doorway.

Mrs Douglas answered.

"Ally!" She looked genuinely pleased to see me but her face was heavily lined. She looked exhausted and it was obvious she'd been crying.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She had loved Mark like a son. In the same month, both her boys had been shot, one of them dead. It was too much for someone to take in such a short space of time.

"I-I-" I suddenly didn't know what to say to her. Should I say sorry for her loss? Did she now not care about Mark since he shot Bryon? I lost the power of speech.

Mrs Douglas saved us the awkwardness by reaching out and hugging me. I thought about how she'd taken Mark in and how he had thought so much of her and everything fitted. She was a nice lady.

"H-how's Bryon doing?" I stammered as she stepped back.

"He's inside," she said. "Why don't you go on in and say hello?"

I hesitated and she stepped out past me onto the porch.

"Is your Mom home?" She asked me.

"Yeah, she's out on the porch," I answered.

"Well, I think I'll go over and say hello." She headed out past me and down the front path.

I watched her go. I guess it was her subtle way of giving Bryon and me some privacy but by doing it, she'd given me no choice. I had to go in and I wasn't sure I wanted to.

Taking a breath, I pushed open the old door and looked in at the living room. Bryon wasn't there. He had to be in the bedroom. The one he used to share with Mark, somewhere I really didn't want to go. None the less, I suddenly found myself knocking on the door.

"Hello?" came a hoarse voice.

"Hey, Bryon." I came inside and breathed a sigh of relief that the room had changed. Instead of two single beds there was a double one, and the once indestructible Bryon was flopped down in it under the covers.

"Jenkins." Bryon struggled to sit up, looking surprised to see me.

"Hey." I came and stood at the foot of the bed.

Part of me wanted to scream at him for what he had done all those years ago but looking at him, I could see he'd paid the price. He was pale and tired looking, defeat written all across his face.

"You heard, huh?"

I sat down on the edge of the bed and nodded.

"Son-of-a-bitch almost killed me but I can't help but feel sorry he's dead," Bryon suddenly blurted out.

I looked at him carefully.

"He cared enough to come look for you," I said. "He musta cared if he didn't kill you."

Bryon looked down at the sheets for a second before looking up at me again.

"He came to my apartment in the middle of the night. I woke up and there were his yellow eyes glowing in the dark. He put the gun to my chest and he told me he was there for payback."

I closed my eyes but was unable to stop the tears slipping down my cheeks.

"I guess I oughta thank you, 'cause it was you that saved my life," Bryon went on in the same empty tone he'd used since Mark had been arrested.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, choking back sobs. That was when Bryon began to talk.

"_Mark stood over my bed, his eyes hard and cold as he pressed the barrel of the gun into my forehead. The pressure he used was unbelievably intense but the pain seemed far off and distant, like it belonged to somebody else. _

'_This is it, then Buddy. I guess you never knew I'd be your undoing but then I didn't know you'd be mine.' His eyes felt like they were burning a hole through me._

'_Think about what you're doin', Mark,' I said desperately. 'You do this and you're gonna see my face every time you close your eyes.'_

_Mark laughed, a cold hard laugh that seemed not to belong to him. At least not the Mark I had known._

'_I see your face anyhow, Douglas. This makes us even. I don't feel any guilt these days. Not no more.' _

_You suddenly flashed into my brain, Ally. I remembered the hurt on your face when you came round here after he got hauled in. I remember the way your eyes used to follow him round a room when we were kids. There was never anything but sincerity towards Mark on your part. That was when I knew you were my last hope of survival._

'_What about Ally?' I suddenly pounced on your name and he froze, his smirk disappearing._

'_What about her?' He snapped. 'That was a long time ago.'_

'_You do this and she'll hear about it. She'll know you murdered someone. She'll know you murdered me.'_

_Mark's eyes glinted without warmth in the dimness of my room. I could see his hand wavering ever so slightly and it gave me hope._

'_Don't do this to her, Mark. You did enough to her alright? Your parents fucked you over and then so did I, but not Ally. She was probably the only person who ever loved you unselfishly.'_

_That got to him. I know it did. He didn't look so sure of himself anymore and for a second I saw the old Mark._

"_How's she doing?" he said, in a small voice, a world away from the hard killer's voice he'd been using._

"_I hear she's doing real good. She went to law school. She's a lawyer now."_

_Mark lowered the gun. It was just for a second, but I couldn't take any chances. I lunged for it and in the struggle it went off._

_As I hit the ground, I could hear him cursing, hear him muttering. He was looking down at me and I mumbled:_

_"Get it over with," expecting nothing but a second bullet._

_In the last look I got of him before I passed out, he was crying like a little kid, nose running and everything._

_He could have finished me off then. He could have finished me off but he never did. He just left."_

I cried like a kid myself when Bryon was done. Eleven years of thinking he didn't care. Eleven years of feeling like it hadn't been real. Eleven years of stopping myself from tracking him down. Eleven years of waiting for a letter that never arrived.

Bryon was quiet as I cried myself out. He was different from how I remembered; quieter, more thoughtful. He had lost the arrogance of youth and the enthusiasm for life. He was empty and numb and tired but he had freed me and I owed him.

"You going to the funeral?" I asked when I had finally quietened down.

Bryon looked at me thoughtfully.

"He almost killed me, Ally, but in most ways I been dead since he left."

I drew a breath. The first fully liberated breath I had tasted in a long, long time.

"Not anymore, Bryon. You gotta let it go. We both gotta let it go. It's over, he's dead, you've paid your dues."

Bryon shrugged indifferently but I saw a glimmer of hope in his dark eyes. A hope that one day the burden he had carried for the last decade would be taken away.

"I'll find out when it is," I said, "and we'll go together, me and you. I'll try and round up some of his old friends. We'll give him a proper send off."

Now I had a plan I felt a little better. Bryon had seemed to regain some colour too.

"Doc said I can get up tomorrow. Maybe I could give you a hand." He shrugged.

I grinned at him.

"Jesus, if Mark could see us now."

Bryon Douglas then grinned his first real smile in eleven years. At me of all people.


	22. The Reunion

**Chapter Twenty One**

The cops called round to see Mrs Douglas three days later as she and Bryon were listed as Mark's only living relatives. They asked if she wanted to give him a funeral or whether they should give him a standard pauper's cremation.

Soft hearted Mrs Douglas said she'd take care of everything.

On hearing this, I insisted that I'd take care of it all. I had enough savings that I'd barely notice the money gone while I knew Mrs Douglas didn't have much cash. Bryon offered to chip in but I turned him down. This was the one thing I could do for Mark so I was going to do it.

I got busy talking to a funeral home, arranging the flowers and going to see the local priest. The funeral was set for the following Thursday. When everything was in place, I had to get together a guest list.

Mark hadn't kept in touch with anyone and his name was synonymous with jail and bitterness in our town. It was common knowledge that he had cut off all contact with both me and Bryon.

Bryon told me Terry had tried to see Mark, he'd even written a few times but had gotten no response. I hoped it hadn't been so long that people didn't care anymore.

Bryon said he'd track Terry down so I left that to him. He was still weak from the shooting and I was worried about him exerting himself so soon after but he wanted to help, he had to be doing something. I could understand that.

I stopped by to see Barbie at her new house and Darcy at the salon. Both girls agreed to come to the funeral. They mostly seemed worried about me and how I was taking Mark's death. They both remembered how I'd fallen apart when he'd been jailed but this was different. I was grieving for Mark but I knew now that it hadn't been a false love, that I had meant something to him. For the first time in years, I felt free.

I drove over to Ellen's parent's home and walked up through their well kept front yard. I rang the doorbell and then stood staring at my reflection in the glass door. I hadn't changed much in appearance. I was still slim and flat chested but I wore a little make up these days and I had exchanged my sneakers for smart ankle boots.

I got the shock of my life when the door opened and Joey Granger stood in front of me.

"Ally?"

"Joey!"

I hadn't seen him since the day I'd broken his heart and I didn't know whether to apologise or hug him. He took the decision out of my hands when he stepped out, swept me up in his arms and swung me round delightedly.

"Hey." I brushed my clothes down, laughing. "I'm not sixteen anymore, Joe, I haven't got the stomach for that."

He grinned down at me. If it was possible, he'd gotten better looking. His brown eyes were sparkling and still full of warmth and he wore his hair slightly longer, some of it falling lazily across his forehead. He was in great shape, it was obvious he worked out, and in his suit he pulled off the suave doctor image extremely well.

"What're you doing here?" I asked him.

"Just visiting the folks, you know. I don't live that far from here, twenty minutes or so." He cocked his head sideways. "You're looking great, Ally. It sure is good to see you."

We looked at each other and in that moment, I remembered the night we'd spent on that hillside looking down on the city of Tulsa. The world had seemed full of possibility then.

"So..." Joey said, still smiling.

"So..." I suddenly remembered why I was there. "Is Ellen home?"

He came out of his trance.

"Yeah, sure, come on in."

The Granger house was warm and tidy. Mrs Granger greeted me pleasantly in the living room and then pointed at the kitchen.

"Ellen's cooking, God save us all." She smiled.

Joey led me into the kitchen where Ellen was tasting what looked like stew. She dropped the spoon on the counter when she saw me.

"Ally!" She flung her arms round me like a teenager and I smiled.

"You okay? I heard you know...about Mark. I woulda called you but I figured you'd call me when you were ready to talk."

That was understandable. After they'd pushed the subject of Mark before I had almost cut myself off entirely from them.

Joey looked down at his shiny shoes. So he had heard but hadn't mentioned it. I didn't blame him. Even if Mark hadn't been the obstacle between us, what did you say to someone at a time like this?

"I'm-I'm organising the funeral," I said, a little hesitantly.

Ellen looked worried.

"Really?"

"Yeah," I answered."I'm throwing a funeral for the Mark we all used to love. The person he was."

Ellen seemed to consider this, examining me closely like I might freak out at any moment. Finally she seemed satisfied I was okay and nodded.

"Well, I'm in. When is it?"

"Thursday at one," I answered. "Lutheran Church, on Sheridan Street."

"I'll be there," she promised, picking up her fallen spoon. "You wanna stay for dinner?"

I shook my head.

"I can't."

"You're quite safe," Joey assured me. "There _is_ a doctor in the house."

Ellen gave him a scathing look and I laughed.

"No, that's okay. I gotta go find Ponyboy Curtis. You know where I can find him?"

"I'm not sure exactly," Ellen said thoughtfully. "The Curtis' sold their old house when Pony graduated college."

"Doesn't one of the Curtis's still work at the gas station?" Joey cut in.

"That's right," Ellen nodded "Sodapop's still local. You could go and ask him."

"Sure thing," I said to her. "Thanks, I'll see you Thursday."

"No worries. And Ally?"

I stopped in the kitchen doorway and she smiled at me.

"If I can do anything, let me know. I know you're a hotshot lawyer now but we can all use a friend sometimes."

I nodded at her and smiled. I had always liked Ellen best of the girls.

On the front porch, Joey put his hands in his jacket pockets looking for all the world like a shy adolescent.

"That goes for me too, you know..." he said, blushing a little. "I know I didn't know Mark but if I can do anything, just let me know."

I hugged him hard, not saying anything, before I hurried off to my car.

I got a big shock when I pulled up at the DX. I always went to Barney's gas station which was closer to my Mom's place so it had been a while since I'd took a real good look at the DX. Except it wasn't the DX anymore.

The large overhead sign now read: RANDLE AND CURTIS.

And there they were, lifelong buddies Steve and Soda drinking cokes and leaning against the pumps. It was like going back into a time warp.

Steve had filled out some and his hair was cut real short but he had the same smirk. Soda still outshone him in the looks department though, his boyish looks having given away to a rugged handsomeness.

Neither of them recognised me as I pulled up which wasn't that surprising. I had hung out with them only that once at Bucks and seen them maybe a handful of times after that in passing.

"Can I get some service?" I said jokingly.

Steve snorted.

"Danny! Customer!" he yelled over his shoulder.

A young guy in a R&C printed shirt hurried over and I smiled. The power of delegation.

"It's okay," I said to Danny. "I'm here to see these two."

That caught their attention and they both looked at me curiously.

Sodapop recognised me first.

"Hey, it's Ally, right?"

"Hiya Soda." I smiled.

Steve was looking a little confused still. He squinted at me then looked at my Porsche.

"Naw, no good, I don't remember."

"Sure you do, Stevie." Soda nudged him "It's... Pony's friend, Ally."

We both knew I wasn't really Pony's friend, not so much that Steve would remember anyway. I got the feeling Soda was afraid of mentioning Mark and upsetting me.

"I used to go with Mark Jennings," I said to Steve.

Granted, it had only been for a few days but I knew that was how Steve would remember me.

"No shit." Steve got up and came closer. "Nice car. You look like you're doing good for yourself."

"You too," I said pointing at the sign.

"It was always our place anyway," said Steve. "Now it's official."

"Well, congrats."

"Thanks," Soda accepted. "What are you doing with yourself?"

"I'm a lawyer," I told him.

Both boys looked surprised.

"There ya go, Steve, you always wanted a lawyer," Soda teased.

"Hey, I don't get in trouble these days," Steve muttered. "I aint a kid anymore."

Soda laughed and turned back to me.

"So what brings you to town? I haven't seen you in forever."

I took a breath. It was still hard to talk about Mark but I guessed that everybody knew he was dead by now.

"I'm organising Mark's funeral," I told them. "I was looking for Ponyboy actually."

Soda breathed a sigh of relief that I'd actually come out and said it.

"Ponyboy lives about a half hour away," he said, "but I could give you his number if you want."

"That'd be great," I said. "How's he doing these days?"

"He's good." Soda nodded. "He's engaged to Cathy Carlson now. You remember her?"

I nodded.

"AND," Steve added, with his trademark smirk. "He's a journo no less!"

"A journalist? No kidding?" I said, impressed. Despite losing their parents, it looked like the Curtis boys were doing okay for themselves.

"Yeah, he's a reporter for The Oklahoman," Soda said proudly.

"Golly." I got a pen and paper from my bag. "What's his number?"

Soda took them from me and spun Steve round before leaning on his back to scribble Pony's digits. Steve grumbled as he did it.

"Thanks." I took the pen and paper back. "It was really good to see you both. Take care."

I was half in the car when Soda called my name. I stuck my head back out.

"Yeah?"

He came closer and said kinda awkwardly;

"We were wondering when the funeral was ourselves. Mark was a good kid. Will it be okay if me and Steve swing by?"

"Of course," I said immediately. "It's on Thursday, one o clock, Lutheran Church, Sheridan Street."

Soda scratched his head and smiled.

"Not sure I'll remember all that but I'll get the details from Pony."

I smiled back at him.

"Okay, see ya Soda."

"Bye," he called as I closed the driver door.

I called Ponyboy when I got home. He answered after three rings.

"Hey gorgeous," he said with familiarity.

"Ponyboy?" I questioned.

"Huh, who's that?" I could almost see him blushing on the other end of the phone.

"It's Ally," I said "Ally Jenkins."

"Oh hey," he sounded surprised but pleased to hear from me. "Sorry I thought you were Cathy."

"That's okay. I saw Soda today and he gave me your number. I hope it's okay that I'm calling."

"Sure it is," he said softly

There was a pause, before I decided to dive straight in.

"I guess working at the paper, you heard about Mark before everyone."

"Yeah," he said sadly. "I hadn't seen him in so long but I still had to go home sick."

I recalled me vomiting on the roadside when I'd heard and knew exactly how he felt.

"So I'm organising his funeral," I said. "I was hoping you'd come. You and Cathy."

There was a short pause on the other end before Pony asked;

"Sure. When is it?"

"Thursday." I said. "You got a pen?"

"You're talking to a reporter." Ponyboy chuckled. "Go ahead."

I read off the address and time and he wrote it down.

"I'll see you there, then, Pony. It'll be good to see you," I said, relieved he was coming. It wouldn't have seemed right without him.

"Er-Ally, I take it Douglas isn't coming?"

I hadn't thought about Pony, Cathy and Bryon all being there together but now it occurred to me it could be less than comfortable.

"He's coming," I told him. "He needs to say goodbye like everyone else."

Ponyboy was quiet. I guess he was a little shocked what with Mark nearly killing Bryon. I guessed everybody else would react that way too and it was strange that for once me and Bryon had a shared understanding of something. We weren't celebrating who Mark had been for the last eleven years. We were celebrating who he'd been for the first sixteen.

"Pony, I don't think he'll care you and Cathy are there," I said honestly.

"Guess it doesn't matter if he does. I'll see you there," Pony said before hanging up. I got what he meant. We were all going for Mark. Nothing else mattered.

I was just setting the phone back into its cradle when my Mom led Bryon inside.

"How's it going?" he asked me. He looked brighter these days. Not happy, but his eyes had purpose in them now.

"Yeah, I got Barb, Ellen, Darcy, Soda, Steve, Ponyboy and Cathy coming. You find Terry?"

Bryon didn't react to Pony or Cathy's names.

"Yeah, he's working on a building site across town," Bryon answered. "He said he'll be there."

I nodded. I guessed that accounted for everyone.

"Hey, what about the guy that Curtis used to hang with?" Bryon looked like he was trying to remember someone. "You remember. The wise ass? Mark always used to say how funny he was?"

"Two-Bit?" I offered.

"That's it!" Bryon snapped his fingers "Maybe Curtis can ask him."

This just showed me how serious Bryon was about making things right by Mark. With Steve and Soda coming, Ponyboy already had two allies if it got messy with Bryon. Two-Bit would make three.

"Pony lives outside of town now," I told Bryon. "I could track down Soda again or maybe see if Barbie knows where to find him."

"Sure." Bryon nodded. "Can I do anything else?"

I shook my head.

"That's the last of it. Except-" I paused and looked at him hesitantly, "I was gonna say something at the funeral. The priest said we'd need two readings."

Bryon glanced up at me incredulously.

"Me? Are you kidding, Ally? The guy put a hole in my chest."

"It was an accident," I argued "and he was your brother. Who else knew him as well as me if not better?"

Bryon was still shaking his head, so I changed tact.

"If you said no, I was gonna ask Pony. He probably knew Mark best after us."

It was a dirty trick but it was all I had left.

Bryon knew what I was doing and his lip curled upwards as he thought about something nasty to respond with. It took me back to a time when that was the only way he'd ever behaved. I was secretly a little pleased. He was pissed, but it was a reaction, something I didn't think he had in him.

I waited for the cutting remark but it never came.

"Bullshit lawyer," was his muttered reply.

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"I can't believe you've dragged me here," Barbie moaned as we pulled up outside of Bucks.

"You sure he'll be in here?" I asked incredulously. Two-Bit had to have hit thirty now. It seemed doubtful he'd still be frequenting his teenage haunt.

"Is the grass green?" Barbie said, rolling her eyes.

She was still beautiful, more so now her husband had paid for her much appreciated nose job. She had been a secretary before she'd gotten married but now she was a housewife. She'd told me on the way over that she and her husband were trying for a baby.

"I didn't make you come," I told her, getting out of the car and tucking my purse under my arm.

"Yeah, you just knew I couldn't resist a ride in the Porsche," she said, getting out and closing the door.

I smiled at that.

It didn't seem eleven years since we'd stood in this parking lot. Bucks was practically falling down now. The neon sign wasn't working in places, all that was lit up was the last two letters.

"Well, come on," I said, taking her arm. Together we ventured inside.

The place was even dingier, eleven years on. The carpets were disgusting and the place reeked of smoke and beer. I had to stop myself from grimacing. Barbie wasn't so reserved.

"Eugh, I think I'm gonna be sick," she said, covering her mouth.

It was relatively empty with some old men playing cards in one corner and a few manual workers in the centre having a quiet drink.

"He's not in here," I said to her as I glanced round.

Barbie tapped me on the shoulder and pointed smugly to one corner of the bar. There, on a stool, clearly in his comfort zone, sat Two-Bit Mathews. He must have felt our eyes on his back because it was then he chose to turn around.

"Barbie doll!" he yelled excitedly. He strode over, causing the other drinkers to stare as he enveloped Barbie in a bear hug.

He looked at me curiously for a second before a smile spread across his elf like face.

"Ally Jenkins." He smirked. "What's a high flyer like you doing back here?"

"Two-Bit, how are-" I started. He cut me off by hugging me hard. I suddenly felt an urge to cry.

Two-Bit was just the same. Barbie hadn't really changed either. The last time we'd all been together in Bucks, they had gotten a room together and I had gotten a room with...Mark.

"Real sorry to hear about Mark," Two-Bit said once he'd released me. "I was thinking about sending some flowers or something."

_Good old Two-Bit,_ I thought, _never afraid to say what he was thinking._

"That's what we're here about," I said. "What you doing next Thursday?"

Two-Bit looked from me to Barbie, grinning like an idiot.

"I may have to check my diary but I'm pretty sure I'm free," he said. "That when his send off is?"

"Yeah," I said. "One o clock."

"So where's the after party?"

Barbie rolled her eyes. Trust Two-Bit.

"My Mom's gonna make some food, we're going back to her place." I said.

Two-Bit looked at me blankly.

"Okay, so after we take Mom home, where's the party?"

"Two-Bit, this is a damn funeral!" Barbie snapped. "Not a birthday party!"

"Well," Two-Bit said thoughtfully, "it occurs to me that Jennings was a fun sorta guy. I just thought we'd do something fun after."

Barbie started to say something back but I cut her off.

"You're right," I said to him. "We should have an after party."

Two-Bit smiled smugly at Barbie who scowled.

"We'll have it here, I'll talk to Buck," Two-Bit said decisively.

"No, not here!" Barbie wailed "It smells like feet."

"We can have it at Bucks on one condition," I said to Two-Bit firmly. "We don't eat a thing from here."

Two-Bit looked as if I'd said something real stupid. He wrapped an arm round my shoulders.

"Ally, girl, that's always been the cardinal rule of Bucks."

Please review :)


	23. I Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer

**Chapter Twenty Two**

I guess I can never quite believe that Bryon Douglas stood up in a church and spoke on behalf of a guy who had almost killed him just two weeks before. When I asked him, I had thought it appropriate but seeing everybody's face when the priest called him up made me realise what a big ask it had been. Big ask or not, Bryon delivered.

"Guess you weren't expecting to see me here," he said to everyone as he stood up.

It was a big church and was near empty. There weren't many of us. All in all there was me, Bryon, both our Mom's, Pony, Cathy, Soda, Steve, Two-Bit, Barbie, Darcy, Ellen and Terry. Thirteen of us. _Lucky thirteen_, I thought miserably.

"I'm not gonna talk about what happened," Bryon said "'cause I think Mark, my brother, was someone else for the last ten years. Before that though, he was my best friend."

Mrs Douglas started sobbing and I saw my Mom put a comforting arm around her.

"I started thinking about our childhood when Ally asked me to say something. Mark was always the centre of attention. The girls always looked at Mark first. He had quite a following," Bryon almost smiled as he remembered "I remember one girl, Katy I think her name was, who wouldn't leave Mark alone. We couldn't have been no more than fourteen."

I vaguely remembered the awful crush that brassy Katy Wilson had developed on Mark. I had been sick with jealousy.

"Mark didn't want to hurt her feelings," Bryon went on, "so he decided he would have to put her off him. He spent days using filthy language, rubbing dirt under his finger nails and spitting at her feet."

Everybody laughed. Even the priest smiled.

"That was just the kinda guy Mark was, he never set out to hurt anybody. Nothing put Katy off though. She kept coming over to our place, parking herself in front of the television, and inviting Mark to come sit near her."

I remembered Katy's 'visiting' phases all too well. I would never go over there because I didn't get along with Bryon so I would torture myself thinking about what they were up to inside.

"This one day, Marvin Gaye was on the television. He was singing that song 'Wherever I lay my hat,' which is basically about a guy trying to ward off a girl's advances," Bryon explained "Mark jumped up, grabbed my Dad's old hunting hat and started dancing manically around the room, mouthing the words to Katy. He looked so stupid I could have died laughing."

I started to smile myself as I imagined it. Mark had been an awful goof at times, kinda like Two-Bit.

"Well, I'm sorry to say that Katy never got the message so Mark had to come right out and tell her in the end," Bryon concluded. "That's not the point of the story though. I guess the point is how hard he tried not to hurt her and how funny he could be. Everyone always wanted to be around him. Especially me."

Bryon took a breath and looked over at the casket where Mark lay, dressed in a good suit as though he were sleeping. He looked the same as he did the last time I'm seen him and for that I was relieved. Bryon had told me he'd taken on a dirty, aging look, but in death, he was the Mark we all remembered.

"I guess if I could tell him anything I'd say I was sorry. I'm sorry for betraying him," Bryon said regretfully. "Although he did shoot me, so I like to think we're quits."

The priests eyes widened and I think everybody was kind of in shock until Two-Bit started guffawing from somewhere in the back. I turned round to see he had stuffed a handkerchief in his mouth to stop himself from laughing. He was going red with the effort. Finally, it all got too much.

"Ahahaha," he cackled, wheezing and gasping as the priest stared at him wide eyed. "I'm sorry, Father, I'm sorry, but this is just all too much!"

His laughter got Steve cackling too and pretty soon Soda and Terry had joined in.

Bryon gave me a wry smile as he stepped down and the priest took his place, still looking a little confused.

"Bryon has chosen the song _'Wherever I Lay my Hat_,' to remember Mark by," he said, stepping down again, looking searchingly at me for an explanation. I just shrugged. It was too difficult to explain.

The church was suddenly filled with the up tempo Marvin Gaye song and there was a mixture of tears and smiles as we all thought about Mark mouthing the words and dancing round his living room wearing Bryon's dads hunting hat.

"_For I'm the type of guy who gives girl the eye,__  
__everybody knows.__  
__But I love them and I leave them,__  
__break their hearts and deceive them everywhere I go.__  
__Don't you know that I'm the type of man who is always on the roam,__  
__wherever I lay my hat that's my home."_

The priest said a prayer after and talked for a while about there being little explanation for the death of a person as young as Mark. He said that God worked in mysterious ways.

I couldn't take my eyes off of the casket from my place in the front row because I was remembering. Remembering how angelic he had looked when he was asleep beside me.

"_I watched him sleep a while, not wanting to break up the embrace we shared. Boy he was gorgeous. With his eyes closed, you couldn't see the toughness in him. He looked younger, more angelic and I fell in love with him all over again. Without the toughness, the barricade he'd built up, I reckoned we'd be together so while his face was as relaxed as it was, I felt like I could pretend."_

There was no pretending anymore though. Mark could have been asleep but the cold coffin he lay in told otherwise.

"And now, Mark's good friend Ally, would like to say a few words," I heard the priest say distantly.

Mom nudged me and I got up slowly and made my way to the front.

"First of all," I said. "I want to thank you all for coming. I know none of us had seen Mark in a long time."

I looked into a sea of sympathetic faces and suddenly I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand up there, with Mark's cold corpse below me. I couldn't say anything. I opened my mouth and closed it again before I felt my legs go from beneath me. I clutched the reading stand and saw the priest get up to help me. Quicker than the priest was Bryon.

He joined me in the front, hoisting me back into a firm stance. I took a breath and looked down at everybody's worried faces. My Mom looked like she was gonna cry.

"You want me to take over?" Bryon whispered, as I struggled to regain my composure.

I shook my head, no. I had to do this. Besides, he'd done enough.

"It-it's okay," I stammered, shaking out the piece of paper in front of me.

Bryon stayed with me as I started to talk.

"I had a whole heap of stuff written down here," I said shakily. "Lots of stuff about how great Mark was."

I screwed the piece of paper up and leant closer to the microphone.

"You probably all got your own memories. You're probably all just trying to make sense of things, like I am."

I looked down at Mark's body and remembered the warmth of it against me.

"Mark didn't get the greatest start in life. He should have had all his parents had to give but he got nothing."

I choked back a sob.

"I guess what kept him together was Bryon, and maybe me. We were never gonna be enough to save him though."

Bryon gave me a squeeze and I felt grateful he was there. I had to finish this, no matter how shaken I was.

"Mark was sweet, generous and loyal, but he got hurt so early on that he was full of anger. It was buried deep, deep down but it was there, it came out when he turned on people."

In my mind's eye I saw him beating the hell out of the guy that had attacked him the day we'd walked home from school. I saw him getting on a lunch table at school to get a better look as the girl who had slapped him got a pasting from the toughest girl in school. I saw him with a gun in his hand, waiting to kill his best friend, someone who he had called his brother.

I didn't know how I hadn't seen it before. Mark wasn't carefree, Mark was fatally wounded by the people who were supposed to love him the most. The day that they had shot each other hadn't been his liberation, it had been his entrapment, his guarantee for a tragic ending.

He talked like his life was one big laugh, but really, he was just looking for an escape, a way to blank out the bad memories he had.

"_You ever think about just getting up and leaving, Ally?" Mark said quietly "About living on the coast somewhere where it's always sunny and you don't know anybody else?"_

"He pretended like nothing bothered him but he was hurting so much it made him numb," I stumbled on, "but even with the pain, Mark always protected his friends from the world. He had the makings of somebody really great, he just didn't get a chance to be that person."

I looked down at the teary faces sat below us and as I saw understanding in their expressions, I was glad they were finally all getting it. Mark wasn't a good boy turned killer. Mark wasn't a remorseless asshole that had tried to kill the only family he had ever known. Mark had been hurting his whole life.

"I don't think any of us will ever meet a guy like him again and I know I'll never love anyone the way I loved him but I get it now." I smiled a painful teary smile. "Mark was beautiful and legendary but he was damaged."

That was all I could manage. I broke down, collapsing in Bryon's arms sobbing. He carefully helped me down from the podium.

I sobbed all the way through the next song, one I'd chosen. Stevie Wonder's _'I Never Dreamed You'd Leave In Summer'._

_I never dreamed you'd leave in summer__  
__I thought you would go then come back home__  
__I thought the cold would leave by summer__  
__But my quiet nights will be spent alone_

_You said there would be warm love in springtime__  
__That was when you started to be cold__  
__I never dreamed you'd leave in summer__  
__But now I find myself all alone_

_You said then you'd be the life in autumn__  
__Said you'd be the one to see the way__  
__I never dreamed you'd leave in summer__  
__But now I find my love has gone away_

_Why didn't you stay?_

There wasn't a dry eye left when the song had played through. Even Two-Bit and Steve were blinking back tears. The priest said a final prayer and we filed out to Bob Dylan's _'Only the Good Die Young'._

We buried Mark on that sunny afternoon in a Tulsa churchyard not far from a weeping willow tree. The tree blew remnants of its leaves onto the wooden coffin, its tears for the departed. When the earth was made flat, everyone began to leave. My Mom took Mrs Douglas on ahead. She looked like she was on the verge of fainting, I guess it had all been too much for her. Soda, Steve, Terry, Cathy and Ponyboy followed.

Bryon, Ellen, Darcy, Barbie and Two-Bit were all looking at me expectantly when I finally tore my eyes away from the ground. I couldn't move away though. It felt like when I left him this time, it would be for good. He would be dead and buried and there would be no more connection.

"Are you ready, Ally?" Ellen asked me. Her face was full of concern.

"I don't know," I said weakly.

Bryon took my arm gently. He had been surprisingly strong throughout the funeral.

"Come on, I think we could all use a drink."

"Well, amen to that!" Two-Bit muttered.

I turned and walked away from Mark Jennings, my first love, and the love of my life. At least I was safe in the knowledge that he was finally free.

**Please Review :)**


	24. Champagne Supernova

**Chapter Twenty Three**

Soda, Steve, Pony and Cathy didn't come back to Mom's. I think Steve and Soda wanted to check in at the garage and Pony and Cathy went with them. They said they'd meet us at Bucks later.

At Mom's place, Two-Bit loaded up generously on the food while everyone else kinda picked at it. At some point we all ended up in the kitchen, leaving Mom and Mrs Douglas in the living room. We were all approaching thirty but there was still the obvious parent/child divide, which made us feel like we had to hide out in another room to be able to talk naturally. Kinda funny when you thought about it.

"You got any beer?" Two-Bit opened the fridge and stuck his head inside, pulling something out. "What in the world is this shit?"

"Low calorie wine," I told him, as he looked at the alien bottle.

"Low calorie huh? It gets you drunk and your pants fit better?" He unscrewed the lid and took a gulp right from the bottle.

"Same old Two-Bit," Barbie muttered.

"Hey, you used to love a piece of Two-Bit," he answered her, coming to sit down at the table. By sheer coincidence, they were both sitting in the very same seats they'd sat in the last day I'd seen Mark. I think all three of us realised this at once.

"Well, hell, I been here before!" Two-Bit grinned.

Ellen, Darcy, Bryon and Terry looked at him blankly.

"We were all here the day Mark got arrested," I explained.

Bryon hung his head in shame but nobody was looking to blame him. It all seemed like so very long ago.

"You were sitting there," Barbie said to Two-Bit.

"And you were sitting there, Doll." He nodded back at her.

"Mark was sitting where Ellen is," Barbie continued, "and Ally was sat in Terry's seat."

"Were you all just hanging out?" Darcy asked. Everyone was looking around, trying to picture the scene.

"Yeah," I said. "I'd made lunch. We were all sitting here, eating."

"Spaghetti!" Two-Bit said excitedly.

"How in the hell do you remember that?" Bryon asked, looking at Two-Bit in wonder.

Two-Bit smiled.

"I never forget a meal, brother. Barbs here was driving me near crazy 'cause she lost her earring. We came over to see if Ally had found it and she was making spaghetti bolognese."

"You never did replace those earrings," Barbie said to him darkly.

There was laughter at this. Trying to imagine those two together was near impossible now.

"Aw, quit your bellyaching. I'm sure your new banker boyfriend has bought you plenty," Two-Bit countered, taking another swig of the wine.

"Husband," she corrected immediately.

I looked around at everybody and was surprised to see that visually, nobody had changed very much. Darcy wore trendier glasses, Barbie had a new nose but otherwise, we were all very much the same.

"So what you been doin' with yourself, Mr Jones?" Ellen asked Terry.

"Went to 'nam." Terry shrugged. "Did my time. Been labouring ever since."

"Labouring and drinkin'," Two-Bit put in helpfully. "Tel's the only guy that could stand a chance against me in a drink off."

"You two hang out?" I asked them both.

"Naw, but I see him at Bucks sometimes," Terry said.

Terry was still short and round with a passion for alcohol. Like Two-Bit, he hadn't changed.

"So you're a nurse now huh?" Terry asked Ellen with a smile "I got a real thing for nurses."

Ellen smiled back but didn't say anything. I guess she was too nice to tell Terry she'd rot in hell before she touched him with a bargepole.

"How's it going with your fella?" I asked Darcy, feeling a change of subject was in order.

"Yeah, good," she said. She was dating someone she worked with.

Two-Bit frowned.

"You know he's gay, right, Darc?"

She hit him hard on the back, causing him to spill the wine down his shirt and swear under his breath.

"He is NOT gay," she snapped at him defensively. Barbie and Ellen were stifling laughs so I guessed this was an ongoing joke.

"Anyone who prances around cutting hair in a women's salon, is gay as the day is long," Two-Bit said, matter of factly, wiping off his shirt.

"He's the manager!" Darcy said, through gritted teeth.

"So he's Lord of the Gays." Two-Bit shrugged. "Don't matter to me, Sweet, just don't be drawing up no wedding plans."

Darcy looked about ready to kill Two-Bit so we decided that then was as good a time as any to leave for Bucks. It was kinda fitting to be having it there, since that was where Mark had spent his last night as a free man.

We made our excuses to Mom and Mrs Douglas and left, leaving the two older women alone. They didn't mind. They were caught up in their own conversation, their mindless chatter distracting them from their thoughts of Mark.

At Buck's, some tables had been pushed together in anticipation of our arrival. Two-Bit had secretly sprung for champagne and several bottles adorned the waiting table.

"Jesus, champagne at a funeral?" Barbie said, pulling a bottle from a bucket of ice. "Real tasteful, Two-Bit."

I shook my head, putting a hand on Two-Bit's arm.

"I think it's great. This should be a celebration of Mark's life. The one he had before he went away."

"See, that's what I thought," Two-Bit said. He loosened his tie and pulled out a chair.

"Where DID you get the suit, Mathews?" Barbie asked critically. "Don't tell me it's yours."

"It was my Pops." Two-Bit laughed. "It's about twenty years old and just about all he left me. Well the suit, and my dashing good looks."

We all got settled at the table and the champagne was poured.

Sometime later, Pony, Cathy, Steve and Soda arrived.

I was amazed at how much Pony looked like Soda these days. Before there had been a resemblance but now it was glaringly obvious they were brothers.

Pony was extremely handsome, his sea green eyes accentuated more now that his hair was cut short. Cathy was the same doe eyed beauty she'd always been.

_Their kids will be heart breakingly beautiful_, I thought, as they walked over hand in hand.

I glanced over at Bryon but he was just smiling politely, no trace of jealousy or animosity on his face.

"Hey, sorry we're late," Pony said apologetically, pulling out a chair. "We just went over to Soda's. My niece didn't want me to leave."

"You've got kids?" I asked Soda in surprise. I don't know why I was surprised, he was thirtyish now and had the kind of smiley face that kids love.

"A little girl, Christina." Soda smiled "She's three; Steve has a boy the same age."

"Yeah, these two really DO do everything together," Two-Bit put in dryly. "And whoever woulda thought Steve and Evie would go the distance, huh?"

"Me," Soda said, tucking his chair in. "He was gone from the second he laid eyes on her."

"Says you!" Steve snorted "You call Lily at home about twenty times a day."

"So?" Soda said, not batting an eyelid.

Steve muttered something incomprehensible and reached for a glass.

As Two-Bit poured him some champagne, Steve's scowl gave way to a small smile.

"Hey, you remember last time we were here with Mark? He punched Karl Jackson's teeth out in the parking lot."

We started laughing and Steve retold the story for those who hadn't heard it.

"Hey, how about when the principal caught him stealing his car to go to probation?" Terry threw in.

That was a new one on me. Between them, Bryon and Terry started telling how Mark had been taking the principals car all year to get to probation and tell his probation officer he wasn't going to steal cars anymore.

"Ah, some of the shit he pulled." Terry grinned. "That guy was a legend."

"You remember when he broke that guy's nose at the stoplight on the ribbon?" Cathy looked at Bryon as she said this.

Bryon laughed.

"Yeah, I thought you were gonna do the same to him after."

"How about when he cut off Angela Shepards hair?" Pony joined in "She told everyone she got it done at the salon."

"That was him?" Darcy laughed and Barbie and Ellen joined in. I' d never gotten round to telling them that story.

Pony nodded.

"I remember in fourth grade Neil Barratt stole my cookies," Ellen contributed. "Mark arm wrestled Neil for them, won, and gave them back to me."

"I remember that!" Barbie grinned. "I think you got a little crush on him after that!"

"For like a week." Ellen laughed.

It was good to hear all the stories about Mark. I wanted to remember the boy he was more than anything.

"Hey," Two-Bit said, "remember when you and Douglas were gonna have a fight over Angela, Pony?"

The table fell a little quiet as Bryon, Ponyboy and Cathy looked at each other awkwardly. Two-Bit didn't notice.

"He started jumping over all those cars to come and break it up. You remember, Terry?"

"Yeah." Terry laughed. "He was still on the roof of my car when the principal came out to see what was going on."

I watched and listened with a slight smile on my face until Barbie nudged me.

"Come on, Ally," she urged. "You must have loads of stories."

"I guess." I felt a little shy with them all looking expectantly at me. One memory came to mind in particular.

"My porch swing used to creak something awful," I told them. "So one day when I was out, Mark snuck over and oiled it for me."

"Never!" Terry laughed "Mark would never do such a pussy whipped thing!"

"Ah, shut up, Terry," Darcy said, elbowing him. "I think it's romantic."

"Yeah, but Jennings didn't really come across as the romantic type," Two-Bit reminded her.

Soda had been sitting there thoughtfully for a long time. I think he was trying to remember something of Mark, when his face suddenly lit up.

"I remember one day I was awful down about some girl," he started.

Steve and Ponyboy looked at Soda with sympathy. I didn't think anyone else knew who or what he was referring to. I certainly didn't.

"Randle and Curtis was still the DX then. I was sitting out the back, smoking a cigarette I shouldn't have been smoking, when Jennings came past. He looked at me and I don't know how but he could just tell straight away something was up. It was a nice day, and I guess he probably had a hundred places he could have been, but he went inside and he bought two cokes and then he came back and drank them with me. After a while, he had me laughing so hard, I didn't feel so bad anymore."

We were all quiet. Mark had a generous streak a mile long with people he cared about. We'd all experienced it in one way or another.

"To Jennings," Steve said decisively, raising his glass of champagne.

"To Mark," Bryon joined in, raising his. We all did the same, toasting to a friend from a long ago childhood. A golden haired boy with yellow eyes and an ever ready smile; who'd arm wrestled back stolen cookies, took the time for a friend in need of comfort, and oiled a swing in secret just to make a girl smile.

He'd had the send off he'd deserved, and I was glad.

888888888

The next day I was stretched out on the old porch swing with a blanket, nursing a bit of a hangover. We had stayed talking and drinking until the early hours about our childhoods and although I hadn't felt that relaxed and happy in years, today I was feeling the after effects.

Mom had gone in to work on her day off since they had been short staffed. I couldn't manage to talk her out of it. Laying there in the quiet took me right back to my childhood. The sun shone brightly and I could hear crickets buzzing in the too long grassy lawn. It smelt like summer.

"Boo!" A hand on my leg made me jump and I opened my eyes to look up into the face of Joey Granger.

"You scared me," I told him, struggling to sit up.

"Don't get up on my account," Joey said with a grin. He lifted my legs up off the end of the swing, sat himself down and let my legs fall back onto his lap. "Jesus, you look worse than Ellen did this morning."

"Always a charmer, Joe," I said, giving him a small smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, that's nice isn't it?" He pretended to be hurt. "I just came over to see how you were. After yesterday, you know."

I felt a warmth creep up inside me as I saw his concerned expression. After everything that had happened with Mark, Joey still found the time to care.

"I'm better today," I told him."I feel like everything went the way it should have. Sure is weird being back home though."

"I can understand that," Joey nodded. "I'm kinda staying with my folks for a while."

I wondered why that was. I had heard he was engaged and living with a female doctor. Was she staying at the Grangers then too?

"Uh, how's your fiancée?" I asked him "When's the big day?"

Joey laughed a little bitterly.

"There's no big day, at least not with her. She left me a few months back but now we've sold the apartment so I have to stay here for a while until I find somewhere."

I didn't quite know what to say to that. The only word that came out of my mouth was

"Why?"

Joey sighed but then kinda gave me this ironic smile.

"She left me for her childhood sweetheart."

"Are you kidding me?" I demanded, shielding my eyes from the sun to look at him better.

"That's exactly what I said to her." Joey laughed "I don't know what the power of childhood is but that's the second woman it stole from me."

I felt awful. I knew he was talking about me and although he was laughing, I could tell both incidents had hurt him.

"I'm really sorry about all that," I said to him. "It's just that Mark came over that day all ready to commit. I don't know what it was with him; he always had this power over me."

Joey was quiet for a minute.

"I guess I'm glad you chose him anyhow," he said. "For your sake. Otherwise you'd probably be sitting here regretting it. At least you got a few days together."

That sealed it for me. Joey was the most unselfish person I had ever met.

"So," he went on in a much lighter tone. "I decided to look into it, you know, this whole childhood sweetheart thing. I had one back in high school, Mary Davies. She was the first girl I ever kissed. So when Hayley left I decided I'd go look Mary up."

"Really?" I smiled. It sounded like a pretty goofy thing to do, not like Joey at all.

"Yeah." Joey nodded. "She was living in L.A last I heard so I got in my car and I drove all the way there. I don't know, I guess I was in kind of an irrational mood."

"So what happened?"

"Mary Davies is now the biggest butchest lesbian I've ever seen in my life."

"No way!" I started laughing hard and it kind of hurt my head to do it.

"I'm serious, she has piercings and everything."

We were both laughing helplessly now and I was clutching my head as I laughed. What awful luck.

"You know, Joey," I said, sobering up, "I had one of the best nights ever up on that hill with you and you promised me we'd always be friends."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Joey said regretfully. "I guess it was just too hard at the time."

Joey leant back in his seat and the swing creaked a little.

"Sounds like it could do with more oiling," he said to me. "I'll have to dig through my old man's garage again."

The smile left my face.

"What did you say?"

"I said I'll have to dig some oil out of my old man's garage," Joey said, looking slightly confused. "Why, what's the matter?"

I sat up sharply and swung my feet onto the floor. I could feel tears building up but I swallowed them back down.

"Did you oil the swing the day after our date?" I asked him outright. My knuckles were white as I clenched my fists and I felt unbearably hot all of a sudden.

"Well, yeah. Who else did you-" Joey suddenly trailed off as he realised exactly who I thought had done it. "Oh, Ally, I'm sorry-"

I gulped, the hangover seeming stronger than ever.

"I have to go inside," I told him quietly. "I'll see you around, Joe."

Joey started to protest but I hurried in the house and let the screen door bang shut behind me.

In my bedroom, I sobbed for a good half hour. I didn't know why it was so important that Mark had oiled the swing but it was. That was_ our _porch swing, that was _our_ memory. It was the very reason that had triggered me agreeing to be his girl. It was a simple act but it held with it the utmost importance.

I suddenly remembered something that had occurred just hours before Mark was arrested.

_Outside, Mark flopped down on the porch swing._

"_Hey." He smiled up at me. "You oiled it."_

"_Yeah, yeah, very funny." I grinned back._

Mark hadn't been joking. He had sincerely assumed that me or Mom had oiled it but it had been Joey.

I walked over to the old memo board in my room and took down the faded old photo of me and Mark aged thirteen, both of us giggling as he tickled me. We looked so young and happy, not a care in the world. That one aging photo was all I had to remember him by.


	25. Box of Memories

**Chapter Twenty Four**

The next day, Bryon came over to say goodbye. He was going back to his job and apartment in Chicago.

Mom was in the living room when he came by, so we went down the hall to my room. He stepped in cautiously and looked around.

"You know, I've never been in here?" he suddenly realised. "I think the first time I even came inside your house was two weeks ago."

"Well, we weren't the best of friends." I smiled crookedly at him and he grinned back. "So you're going back home then?"

"Yeah." Bryon sat down on the edge of the bed. "Time I got back to work, I guess."

"I'm off in a couple of days myself," I told him. "Been a weird couple of weeks, huh?"

Bryon nodded and pulled a face that told me he thought that was an understatement.

"So...you got someone waiting for you back home?" I asked him, partly to make conversation and partly because I was curious as to what had happened to him over the last eleven years.

Bryon shook his head.

"I did have. I think she got tired of the way I was, you know. I didn't make much of an effort."

I nodded. That was easy enough to see. Bryon had been like a walking zombie but he seemed different now. I hoped he'd found some peace at last.

"I was thinking maybe I'll look her up when I get home," Bryon said, smiling a little. "See if the old Douglas charm still works."

I felt happy to hear him say that, happy that between us, me and Mark had helped him find himself again.

"What about you?" Bryon asked "You got a guy back in Missouri?"

"Nah." I shook my head. "I'm married to my job."

Bryon looked at me sadly. I'd never seen him sympathetic and I suddenly saw what Mark had seen in him. Big strong Bryon on your side felt pretty good.

"Was there ever anyone after Mark?" he asked me.

I was surprised but I figured I'd been the one to start asking personal questions.

"Sure." I shrugged, embarrassed and unable to meet his eyes. "There were guys, just nobody special."

Bryon's eyes were slowly moving round the room as he looked at my childhood things. It was the bedroom of a teenage girl still, old makeup and ornaments from another era. His eyes came to rest on the memo board.

"Jesus..." he said, getting up and going to look at the photo of me and Mark that I'd pinned back up yesterday. "Boy, you guys look young."

"Yeah," I said, a little choked up. "It's all I've got to remember him by."

Bryon turned back to look at me with a smile.

"Nah, Ally. We got our memories. No one can take those away."

The hidden irony of his words hit me and much to my horror, and Bryon's, I started to cry.

"Ally, I'm sorry. What did I say?" Bryon stood there stupidly, looking mighty uncomfortable. If I didn't feel like such an idiot, I probably would have laughed.

"No, nothing." I half smiled, wiping my tears away.

"Come on," he coaxed.

I don't know why, but I started to tell Bryon about the porch swing and how it wasn't Mark that had oiled it, but Joey. Bryon listened carefully and then came over and patted me on the shoulder.

"I guess I can see why that'd upset you," he said thoughtfully, "but you got lots more memories of Mark. He was over here with you all the time. It used to drive me nuts."

I listened to his reasoning and knew he was right. It was silly for me to get so upset about one memory.

"You know what the good news is though?" Bryon said slyly "The good news is that there's still a guy alive that thought so much of you he oiled that stupid swing."

The thought hadn't occurred to me. I tried hard to dig up a memory of me and Joey out on the porch.

"_Right, well I'll let you get inside." He stood up and the old swing creaked. "Boy, does that thing need oiling."_

_I smiled as I thought about all the times Mark had said the same thing._

"_No man in the house," I explained. "Just me and my Mom."_

_Joey smiled but said nothing. Then he waved and walked away._

"You know, I never thought about that," I said, slowly digesting the information. "I didn't even say thank you yesterday. I just ran out on him."

"Well, the funeral was only the day before," Bryon reasoned. "I'm sure he'll understand."

He looked like a thought suddenly occurred to him, because he said;

"My Mom's got a box of Mark's stuff out in the shed. You want to come take a look?"

"Really?" My heart leapt. Maybe I could take something of his to remember him by.

"Sure." Bryon shrugged. "They make her too sad to look at now."

I couldn't get out of the door quick enough.

"I guess it's not much," Bryon said, looking down into the small box on his knees.

We were sitting on his front porch after he'd spent a good fifteen minutes sifting through the old shed at the side of the house.

There was a pen knife, some old baseball cards, some model cars and an old sweater.

"I guess I'll take the sweater," I said with a sigh. It wasn't much to show for a person but it was better than nothing.

"It could do with a good wash," Bryon said, lifting it out.

What was underneath the sweater made me cry aloud. I put my hand over my mouth and started to cry for the second time in half hour.

_Mark kicked my jewellery box across the room and it hit the far wall. The lid broke off it and the jewellery spilled out. I suddenly remembered my Nana had bought me the box for my twelfth birthday. She had passed away when I was fourteen._

_I bent down and picked it up, sobbing at the sight of the gaping hinges and the splintered wooden box. It was ruined._

"_My Nana bought me this," I sobbed, scraping up the cheap scattered jewellery and piling it back in. I guessed it was my fault anyway. I'd thrown it at him first._

_Mark came over and knelt beside me, helping me pick up the jewellery._

"_I'm sorry, Ally, I'll fix it," he said, taking the box from me. He stood up and emptied the jewellery onto my vanity table and tried to bend the hinges back into place._

"What is it?" Bryon asked, lifting out the old wooden box.

I took it from him with shaking hands and opened up the box to reveal the beautiful silk lining inside. The box was mended.

"Hey, I remember that!" Bryon exclaimed in recognition. "Mark spent hours trying to fix it. It was broken, all the wood was cracked and my Mom told him to throw it away. He sat the whole night, sanding down the edges. Then he stole some new hinges from the hardware store and replaced the old ones."

"Thank you," I whispered to Bryon through happy tears, as I clutched the box. The box may have been a present from my Nana but now it reminded me of Mark too. I had wondered what had happened to it but I had guessed my Mom had seen it was broken and thrown it out.

Bryon put an arm round me from his spot beside me on the porch. It was a 'goodbye' and a 'you're welcome' hug all rolled into one.

I never thought I'd ever be sad to see Bryon Douglas leave.

8888888888

I pulled up outside the Granger house with butterflies in my stomach. I had some explaining to do to Joey and an apology was definitely in order.

I knocked tentatively and in a few seconds, Joey answered, eating an apple.

"Hi," I said to him.

He looked at me quizzically and took another bite of his apple before he answered me.

"Ellen's not home," he finally said.

"I'm not here to see Ellen, I'm here to see you," I said nervously.

This was seeming like a really bad idea. He didn't look at all pleased to see me.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," I said. "I just felt like Mark's memory had been taken away some."

Joey looked at me carefully before saying;

"Even when he's dead, I can't compete, huh?"

My eyes widened in shock and Joey's cold face suddenly fell.

"Jesus, I didn't mean that, Ally. I really didn't," he said contritely. "That was such a God awful thing to say, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I answered with a sigh. I guess he'd held back for long enough about Mark. Him snapping had been a long time coming.

"Look, I'm going home tomorrow, but I just wanted to say I appreciate what you did. Back then and here and now, coming over yesterday to see if I was okay."

Joey looked at me for a moment before he shrugged.

"No worries."

"So." I smiled tremulously "You found somewhere to live yet?"

"No." Joey leant in the doorway. "I been thinking about leaving Oklahoma, starting again someplace. Clean break, you know."

"What about your job?" I said, trying to keep the panic from my voice. I didn't want Joey to leave Tulsa. Here, I knew where to find him. I could run into him again next time I visited. I couldn't turn up on his doorstep elsewhere.

"People always need doctors," he said, looking out past me onto the street. His eyes were glazed over and I wondered if he was still hurting from the split with his fiancée.

"Yeah," I said, as calmly as I could. "Yeah, I guess they do."

We stood a little while longer before I started feeling uneasy.

"Well, I'll be going. Gotta pack. I told you I was going home tomorrow, right?"

Joey nodded, not looking like he cared either way.

"Yeah, you did. Safe trip home, Ally."

I looked at his blank face and realised I had to say something out loud, that he wasn't going to make this easy for me.

"I'll miss you," I said bravely "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you."

Joey smiled ruefully.

"I'll live."

I tried to come up with something else to say but his face said it all. The ship that was me and Joey, had definitely sailed.

"You take care, okay?" He said, stepping back and bringing the door half closed.

"You too," I nodded curtly and turned away.

88888888888

The following day after hugging my Mom goodbye, I drove by the cemetery with a bunch of flowers.

I stood at the foot of Mark's grave and sighed. The only two men I could ever see myself having a future with were both unavailable to me. Mark was dead and Joey didn't want to know.

_Third time lucky_, I told myself as I put the flowers carefully down at the wooden cross that marked his grave. I had ordered a marble headstone that would be erected in a few months time when the earth had settled properly. At the moment the plaque on the cross just read 'Mark Jennings' and the date he was born with the date he had died. The stone masons had told me I had to come up with something for the new headstone but I was yet to be inspired.

"I'm leaving town," I said to the grave. "Felt only right I should swing by and tell you."

The gold plaque on the cross glistened in the sunlight.

"I hope I did okay by you with the funeral." Somehow, talking to the grave consoled the unsettled feeling in my stomach. "Everybody had great memories of you."

I wondered if it was wrong to think about Joey while I stood there.

"You were right about Joey too," I said, thinking _'what the hell'._ "He is a good guy. Too good for me, I think. I was better off with someone like you, who'd mess me about so I'd feel like the nice one in the relationship."

I laughed. I was joking, out loud to myself in the graveyard. If anybody could have heard me they probably would have carted me off to a mental hospital. I decided it was probably time to go.

"I miss you," I said, picturing his golden hair and wide smile. "I miss hanging out , I miss your voice and I miss the way you smell. It was always the same."

They say smell is the strongest sense of recollection, that it can bring back memories in a way nothing else can. Right then, I could smell Mark. It was an aroma that I'd only ever associated with him and cannot possibly be put into words except that it wasn't soap or sweat or fabric softener from his clothes. It was just Mark.

The wind blew through the nearby willow tree, showering me with remnants of its leaves. I closed my eyes and stood there smelling the air until the breeze had passed on by. It was the closest I'd felt to him in over a decade.

The cemetery was eerily quiet once my eyes were open again.

"Goodbye Mark," I whispered as I turned on my heel to leave.

I could almost hear his response as I walked away.

"_I'll see ya."_


	26. Lions Aren't Meant To Be Caged

**Chapter Twenty Five**

I stretched and looked at the clock. It was nine pm and I'd been working non-stop since I got home at six. I'd even skipped dinner.

It had been six months since the funeral and things were pretty much just like they were before I found out Mark was gone.

Work was busy. I had little time for a social life and for the most part, my only company was Hemmingway, my ginger cat. I had taken him off my neighbour's hands two years ago when her wayward cat had come home pregnant for the fourth time.

Some of the other people in our apartment building had taken Hemmingway's brothers and sisters. Hemmingway wasn't the prettiest cat of the litter and he certainly wasn't the cleverest. What had swung it for me?

His bright yellow eyes that seemed to glow in the dark.

When I had looked at him for the first time, I had heard Two-Bit Mathews's voice in my ear;

"_..your boy here's got eyes like a Tom Cat," Two-Bit observed. "It almost ain't natural."_

Hemmingway walked across the back of my leather sofa and jumped on the desk right onto my stack of papers. I frowned at him. He wanted out.

Getting up, I crossed the room to the door and opened it to let him out.

"Stay outta trouble!" I called after him like he was a rebellious teenager. Hemmingway strutted away, not looking back. Darn cat. He was always chasing after Mrs Carter's cat, his own brother, from the apartment below. Mrs Carter was never best pleased about it.

I went inside and sat back down at my desk, the messiest place in my apartment. I studied the document I had just been reading but my mind was beginning to wander. My eyes strayed to the window sill where my jewellery box sat next to the only picture I had of Mark. Some days I didn't notice them at all, and other days it was like I couldn't see anything else in the room.

I settled back again and was just getting back into work mode when I heard a firm tap on the door. I sighed and pushed back my chair. I betted Hemmingway had terrorised Mrs Carter's cat and she was returning him by the scruff of the neck again.

I swung open the door expectantly and nearly fell over when I saw who it was.

"Joey!"

"Surprise," he said, grinning and lazily pushing his hair out of his eyes.

I just stood there gawping.

"Well, this is real swanky," he said looking around approvingly. "But the tone is kinda getting lowered by the cat fight going on down the hall."

I had been standing there frozen but when he said that, I stepped out and saw Hemmingway ripping into poor Smoky at the end of the hall. I hurried down there and made a grab for Hemmingway. Smoky took the opportunity to make a break for it.

Picking Hemmingway up, I headed slowly back down to my front door where Joey was standing, watching us.

"Figures he belongs to you," he smirked.

"What-" I put Hemmingway down and he scooted off into the apartment. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I figured I'd check Missouri out," Joey said. "See what all the fuss is about."

I didn't get it.

"What fuss?"

"Well you obviously like it," he said. He was looking over my shoulder at the inside of my apartment and I suddenly realised he was waiting for an invitation.

"Uh, come in," I said, stepping back. Joey did so and I shut the door behind us.

He whistled when he looked around.

"You must be making some pretty good bank," he said, smiling.

I knew he made good money too so I just nodded. I didn't know what to say and I didn't get what he was doing here after all this time.

"Joey-" I started but he suddenly grabbed me and kissed me full on, shocking me to the core.

I didn't even really kiss him back. I was too stunned.

"I been thinking about my lousy record with women," Joey said. "But I figure you're the safest bet."

He was smiling a big smile like he was expecting me to join in but I didn't feel like smiling.

"How's that?" I asked, bewildered.

"Well, I know you're not gonna run off with your childhood sweetheart, we're over that."

I started to feel a little mad. Who did he think he was, swanning in here after six months and telling me he was here because I was safe?

"Well," I said coldly, "what's brought all this on?"

Joey looked at me with his deep brown eyes.

"I was talking to Ellen. She told me about the funeral; she told me about Mark and what you said about him. I know why you couldn't let him go."

I felt my eyes grow watery as I remembered the funeral and then I was curious. What did he get that I didn't?

"He was broken, Ally. He needed you more than I did. You knew that, too."

I had never looked at it that way.

"I know you loved him," Joey said earnestly, "but I also know you worried about him. Day in and day out. It was hard to let go of him not just because you loved him but because you knew he needed you and you were right. Without you, look who he became."

I nodded and a single tear fell down my cheek. Joey tenderly brushed it away with his finger.

"It was the jail," I said to him, finally feeling like he understood me, that he no longer thought I was a cold hearted harlot who had simply led him on. "He was as brave and strong as a lion but the jail killed him."

Joey nodded sympathetically and there was no jealousy or anger in his eyes. He said simply;

"Lions aren't meant to be caged."

I looked at him for a long time as the words sank in. Strangely enough, Hemmingway was pawing at the front door and whining to get out. It was too late now and he'd been in enough trouble for one night but he was still craving freedom.

I stepped into Joey's arm and kissed him with enough fervour that he knew I meant it. He slipped his arms round me and we stood there, in the middle of the apartment kissing like our lives depended on it.

Later, we found ourselves lying on the sofa in each other's arms with Hemmingway lying on the rug beneath us.

"You do realise I'm unemployed and homeless, don't you?" Joey asked me.

I laughed.

"That's okay. You can keep house."

He gave me a scathing look.

"I'll find work," he promised. "I'll start looking right away."

"People always need doctors." I grinned, watching Hemmingway watch us. I don't think he quite knew what to make of Joey.

"He's watching you," I said. Joey knew who I meant right away.

"He's been watching me since I got here," he said observantly. "And after seeing him in action tonight, I can't say I'm not a little afraid."

"Don't be silly." I laughed, nestling my head on his shoulder.

Joey frowned as he and Hemmingway studied each other, and said;

"I can't help but think I've seen eyes like his before..."


	27. Epilogue

_**EPILOGUE**_

_Three Years Later_

_We've been driving for hours and I'm tired. _

_Joey glances over from the passenger seat and gives me a worried smile. I swear he gets better looking every day._

"_You okay?"_

_I look down at my swollen belly and smile. The baby is kicking and has been for the last twenty minutes._

"_Yeah," I reassure him. "We'll be there soon."_

_We are driving to Tulsa from our new house in Missouri. We are staying with my Mom for a week or so, and she is over the moon about my pregnancy. She's been waiting for grandkids ever since me and Joey got married two years back. Ellen is thrilled at the prospect of being an aunt and her parents are pleased too._

_I know Joey is secretly hoping for a boy, but I don't care either way, so long as it's healthy._

_Hemmingway whines from his carrier in the back seat and Joey makes soothing noises to quieten him._

_I smile softly to myself. Over the years, the two have formed an uneasy alliance. Well, that's what they like me to think. I often come home to find Hemmingway purring away in Joey's lap but as soon as I open the door he will leap off and look disinterested while Joey will go back to his newspaper._

_Hemmingway settles down again and Joey puts out a hand and touches mine briefly before refocusing on the road._

_It has been a long drive and we're both exhausted but before we get to Mom's we have to make a stop. It's tradition now and Joey is on auto pilot. He pulls up outside a wrought iron gate and then he gets out and hurries round the car, our shiny four wheel drive. We sadly had to exchange the Porsche when I found out I was expecting._

_Joey opens my door and helps me out carefully since I am absolutely huge now. He then opens the back door and leans inside, reappearing with a bunch of flowers that he hands to me._

"_Take your time," he says, stretching and leaning on the car._

_I smile fondly at him before I walk up to the iron gate and step into the cemetery, the colourful bouquet in my arms._

_I head up the path, past the weeping willow, and come to stop at Mark's grave. _

_The marble headstone is now in place._

"_Hi," I say in greeting. "Sorry I've been so long. I been kinda busy."_

_I indicate my belly and I can almost see his shocked face and his expression which would read 'no shit?'_

"_I hope you're doing okay," I say. "I still think about you every day."_

_The wind picks up and I smell his scent but it doesn't surprise me anymore. I often smell it when I'm here, but the last visit was some time ago._

"_I'm in town for a while," I inform him. "So I'll come back again soon. I gotta go now though, I'm bushed." _

_I stoop with difficulty and place the flowers next to the headstone._

_"See ya soon, Mark."_

_As the wind blows a little heavily, I waddle away with my recently developed pregnancy walk to where Joey is still waiting, leaning patiently against the car._

_Back in the cemetery in the shade of an old weeping willow, Mark's headstone glistens with his name his date of birth and death and a further six words that I borrowed from someone special._

_Engraved in neat bold letters they tell the world that;_

"_Lions Aren't Meant To Be Caged."_

_THE END_


End file.
